Eldest DD wants to go to Oxford I fear her tribe is not there

[Pisssssedofff]

But she's determined. I want to support her I really do but I want her to meet her life long buddies at uni.

Any thoughts ?

Pisssssed - been at the gin this morning, by any chance? So your DD will walk into Oxford if she wants to go, despite not being predicted the required grades or it offering the subject she wants to study, and it's tribes you are worried about?

My daughters in her second year at one of the smaller colleges, renowned for its friendliness, (seems to have made that it's USP, as it's not going to compete on architectural grandeur!) she was convinced that Oxford was going to be full of 'fons' (freaks of nature ) who she wouldn't relate to, but she has made a group of really lovely friends, and the college system makes sure everyone has a wide base of acquaintances from which to choose your bff's, not just your course buddies or Hall mates. If your daughter is lucky enough to be offered a place chances are she will find 'her tribe' and if she doesn't then she can cross that bridge when she comes to it, nothing ventured nothing gained.

You also appear to have your A-levels and GCSEs mixed up.

Okay, those are great predictions. My daughter is a similar age and she is thinking about careers based on the subjects she is predicted A*'s for, then working back from there to the masters/D.phil she'll need AND THEN back to the under grad degrees that will set her up best for that AND THEN back to the A'levels that that course requires. Which should then (and do in her case) match up again with the subjects she is doing best in.

Get her in the shorter term to study hard and not take her attention off her weaker subjects, because if one of those B's slips to a C it will almost certainly rule out a top university.

And as for friendships - since she hasn't started A' levels yet, that will be a great time to find her tribe. There is lots of movement for sixth form so even if she isn't moving school, more pupils are likely to join it. And by concentrating on her best subjects she'll find like minds in those lessons.

Trifleorbust - only targets in numerical format are English Lang and lit - 8. Rest are in grades

There's no business studies courses at Oxford University, there's Economics and Management - and out of all the applicants only 25% get interviewed, 8% of applicants get a place, and the requirements are AAA, she has no chance with B predictions, and why would she when the vast majority of people applying will have AAA-A predictions and a mass of relevant extra currics.

What other universities is she looking at?

Just because the teachers at her school invited her to the trip it doesn't mean she has a chance, they aren't the admissions tutors, it means nothing.

I'd recommend she joins TheStudentRoom.co.uk where current and former applicants post their grades/offers/rejections so she can get an idea of what she is up against.

OP. DS has just got 12 A or A*'s at GCSE, is studying the harder A Levels mentioned and I have no clue if he's oxbridge material at this stage.

I wouldn't imagine a school trip would be to Oxford Uni at this stage?

Do you have the letter?

This is like falling down the rabbit hole .

sarahnova69 she told me she thinks she's a lesbian not that she's a lesbian, I don't suppose she's had much of a chance to have a fiddle and find out yet ... Hope that clears that up !

I wouldn't imagine a school trip would be to Oxford Uni at this stage?

These trips are common in GCSE years-it's to inspire the students to work hard and aim high.

OK so I am confused but I think

• the OP's DD is in Y11 so UCAS form is a year away
• she has some decent GCSE predictions which would not rule out Oxford
• we have no idea how she will do at A Level
• OP's DD has gone on some sort of widening participation visit, with, I assume the intention of broadening horizons.
• we have no idea what OP's DD might like to study but it is not Business Studies as that is not offered.

ok i went to oxford. it sounds like she is on a day arranged with the school for high achiever or high potential- that's great. Oxford is pushing hard, especially with state schools, to get more people interested in applying- often the first barrier to application is a self imposed one out of a wrong assumption people wont fit in/ it is too posh etc.

The colleges all vary greatly from eachother. St Catherines is very chilled, state school heavy, easy to fit in. Wadham is very left wing, strong on LGBT, St Johns in v. academic (and people often quite wealthy), etc etc. get your hands on an alternative prospectus to work out which one might be a good fit. I'd say somewhere like Wadham/ LMH/ even St Hilda's (all women) from how you describe her.

That's weird as I'm pretty sure Maths has now changed over to 1-9 as well. Either way, this is all way ahead of the curve. What she needs to be worried about is her grades at GCSE, not whether she will fit in at Oxford for a course she isn't even decided on yet.

I'm reminded of an ex friend of mine who was banging on about her straight A DD was going to a red brick or whatever they call it eg Oxford etc. Come GCSE time DD fucked up went to college dropped out, bad lifestyle and now at 23 works in a kids indoor play park thing in Westfield. Bit of a comedown for her mum.

So OP if she is doing her GCSEs then hold your horses. Encourage her to do her best. There is lots of time for her to figure out what she wants to do.

You really need to realise that some of the brightest of students don't get into Oxbridge though, she'll be set for a huge fall if you're telling her that she'll do everything she wants to because the harsh reality is that for the vast majority this is not the case.

TheHemsleysAteMyHamster. I've screen shot that post thank you.
I think the whole post has been really helpful in just showing what I don't know. I think I choose uce because it was near the villa ground and that was it !

and for all those who think yr 11s don't get invited to days at Oxford. THEY FUCKING DO! I used to host them. also it will be at a college, possibly hosted by an access scheme... there is no "university" to visit as such. so if you're all googling furiously for dates to prove she is lying it likely wont appear anyway.

I wish your daughter luck. hitting Bs at GCSE means she is still a jump away from the entry requirement but by no means does it mean she cant get there!!

SuperFlyHigh I'll be thrilled to bits if she achieves her goal which she doesn't even need a university degree for anyway, she's just going because she can

A trip to Oxford doesn't mean she's got any realistic chance of getting in. Her predicted grades at gcse are low. Once she has achieved all As and A* at gcse, you can hope she can do the same at A level. It's far too presumptuous right now.

She doesn't have anything to suggest a successful admission right now, so no need to worry about tribes.

What's the goal that doesn't need a degree?

Thanks Purple for that clarification, of which I wasn't aware.

Apologies that I am on the phone at present.

Is it seriously worth £27k of fees to go "just because she can?"

PurpleDaisies I think it's worth having whatever the cost

Whatthefoxgoingon*. Her grades are not low what planet are you on, the are better than her father and i's GCSEs added together and we both have masters

Why does she want to go just because she can though?! Even my SIL says now that Oxford isn't for everyone and she's not 100% glad she went. But it does look good on paper.