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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to use James on a girl?

403 replies

AyGirl · 09/11/2016 16:06

Am overdue. Baby has not arrived. Do not know gender. Have finally after much indecision, decided a girl will be Iris James. Mentioned to DB who got very upset and kept on saying it's not a girls name. Mother has rang me this morning and said he was so upset because he wants to name a son of his James. Keep in mind he is not married or having a child. I do think they are TTC. But I want to use Iris James!!!!! She said that I shouldn't and should save it for him because it will be his first child and a son. So what, the two beautiful little girls I've delivered into our family are nothing. A boy will probably be Gage Theodore.

My older DDs are Hattie Juniper and Cleo Annika so we use quite different names.

OP posts:
schokolade · 09/11/2016 16:07

Why James? Is it your maiden name/special significance?

Have you considered Jamie? Not so much to appease your brother, but it IS a boys name.

Allthebestnamesareused · 09/11/2016 16:08

What about compromising on Jaime or Jamie?

Having said that it is entirely up to you and I wouldn't save it for someone else on the basis they may one day have a boy and want to use it! He may end up with 5 daughters!

I've never heard of it being used for a girl and people may end assuming its a family surname being used as a middle name.

Believeitornot · 09/11/2016 16:09

Why James?

PilkoPumpPants · 09/11/2016 16:09

Yanbu

But Gage is awful, sorry!

Trifleorbust · 09/11/2016 16:09

James is definitely a boy's name. Do as you will. I'm having a girl and am considering Phil Hmm

ElsaAintAsColdAsMe · 09/11/2016 16:10

It's fine to use, your brother is being weird and can still use James as a first name for the son he may or may not have one day if he wants.

wooooofudge · 09/11/2016 16:10

This is why you should say nothing about name choices to anyone else. You don't know that your mother hasn't just spoken out of turn. If you intend to call your new DD Iris rather than Iris James then I'd just ignore. It really doesn't matter in the grand scheme of things.

Skittlesss · 09/11/2016 16:11

I think you should keep it. It sounds lovely and goes with your other two DD's names. :)

LuckySantangelo1 · 09/11/2016 16:12

I think iris James is a lovely name. I'd be inclined to ignore your bro & mum & push on with what you want to call your kids. Don't discuss it with them anymore.

EveOnline2016 · 09/11/2016 16:12

Sorry but James is either a boys or surname.

It's not you who has to live with that name but your potential daughter.

BalloonSlayer · 09/11/2016 16:13

Well imagine if you had always wanted to call a girl Annabelle and your brother was expecting a boy and announced he would have the middle name Annabelle. Are you saying you wouldn't be in the least bit pissed off that the name you wanted had been used by another family member for a baby of the wrong sex?

AutumnLeavesAgain · 09/11/2016 16:13

Trifle: Philomena - I have known two!

BalloonSlayer · 09/11/2016 16:14

Gage Pet Semetary

whippetwoman · 09/11/2016 16:14

There's an episode of Friends where Rachel mentions James for a girl.

Unfortunately I think of Pet Semetary by Stephen King when I hear the name Gage as it's the name of the little boy in the book/film. It doesn't end well for him alas. Just in case you get some less than positive reactions to it.

expatinscotland · 09/11/2016 16:14

No, you're not unreasonable to use James for a girl, just ridiculous and stupid. And it won't sound different, it will just sound like you used your former surname as a middle name for your daughter. As for Gage, there are no words.

Trifleorbust · 09/11/2016 16:14

People don't get to bag names they like. Gender aside, the OP can use James if she wants. Bit weird but her call.

whippetwoman · 09/11/2016 16:15

Cross post with Balloon Slayer

Trifleorbust · 09/11/2016 16:15

Philomena is nice but I prefer plain "Phil".

Nanny0gg · 09/11/2016 16:16

It's a middle name. Is it really vital that you use it?

Your DB doesn't have first dibs on a name, but to use one he's always wanted on a child of the 'wrong' sex seems harsh when it's not even going to be in daily use.

MrsTerryPratchett · 09/11/2016 16:16

DD has a harsh sounding second name as a middle name. It's important to me and no one else will ever use it, let's be honest. She won't have to 'live with it'.

What if your DB's future hypothetical mother of his child doesn't like James?

shovetheholly · 09/11/2016 16:17

It's a middle name. Using it does not preclude your brother also having it as a first name. In my family, about 6 of us have a part of our name that is the same, including two people with the same first name, and one with a variant that has one letter added.

This is a total storm in a teacup.

JenLindleyShitMom · 09/11/2016 16:19

It's fine. It's a middle name. No-one announces their middle name when asked for their name.

BorpBorpBorp · 09/11/2016 16:20

James is a boy's name, but it's also a surname, so I don't think it's completely absurd to use it as a middle name on a girl. It also doesn't stop your DB using it as a first name for a son. Especially if there are family connections.

peppersaunt · 09/11/2016 16:20

Blake Lively/Ryan Reynolds' daughter is James and Jamie King (actress) called herself James when she modelled in the 80's/90's (FYI)

Singeroftunes · 09/11/2016 16:20

whether we like the name or not...you don't ask...you can use any name you want. there was a girl in my daughters class called lilly-jane. for a whole term I thought she was lilly-james and called her that. BTW the names you have for children are beautiful.