Eldest DD wants to go to Oxford I fear her tribe is not there

[Pisssssedofff]

But she's determined. I want to support her I really do but I want her to meet her life long buddies at uni.

Any thoughts ?

SuperFlyHigh. She's gone off the idea so we're all good

This almost comes across as a stealth boast post to me but then slightly laughable with grade predictions!

Most peculiar

Off the idea of Oxford not university

Yeah you said.

Pissssed, she won't be getting to interview with any Bs in her predictions. It needs to be all As (or maybe AA*A) for most courses.

Amazed you think she's "getting in" if she wants to go there... and totally befuddled by this "tribe" talk.

Business Studies would be another university!

Her grades are not low what planet are you on, the are better than her father and i's GCSEs added together and we both have masters

In comparison to Oxbridge applicants they are low, I applied to an Oxbridge course and was rejected with the reasoning "poor GCSE grades" which were all A/A* apart from 2 Bs in subjects irrelevant to the course I was applying for.

My ex friend her son (who wasn't considered bright etc) he's studying marine biology at uni this year not sure where but he loves the subject.

Get her to choose the right uni!

she told me she thinks she's a lesbian not that she's a lesbian, I don't suppose she's had much of a chance to have a fiddle and find out yet ...

WTAF?

I grew up in Oxford (although didn't make it to the uni) but from your description it sounds like she'll fit in!

I personally think that uni allows people of all backgrounds and personalities to find friends in a way they never have been able to before. There are so many opportunities put on a plate for you, I'm sure she'll settle in wherever she chooses to go.

Also, I wouldn't say Oxford is a big city...

Also uni isn't the be all and end all. SIL was shocked for years that I earned more than her as PA to her who is working in the arts.

They're low for Oxford.

But this is all putting the cart before the horse. Let her get her GCSEs and start her A levels and see what she is predicted for those. There are many great unis out there and the school sounds like a good school which will offer guidance.

I'm just going to assume that you're legit, and the reason your posts constantly contradict each other is because you're legitimately confused...

Her predicted GCSE grades are very good. But they're not good enough for Oxford. There's a gap between "very good, and more than good enough to lead to a good degree and career" and "likely to get you into a competitive course at Oxbridge".

University in my mind gives her serval options, first a nice safeish environment to grow up, explore her interests, sexuality whatever ... Not so easy to do in the world of work. She could in theory go into her field at 18, but she doesn't have the financial support she's need or the networks, again I think uni would be a good place to develop that. Also she might get there, join the club and bloody hate it. I thought I was going to be one thing, joined the society and had a complete career change by Christmas of my first year. Better to find that out at uni than on the job

They decide if she will fit in, then they will offer her a place. From the titbits you've said it sounds like she'll fit right in tbh.

I don't disagree with uni op I never went (predicted to go with French to uni at 15 but hated school and left at 16!), but not for everyone.

SuperFlyHigh which was the whole idea of the post, I think university is much much more than just a piece of paper at the end. She's not the type to spend three years getting pissed/stoned/high she will actually work so I want the social aspect to be fun too

I'm late to the thread and rather baffled by numerous aspects of it. But I hope your DD will receive good advice about A level choices, and especially about "facilitating subjects" as the Russell Group call them.

Law isn't on the Russell Group's list, and isn't a sought-after A-level even in applicants for legal careers (who do better to take facilitating subjects before coming to law either at the undergraduate or postgraduate stage).

FWIW, my (very happy) Oxford undergraduate years didn't involve consorting with junkies and thieves and were the foundation of lifelong friendships with a diverse group of talented people. I hope your DD finds her "tribe", whoever (and wherever) they may be.

Her grades are low for Oxford pisssssssdoff what fucking planet are YOU on?

She hasn't even say them yet. Resorting to swearing, really ?

The whole discussion is irrelevant if she wants to study business studies.

NerrSnerr I agree, far better options available it seems

And yet the things numerous posters have told you don't seem to have gotten through to you.

What planet are you on? There, does that comply with your delicate sensibilities?

just let her apply.
it will be one choice out of five.
let her decide.
support her.
first let her sit her GCSEs!

cestlavielife I don't think she needs the pressure, if she's gone off it I'm fine with that