BEST FRIEND TRIED IT WITH BOYFRIEND

[lithium3]

So after giving birth to DS 4 months ago I was out this weekend for the first time. I invited my best friend as she was having a rough time with her DP (she has two little boys with him) to come along with me and my DP to later meet up with a few of my other friends.

After a few beers it was clear that she was quite drunk and we headed to the club. I went to the toilet and came down to DP telling me that she had tried to kiss him. I put it down to just been drunk and falling around and DP misreading the situation (surely my best friend wouldn't do that). However, DP came over again and told me to get her away from him as she kept trying to kiss him.. So I moved her then she did the same to all my male friends including one who had a girlfriend which she met earlier that evening. I felt so embarrassed by her, all of them felt so awkward.

In the end she ended up finding a man that actually kissed her back and she stayed with him the remainder of the night until it was 3am and me and DP wanted to go home yet she refused to come with us so we left her with this man.

We have spoke since but she hasn't mentioned anything about it, she apologised to me and DP for 'being a dick' over text.

DP absolutely adored this girl before all this and loved her two little boys but now he feels so awkward and keeps telling me to speak to her about it as it was so unacceptable for her to do that. I agree with him but I really don't know how to address the situation, in my mind I'm just putting it down to her being so drunk she didn't know what she was doing but then another part of me thinks that she did know.

I don't know what to do, she is my best friend that I turn to for everything. How should I address it? Am I being too laid back? Just need an outsiders opinion..

I agree with Any Fucker actually I had a friend with a drink problem and when she got drunk she did the most awful inappropriate things to men - friends etc...

She's now dead. CS.

Talk to your friend, OP.

Friend acted like a but if a twat.

Your husband gets the blame

I completely agree with AF. She was hammered and didn't know wtf she was doing except she felt shit about her relationship and wanted male attention to validate herself. Awful behaviour when sober but have she was incredibly drunk. I would expect a good friend to remove her from the situation, make sure she got home ok, checked on her the next day and then been there for her during her crappy time.

She didn't TRY IT with YOUR BOYFRIEND, she didn't give a crap who it was. Your DP thinks very highly of himself if he'll ruin his friendship with her and her children over that.

Does it sound like this is usual behaviour from her ?

Bearing in mind op calls her a "best friend"

not enough info to comment about her state of well being.

She got so drunk she went around every man she could and tried to kiss them. That sounds very very drunk to me. People only get that drunk and behave like that if they're very unhappy.

Well... you knew she was going through a tough time and it was clear she was drunk.

I would try and see it from her pov. She obviously feels embarrassed and has apologised.

Also... I would never have left my friend with some random at 3am!

Had this woman been sober or only had a couple of drinks and tried it on with only your husband, then yes, I'd be pissed off too.

But it sounds like she was wasted, bouncing from man to man. In this scenario I would be taking care of her and removing from the situation. I would not remotely annoyed by it.

Some people are really, really invested in shaming women aren't they ?

They prefer to listen to some bloke whining about how he was "sexually assaulted" in a public place, in absolutely no danger, along with all the other males in the party, in full view of all their friends and is now insisting that his girlfriend "call her out" on it

And this is somehow comparable to sexual assault on women

Pointing this out is "disgraceful" ?

Maybe this group of "best friends" should stone the bitch

Anyfucker much as I respect your views used to love her two children? That is not what OP said.

If this was a male friend of your partner who tried to snog you, would you be told to get a grip and get over yourself?

Tell her to sort herself out, and she needs to give your DP a better apology.
It is totally unnaceptable,. its not shaming her, and its awkward for men to deal with. If they push her off it can get out of hand very fast, then they are lavbelled violent.

Op is sitting back and watching the fun, of course

Nothing like a tasty bit of slut shaming on a dull Monday evening

AF, I think you're being a bit disingenuous here with the reversed sexes asshattery comment. If a drunk male member of the group was groping and kissing all the females forcefully, in my experience, you'd be the first to jump all over him and label him as lecherous and abusive. Just because this person was female doesn't make what she did any less lecherous or harassing.

She probably is embarrassed and ashamed of herself, but so she should well be!

Also I've had a friend get drunk and attach herself to a random at 03:00. Other than physically drag her (which I would probably have had limited success with anyway), there was no way I was getting her to come home with me. I took the rego of the cab they left in and made sure she had plenty of money to get home. Sadly that's where my responsibility ended. She was an adult and I couldn't babysit her.

So a guy has no right to state he doesn't want to be kissed?

If he dies he's 'whining about being sexually assaulted'?

Mistletoe I know and that's to last thing I want as she is such a valued friend when sober! Yeah that is a good way to address it. Thankyou!

Bacon we tried before we headed to the club but she was having none of it adamant that she was fine and walking there she did seem alright. I do want to be there for her and that's why I'm hesitant to say anything and just make sure that everything's okay with her.

Navy no she's fine when sober, but she does have a tendency to think that everyone fancies her/ comes onto her.

Anyfucker I think he's just thinking about me when it comes to confronting it because I've had so many friends fuck me over in the past and I let it go without saying anything, and wants me to grow a backbone and not let it happen.. He still loves her little boys it was just bad wording sorry!

KnittingPearl that's what I'm thinking about it, I think my DP just wants to make sure that it was a drunken thing and clear the air so it's not awkward. She doesn't go out much and I've never seen her drink at home so don't think that's an issue.

Op used the past tense

Used to adore this girl

Loved her two little boys

It's there in black and white

Anyfucker

I think you're being charitable about this woman, and that's not a bad thing. She's clearly doesn't seem in a good place.

However, would you be same if the roles were reversed?

So meet up, thank her for apology, say you were disappointed in her behaviour, ask her why she thinks it happened... Go from there.

*Op used the past tense

Used to adore this girl

Loved her two little boys

It's there in black and white*

OP has said she worded it badly.

I honestly don't see any 'slut shaming' going on here.