To ask why some people are critical of breastfeeding past a year?

[LazyJournalistsShouldPissOff]

I have a 15 month old DD who still breastfeeds in the morning, and for comfort at other times as needed, for example when teething. Fwiw, I never "preach" about bf, DD also had formula at times, nor do I bf in front of anyone except DH these days as most of the time DD is happy to go all day without it. However, family members do ask me if I'm still feeding. Up to DD's first birthday most people were supportive of me bf (with a few exceptions) and said what a good start I had given her. Since then I have had the same people asking again, then on hearing I'm still bf start telling DD she needs to grow up, she's too old for it etc. She doesn't understand, but I find it really uncomfortable as clearly the comments are aimed at me.
I never intended to bf this long but I honestly think DD would be distraught if we stopped now, and there are so many benefits to her health that if it wasn't for the criticism I would feel happy to carry on for longer. However, knowing that family think it's odd makes me feel bad about it, even though rationally I know that it's really good for her! I started defending why I still bf in as diplomatic a way as I could but it's hard because I really don't want to offend anyone or make out I'm a better mum or anything like that and I know my MIL in particular sees the mere act of bf as a criticism of her because she didn't do it, as if me bf is to spite her. Anything I say will be used to bitch about me, as though I'm demonising formula. Even though we did use formula sometimes! But when people are critical of something that's actually really good for my DD I do want to defend my choice because I don't see how they could argue with science!
Why is it that some people become critical after a year of bf? And how do I explain the continued benefits that are making me stick with it without offending family members who didn't bf?

She did talk to me about "getting my breasts back". I'm still not sure what that meant - they're not lactating now but they're still just sitting there in a bra, same as always.

Trifle again you're missing th point. I think collectively we have established the nutritional needs of a one year old can be met through several methods - food and animals milk, breast milk or water. The point is that we don't breastfeed past a year solely for nutritional reasons. It's pretty cool that the baby passes pathogens to the mother to let her body know what his/her milk needs to boost his/her immune system at that specific time. It's also pretty cool that when you're toddler is completely loosing their shit, you can sit them on your knee and give them some boobie and they calm down.

It was also amazing when my DD (ironically) had food poisoning when she was 15months and we were sat in A&E at 3am, she had a fever, not eating or drinking, having frequent D&V and yet would still have the boob, I was so grateful when the doctor told us that as long as she was still taking the breast they wouldn't have to insert an IV.

Open your mind Trifle as I think it was really unfair to accuse Tired of suggesting breast is best, as she didn't. As many of us here are trying to do, she is simply citing her personal experiences. Something I've yet to hear you do. You are the only person preventing your own ideas as "fact". Which urges me towards the conclusion that the only person who is judging anyone and carrying around any baggage is you.

Because idiotic people sexualise it.

Rocking: You are so funny! The one point I have repeatedly made (and been contradicted on) is now point we have 'collectively established', conveniently allowing you to segue into the rest of your arguments, none of which I care tuppence about! 😂 I don't mind how other people choose to feed their babies.

• presenting [sigh]

Rocking but in the same vein when my toddler is upset I calm him down with his favourite teddy, a cuddle and some singing. He stops crying immediately.

Similarly re A&E, we were in recently and also off food, fever etc but would take a bottle which also meant he was kept off iv fluids.

Great that you use boob for those purposes if it works for you but it's not to say there aren't other ways to achieving these things.

why some people are critical of breastfeeding past a year?

To answer the question, I think we are told to stop babying our children by their first birthday. If a child is FF, they are advised to stop bottles and dummies at 1. If a FF baby doesn't need it then why should a BF baby need it.

I understand the benefits of continuing to feed but I think that this is at the core of any issue people may have. It is frowned upon the same way that people frown upon a dummy being used by a toddler.

If you read the latest research, there are health benefits to the child of continuing breastfeeding past 1. My DS is susceptible to ear infections and they definitely got worse after he self weaned at about 18 months (I was pregnant with no 2).

With my MIL I told her that it felt cruel to stop something he got so much enjoyment out of given i didn't mind that much. It seemed to stop the comments from her. I did stop mentioning it to other people unless directly asked once he was past 1 though, I definitely got the vibe that people think it's weird!

I understand the benefits of continuing to feed but I think that this is at the core of any issue people may have. It is frowned upon the same way that people frown upon a dummy being used by a toddler.

This ^^ I'm choosing to continue to give my toddler a bottle during the day as he loves it, takes great comfort in it and he's only going to be a baby for such a short time- why stop?!

Ditto with bf, I can see why people want to continue (as I said previously, though not for me) but there'll always be people who judge

You coulda fooled me. As we are all on the thread. You were obviously included in the "collective" although again I fear you miss the point, as nobody denied that nutritionally the needs of a one year old couldn't be met with formula. The complexities of BF mean that it is simply more than nutrition and no guidelines or referring to the NHS website about nutrition will make it any more simple to understand for you - you just don't get it.

Yes, someone did, Rocking - Witsender. That is why I made the point repeatedly. You have somehow managed to infer an anti-breastfeeding stance from what I said but that is entirely wrong. I don't care if people choose to breastfeed past one, only that they offer the courtesy to others of accepting that this is a choice, as toddlers will thrive with or without it.

Absolutely Popular you do what you can and for those of us that can, BF is a godsend. My now 3yo DS is more than happy with a hot chocolate and a cuddle and if we were in A&E now I'd have to find a different way through that scary experience. I mentioned our A&E experience to highlight that I wasn't BF for nutritional reasons past a year, (although they exist) it worked for us to BF for a multitude of other reasons.

It's not about wether they thrive or not - it's about what works for mothers and babies. What we did worked for us and by the sound of things Trifle what you did worked for you and left you

About other ppls choices

I have now said to you three times at least that I am very happy for others to make their own choices. What have I said that makes you doubt that, Rocking?

I think that there is something about seeing a small human being (as opposed to a mewling infant) being breastfed that makes some people feel intrinsically uncomfortable

I do get a bit tired of the strong opinions of these threads, and advise you get it off your MIL's radar and only do morning/evening feeds - when she is not around to stress you!

and agree fucking tired of seeing WHO guidelines, its the only time they are relevant when people want to protect EBF! wonder what they say about wine drinking....

You're quite goady Trifle in a nutshell, and I feel these threads are so emotive especially for new mums, that you should approach them with more sensitivity. The OP is BF past a year after all and her difficulties are linked to the opinions of others she's having to deal with because of her choice to continue to do so. Your comments have hardly made her feel any better have they?

Right. Now you have no point, only that I am insensitive? The OP asked a question. I attempted an answer. I have consistently maintained my support for her right to feed her child however she wants to, but suddenly - perhaps because I don't agree with you that your way is better than every other way? - I am 'insensitive'. Hmm. Perhaps you need to examine your own reactions more closely.

*Stop
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'I think that there is something about seeing a small human being (as opposed to a mewling infant) being breastfed that makes some people feel intrinsically uncomfortable'

Why?? Because society has deemed it abnormal?

As for people being fed up of the WHO guidelines, thank goodness they have produced these guidelines otherwise BF mothers who want to continue past 1 would have nothing to back up their instincts. If you don't want to BF at all/past 1/whatever, then they're not for you. They've not been published to make you feel bad; that's your own feelings on the topic.

I don't understand why a post looking for pro-BF support can be derailed by people who have issues around being judged for the length of time you did/didn't BF for. Surely this isn't the thread for you?

teaandbiscuitsforme

dont get pissy with me, OP asked a question, I answered with my opinion. I don't give a shit about EBF, England are just a bit weird about it. Italy (half Italian) has a far more relaxed relationship to it.

and its true, the only time WHO ever ever gets quoted is on this issue. no one gives a shit what they have to say the rest of the time.

Oh I don't know, Stopfucking - I give quite a large shit about the WHO's recommendations to reduce daily sugar intake, and the fact that when they first made their suggestions, the sugar companies lobbied the USA govt to have all funding to the WHO cut. Didn't happen, but y'know.

I could have written your post OP. I always tell myself - right now it's uncomfortable to listen to people being negative but in 5, 10 years time I won't give a f but I'll be happy that I did what I felt was right for my family.

An acquaintance of mine is still breastfeeding her children at 4 and 6 years. I guess if the milk is still coming then it must still be needed? I don't really know or care about any guidelines though, whatever works for those involved is fine by me.

Absolutely Tea 👏🏼

Stop Getting pissy with you? Because I disagreed with your BF shaming post in reply to a poster looking for BF support and reassurance?