to not tell DH I have the morning off?

[MopedManiac]

Have accrued some time-in-lieu at work so decided I could do with a morning to myself (finishing bits n pieces, catching up on iPlayer, have a bath, that kind of thing...).

Told colleague I wasn't going to let DH know (he and DC leave for work/school quater hour before I do so they will be none the wiser) - she was horrified that I would lie to DH (her words).

I just know that if he knows it will be a conversation about whether I'm being productive with my time (you could get x, y & z done) or load me up with new tasks.

AIBU? WWYD?

If he would prevent you from having some wind down time then no I probably wouldn't mention it either xxxx

I have thought about doing it before but always felt guilty at the thought of not telling him.

If you have no guilt, then enjoy!!

YANBU! Sometimes we all need some peace, without obligations.

It sounds a reasonable response, in answer to your question. Although it's not likely to get you anywhere. Do you feel he knows you, loves you?

I work PT and love my only day off in the week. The other day is spent doing housework so I don't feel as it's a day off.

MopedManiac this is my first ever post but just had to say your reply made me so sad. I could have written it myself. Take whatever time you can to have time for you. I spend my life omitting the detail to so I don't get in lot augments and bother.

RepentAtLeisure
I would see it as having to report my whereabouts to my partner at all times. If your workplace let you take an extra long lunch - two hours instead of one - would you text your partner and let them know?

I would actually, in a gleeful kind of way. Same as if I left work early or late I would let DP know so that he could make sure dinner was ready and hot in time for my arrival. A bit like if DP has a half day and a lie in I creep out of bed to make sure he gets rest. And if one of us has An Important Morning coming up the other will get up and sort breakfast and coffee whilst the first flaps about getting washed and dressed.

But I suspect that I have a different relationship with my OH than OP does.

Careful angels I'll get 'something in my eye'. x

babooshka - I recall we used to be like that once... I think...

I'd be honest and say I have the day off.

Then again I wouldnt be with a man who would load me up with "tasks" or quiz me on how productive I'd been, so I'd have nothing to hide by telling him.

I don't think it's unreasonable to have time to yourself, I do think it's unreasonable to lie about it. Everyone needs a break, it shouldn't be something you need to hide from your DH

I think it's a bit strange and I'd be a bit suspicious if my dp had a morning off and didnt think to mention it.
Also if you leave 15 mins after them will you not have to do your usual routine of getting ready for work?
That said if he would plan your morning for you I can see why you "lie" which it is btw as your dh thinks you're at work and you're not.
why dont you say you don't feel so good in the morning and say your going to call work and ask for a late start so you can chill for a bit?
Your dh sounds like a bit of a dick if you can't have a morning off without being loaded with to do chores or can't understand your needs.

I know this feeling. I have two friends and a mother that i keep having to berate myself when I've mentioned a day off, as they all think 'oh they wint be doing anything..i'll have that' and phone me up or say 'as you're off, come and help me with...' its a bloody nuisance!

If DH is a 'what ypu could do is' type or a 'what you shoupd have done' is type. Say nothing! enjoy!

I don't tell OH when I have a morning off. Thats because I take it as complete peace time I read in the bath etc, and I don't want anyone ringing me and taking up that time. That goes for anybody. Besides having a partner shouldn't amount to an obligation to report everything. What for? He'd likely understand perfectly if I said its because I want a peaceful day but Im not having any of that quick call thing "oh as you're at home today could you get me so n so from shop/dry cleaners" etc. It can get done another day