BEST FRIEND TRIED IT WITH BOYFRIEND

[lithium3]

So after giving birth to DS 4 months ago I was out this weekend for the first time. I invited my best friend as she was having a rough time with her DP (she has two little boys with him) to come along with me and my DP to later meet up with a few of my other friends.

After a few beers it was clear that she was quite drunk and we headed to the club. I went to the toilet and came down to DP telling me that she had tried to kiss him. I put it down to just been drunk and falling around and DP misreading the situation (surely my best friend wouldn't do that). However, DP came over again and told me to get her away from him as she kept trying to kiss him.. So I moved her then she did the same to all my male friends including one who had a girlfriend which she met earlier that evening. I felt so embarrassed by her, all of them felt so awkward.

In the end she ended up finding a man that actually kissed her back and she stayed with him the remainder of the night until it was 3am and me and DP wanted to go home yet she refused to come with us so we left her with this man.

We have spoke since but she hasn't mentioned anything about it, she apologised to me and DP for 'being a dick' over text.

DP absolutely adored this girl before all this and loved her two little boys but now he feels so awkward and keeps telling me to speak to her about it as it was so unacceptable for her to do that. I agree with him but I really don't know how to address the situation, in my mind I'm just putting it down to her being so drunk she didn't know what she was doing but then another part of me thinks that she did know.

I don't know what to do, she is my best friend that I turn to for everything. How should I address it? Am I being too laid back? Just need an outsiders opinion..

A couple more have appeared latterly, Navy (thanks you guys, your fiver is in the post). But certainly at the beginning of this thread the loudest voices were of the "disgraceful...stone the bitch. ..your poor dp...reverse the sexes" persuasion

Banana..you reversed the reversing so many times there your post is actually nonsensical

That is some feat with such limited space. Impressive.

I think I would tell her she made a monumental twat of herself. My dh would feel sorry for her, but tell her the same.

Going forward would support her as long as it didn't happen again.

Poor woman clearly the demon drink has unearthed some serious problems. Please don't be too harsh on her this doesn't seem to me anything like her normal behaviour;(

IDon't be silly. I'm sure if a man was too drunk to know what he was doing and was having a hard time at home so he had t go round sexually assaulting people (including the partners of his friends) he'd get a lot of sympathy.

And if it was a male friend well same response.

It was a drunken flirt from a friend in a bad place.

Seriously people would ditch a best Mate in a bad place over one stupid mistake?

I'd be interested (and I mean that genuinely) to know why pointing out what she did was unacceptable is 'shaming' or even 'slut shaming' her?

This, so OP is not shaming her friend but instead asking for opinion, not judgement.

Where has anyone said anything remotely like stone the bitch??

Am I reading a different thread here?

Most people have actually said, give her a break, she was hammered, she's probably really unhappy.

A few have said she was a bit of a twat, and on hearing the op say that the woman tends to think a pun of herself around men, have said this could be offputting, but I've certainly not seen anything that could be interpreted as looking to stone her.

And of course a woman going around randomly snogging people wouldn't just be doing it to be a prick like a man might. There must be some serious problem that she needs support with.

So, let's summarise.

How many people have been harmed by this unfortunate evening ?

How many people are in a worse position than they were before it ?

The upset boyfriend ? Nah.

The put upon girlfriend (op) ? Nah. Unless you count the caning her ears have taken from the upset bf

The other sexually assaulted men and their bystanding female partners ? Nah.

The woman who was already in a bad place, got pissed, made a fool of herself and who is now, along with her children, some sort of social pariah cast out of the group of "best friends"

Would anybody like to take a guess which person I would be making it my business to know was OK ?

I've been in bad places greengoddess but I haven't used it as an excuse to treat my friends like shit.

Serious question AF if this were a man what would your response have been?

Echoing this... AF, why won't you answer?!

You seem to be happy attacking others who dare disagree, whilst swerving hard questions which show the weakness of your position. You seem to be doing a good impression of a female Trump!

I wouldn't be 'damaged' if someone repeatedly kissed me when I didn't want them to. Doesn't mean they would deserve any sympathy for forcing themselves on me. Having a rough time with your dp doesn't = no longer responsible for own behaviour.

Who would you be making a beeline for to check they were OK, Navy ?

I'd be upset by this too OP but I think in the cold light of day I'd see it for what it was - the drunken behaviour of someone very unhappy.

I do think your DP has a right to feel a bit uncomfortable, and voice that, but my primary concern would be making sure my mate was taking steps to address whatever was making her behave in such a way.

I'd probably go round and see her and explain how you feel about it, see what she says and take it from there.

Supportive female friendships - as you've said this one has been in the past - are so important and in my opinion there's not much worth losing one over, if it can be avoided.

AF The other sexually assaulted men and their bystanding female partners ? Nah.

Blinkered much?

I'd be making a beeline for the 'friend' to ask them what the fuck they thought they were doing.

Ah, so it's not ok to be upset at being sexually harassed/assaulted if you're in a public place, and in no actual 'danger' , and you know the person doing it. I see. Oh, and they're drunk (but not so drunk that they can't stay and party on with a random hook up).

All the women on mumsnet who have been put in that position now by some drunken lech should be informed of this toot suite.

Any Fucker your attitude in this thread is disgusting.

Navy, why are so interested in what would be my personal response to a man getting pissed and trying to publically snog all the women in a friendship group ?

You rubbished my opinion on this thread when I gave my account of how I would react to my own best friend and my own husband behaving in this way

But now you are very interested in the reversal ? Really.

AF, I usually have a lot of respect for your opinions, and we've disagreed on things before (and agreed loads of times), but you've totally lost me with your opinions on this thread. Not to mention you've completely ignored everything I've asked you.

Would love to know how the supportive conversation would go as well...'I was so sorry to see that you ave been having such a hard time that you had to try it on several times with my dp. Please let me know what I can do to help you at this awful time.'
The friend has already taken the piss out of the op - how much of a doormat do you want her to be?