To ask why some people are critical of breastfeeding past a year?

[LazyJournalistsShouldPissOff]

I have a 15 month old DD who still breastfeeds in the morning, and for comfort at other times as needed, for example when teething. Fwiw, I never "preach" about bf, DD also had formula at times, nor do I bf in front of anyone except DH these days as most of the time DD is happy to go all day without it. However, family members do ask me if I'm still feeding. Up to DD's first birthday most people were supportive of me bf (with a few exceptions) and said what a good start I had given her. Since then I have had the same people asking again, then on hearing I'm still bf start telling DD she needs to grow up, she's too old for it etc. She doesn't understand, but I find it really uncomfortable as clearly the comments are aimed at me.
I never intended to bf this long but I honestly think DD would be distraught if we stopped now, and there are so many benefits to her health that if it wasn't for the criticism I would feel happy to carry on for longer. However, knowing that family think it's odd makes me feel bad about it, even though rationally I know that it's really good for her! I started defending why I still bf in as diplomatic a way as I could but it's hard because I really don't want to offend anyone or make out I'm a better mum or anything like that and I know my MIL in particular sees the mere act of bf as a criticism of her because she didn't do it, as if me bf is to spite her. Anything I say will be used to bitch about me, as though I'm demonising formula. Even though we did use formula sometimes! But when people are critical of something that's actually really good for my DD I do want to defend my choice because I don't see how they could argue with science!
Why is it that some people become critical after a year of bf? And how do I explain the continued benefits that are making me stick with it without offending family members who didn't bf?

You don't have to explain yourself to them. Feel secure in the choices you are making. I BF'd till 18 months and 2 years. Nothing wrong with it all.

Exactly - it's so sad isn't it that a thread asking for advice is so vehemently responded to. If the OP had said that her MIL was making comments about her sons prolonged use of a dummy or a bottle I'm sure it would have been much much different - as to the child they're all the same thing.

I cannot see anyone on the thread feeling bad about the WHO guidelines? No one here has said the WHO guidelines make them feel bad. If anything, I've been very confident in my ability to read and interpret scientific data and to make my own decisions from that.

stopfucking is right and I would say you are in the minority thumbwitches, the only time I ever see WHO guidelines bandied about is in relation to BF.

I am very supportive of those who wish to continue to BF past a year, but spouting WHO guidelines is not necessary.

And on scientific support: You often hear people say things like, but the risk of you getting ovarian cancer is reduced if you do extended breastfeeding - this may be so, but if you unpick the statistics they paint a slightly different picture.

Say a study finds extended breastfeeding reduces the likelihood of developing ovarian cancer by 8%. Great. Yet, the overall risk of a woman getting ovarian cancer is about 2%.

So 8% off 2% is only a smidgeon less off the overall likelihood of getting ovarian cancer.

If people moved about more and and worked on their stress levels they'd have a much better chance of protecting against various cancers than extending breastfeeding.

Popular those statistics are not reasons to BF, they are just benefits...

I don't know why people care so much about what others do. I am bf my 15 month old son, it had been night feeds (middle of the night) and wake up only, for a couple of months, since he dropped his bedtime feed, preferring the cup of cows milk. Last night he didn't wake for a feed at all, but fed briefly at wake up. I am hoping to capitalise on this as was wanting to nightwear/stop bf as am 6 months pregnant. People do sometimes ask me, but I don't feel the need to explain myself. None of their business!!!

Stop yourself saying anything other than 'yes I am still feeding' OP and if they question you, 'its working for us'

I breastfed until 21 months - and only stopped then because of massive stress affecting my letdown horribly. It's your baby and your body - if it works for you then why stop?

Yes of course. But the point I'm making is that people grossly over estimate the benefits.

Cancer risk is multifactorial.

Because people are nosy and interfering and judgemental if you don't fit a narrow perception of normal.

If anyone asks and you can't bear to be outright rude which I would be just say you stopped ages ago and carry on as you wish. Just avoids all the shit.

As are the reasons ppp BF

Ppl

OP here, thanks for all the replies; it is an interesting topic! I think the pp who said that it's to do with people seeing 1 as the time to stop being "babyish" probably hit the nail on the head. I imagine most people who think it's weird do so because they see it as something for babies. I also think a lot of people think bf is a bit odd and taboo and not the proper thing to do with breasts! As a society I think we are very keen for children not to be an inconvenience, for them to grow up quickly, for them to be able to stay with other people as soon as possible, take a bottle asap etc. I don't intend to feed DD for years and years but when it gives her comfort, nutrition and boosts her immune system I am happy to carry on longer. I just think it is a shame that the benefits aren't publicised much and that something which scientists agree is a good thing is seen as a bad thing by so many.

Popular Re scientific support- previous posters have commented that there is no nutritional benefit to BF beyond 1 when research overwhelmingly concludes that the benefits for the child continue. That was the issue that people have asked for research/evidence for.

And would your suggestion therefore be that we just ignore the WHO guidelines because people are sick of seeing them? I'm glad people keep mentioning them otherwise how are relatively new BF mums meant to know about them? They helped me a lot, in conjunction with lots of other research, to know that I was doing what was best for my child by continuing to BF past 1.

teaandbiscuits I'm not arguing that there are not health benefits for continuing. I know there are, but they are marginal in the grand scheme of things. The statistics are misunderstood by many, when other things in ones lifestyle would be of greater benefit on you and your child's health than extending breastfeeding (healthy BMI, exercise, reducing stress). Breastfeeding is not the panacea for all that ails and should not be foisted on non-breastfeeding mothers for that reason.

I think it's great that people are happy to continue but I weighed up the scientific evidence against the impact it was having on my life (lack of sleep, returning to work, no personal freedom). So stopping earlier (6 months) was the right thing to do, for me. The best thing for my baby was a good night's sleep and a happy mother.

Of course not ignore them, but interpret them critically and logically. They are called guidelines for a reason, they are not rules. And they are most relevant to poor countries, not Western Europe where we have access to good nutrition and sanitation.

BF shaming post

how!! I answered the OP about why "people" are weird about it. I even said the attitude in the UK is weird on this compared to other EU countries.

but your aggressive lactivist views are pretty telling too TBH

Why is it that some people become critical after a year of bf?

Because they're ignorant.

And how do I explain the continued benefits that are making me stick with it without offending family members who didn't bf?

You don't. You don't have to justify your choices. If you must, you could mention that current World Heath Organisation advice is to bf (as the child wishes) until 2yrs or beyond.

Or you could just answer with "because we want to"

Op love with respect you need to develop a thicker skin.

Ignore smile and nod.

Everyone has a view on everyone else's parenting and some are twattish enough to share it.

Ignore them

Or you could just answer with "because we want to"

baconandeggies that is the crux of the matter. Women choose to continue bf because they want to. If women were honest with themselves they'd admit that it;s not because of WHO or various health benefits. It's because they enjoy the connection, feeling they can provide something no one else can etc.

And there's nothing wrong with that. If people are judgy about it, eff them. But please don't spout the WHO, it makes me cringe.

Once you get over the age of 2, people stop asking in my experience.

Popularcontrarian hmm, I see what you mean... MIL would never accept 'research' as part of an answer as she thought I shouldn't do what 'the books' said. It was at this point I smiled and said "it works for us"

This was when she couldn't understand why we didn't use formula at night because night time breastmilk is unsuitable

Popular- I don't think you can tell all women who bf why they do it. Plenty of women continue to breastfeed through pain, infections, sleepless nights etc because they truly believe that the benefits to their child outweigh the benefits they would get as a mother from weaning. I had times where I hated bf because I couldn't share the sleepless nights with DH, I couldn't have a glass of wine and switch off for the evening and just felt constantly "on duty" in a way that I wouldn't have if I had been able to leave DD with someone else. Having got through that I do enjoy the ease of feeding DD when she wakes up really early or needs comforting but my primary reason for continuing is that I know it would upset her to wean and I don't want to put her through weaning earlier than she is ready when it has so many benefits to her health and well-being. If someone told me I could wean her tomorrow and she would be happy to give it up, and could get everything she currently gets from breast milk from something else then I would gladly wean, have a big glass of wine and let DP deal with the night wakings. As it is she will scream for me and won't be consoled by anything but bf!

Stop You said that for most people, seeing somebody feed beyond a small baby makes them feel uncomfortable. That opinion isn't supposed to make mothers who BF older babies and toddlers feel ashamed?

And I assume you're using the term 'lactivist' as some kind of insult? If by that you mean that I BF my child and I replied when BF mums are given incorrect advice rather than being signposted to places of support, then maybe you're right.

Popular I continued to BF because my DD wanted to. But being able to find a range of sources (WHO, scientific evidence of the benefits (however marginal you might think they are), thousands of other mothers around the world who continue to BF into toddlerhood) DID help me to know that I was doing the right thing in MY situation. I did use the WHO recommendations and don't think they should be written off because they don't suit everybody's circumstances.

Your username is ironic lazyjournalists as I'm starting to question whether you've actually read any of the studies and what the implications and meanings behind these statistics are. You're starting to sound like a bit of a martyr to the cause. As I said previously, in the grand scheme of your child's health, the benefits past a year are negligible.

And as for not having any wine, you do know it's possible to have a drink and breastfeed at the same time? There are studies on this as well.