BEST FRIEND TRIED IT WITH BOYFRIEND

[lithium3]

So after giving birth to DS 4 months ago I was out this weekend for the first time. I invited my best friend as she was having a rough time with her DP (she has two little boys with him) to come along with me and my DP to later meet up with a few of my other friends.

After a few beers it was clear that she was quite drunk and we headed to the club. I went to the toilet and came down to DP telling me that she had tried to kiss him. I put it down to just been drunk and falling around and DP misreading the situation (surely my best friend wouldn't do that). However, DP came over again and told me to get her away from him as she kept trying to kiss him.. So I moved her then she did the same to all my male friends including one who had a girlfriend which she met earlier that evening. I felt so embarrassed by her, all of them felt so awkward.

In the end she ended up finding a man that actually kissed her back and she stayed with him the remainder of the night until it was 3am and me and DP wanted to go home yet she refused to come with us so we left her with this man.

We have spoke since but she hasn't mentioned anything about it, she apologised to me and DP for 'being a dick' over text.

DP absolutely adored this girl before all this and loved her two little boys but now he feels so awkward and keeps telling me to speak to her about it as it was so unacceptable for her to do that. I agree with him but I really don't know how to address the situation, in my mind I'm just putting it down to her being so drunk she didn't know what she was doing but then another part of me thinks that she did know.

I don't know what to do, she is my best friend that I turn to for everything. How should I address it? Am I being too laid back? Just need an outsiders opinion..

I think a lot of people can behave stupidly when drunk. But that only works as an excuse if you swear of alcohol for a good long period of time afterwards.

She is your friend, OP, and as you say she is your best friend, you are in the best position to say whether she normally has a bad reaction to alcohol and how sorry she feels now.

And would everyone please stop getting after another poster. AF has her own viewpoint, nobody has to agree with her and it is valid to argue the point. But a lot of people are acting as if they have a personal beef, which is a bit weird to say the least.

Not for a wilting lettuce of s DP/BF who made something out of nothing.

FFS

Not for a wilting lettuce of s DP/BF who made something out of nothing
How the actual fuck is the DP a wilting lettuce as he refused her (repeated) advances?!
Are men supposed to secretly enjoy it and if they don't want sexual attention foisted on them they're presumed wet?!
Unbelievable.

This lady and her DP had a 4 month old baby at home and yet the BF continuously tried to get off with her husband despite his protests until the wife had to remove her away from him.

Many posters have said that it is not interchangeable with the opposite sex but do you really think that this reads ok?

My girlfriend and I have a 4 month old baby and tonight I invited my best friend to go out for a drink with us. He has been having a hard time lately with his partner and she is at home with his two boys tonight. My friend became far too pissed and started kissing my girlfriend whilst I was not present and despite her protests continued to do so.

When my girlfriend came to me asking me to help with the situation I removed him from our immeadiate area, he then directed his attention to all the other women in our group whether they wanted it or not, making them feel awkward and embarrassed.

My GF now wants me to speak to my friend about his behaviour to her.

Some responses:

I think your girlfriend should get over herself.

Direct your attention to your friend and not princess fucking charming.

If my GF snivelled about it like this girl she would be told to get a grip.

Your girlfriend is being a bit of a fanny.

Listening to some girl whining about how she was 'sexually assaulted'

That's only up to 1 1/2 pages and I won't rummage through the rest of the crap.

Not for a wilting lettuce of s DP/BF who made something out of nothing.
Seeing as by some posters there's no double standards going on this thread, you'd say exactly that to a female DP who had unwanted sexual attention repeatedly thrust upon her.
Wilting lettuce, stop making something out of nothing.

Exactly, dutycalls.

dutycalls

Great post. The attitude of AF and those taking a similar line is appalling.

Well maybe she was more coherent than she's letting on as she was with it enough to wait until you went to the toilet before she tried to kiss your DP. That doesn't strike me as someone who doesn't know what she's doing.

Your friend had a degree of knowing what she was doing.
Surround yourself from people who make you feel good. She is not a keeper.

Here's what I'd say....

Hey XXX fancy meeting up for a coffee, I need to chat to you?

I want to know if you're ok? When we went out you got soooo drunk that you tried to kiss DP and that's not ok. You kissed another man. Does DP know this? Is everything ok with you and DP? I'm here to help you with anything I can.

If she then apologises and is shocked and upset you know she's probably being real with you and wants your help. Good luck.

Well said Duty

The first few posts sometimes set the tone of a thread and to begin with this bloke was somehow the one who was in the wrong and the person who harrassed him was the victim

I am pleased to see posters who are not sheep have come on and can see the situation clearly.
One person sexually harassed another. That is wrong. No excuse. The sex of either person does not matter.

This thread is a real eye opener.

AF generally is of the LTB brigade over things I personally would consider minor marital disagreements but each to own.

I think Duty is absolutley spot on and totally agree.

A few weeks ago on radio 5 there was a case of an Asian male bus driver who was being stalked and sexuality assaited by a young woman. It was appalling and she had been jailed but due for release. He was devestated that on first asking the police for help they had called him a 'lucky bastard' and ' she's just a stupid girl man up'

Frightening double standards but you can see how on this thread. Very sexist.

Bubble

Yes and remember some posters meet up in RL so rally round even when their Mate posts absolute bollocks.

Well said Duty

It doesn't actually matter if the friend was male or female IMO they over stepped a massive line and being drunk even very drunk doesn't excuse this.

Green it is the blind following that gets me. No matter what bollocks is spouted some posters will trott behind......like sheep

Anyhow OP if you are still reading common sense has returned to the thread and your DP is not at fault so please continue to support him. Offer friendship to your mate but make it clear she owes some people an apology and this kind of behaviour will not be tolerated.

Agree about the blind following. So odd.

Strawberry you have one male friend a lot shorter than you who you could easily push off you. Do you know that for sure? And even so most men are stronger than most women.

I am not saying he should get a grip. He is right to be upset. Why do we need to reverse the thread to view the man's point of view? We do not. We can understand the man is upset and we can understand this woman was (it seems) acting totally out of character. We can judge the situation in the facts, not invent new ones.

but Italian the reason it is being reversed is because some are seemingly saying he can't be upset and should just get on with it

Italian the post is being reversed because some cannot grasp that unwanted sexual attention can happen when the man is the victim and the one harassing is a women.

Sad but true.

Strawberry you have one male friend a lot shorter than you who you could easily push off you. Do you know that for sure? And even so most men are stronger than most women.
Yes. I do. Not through sexual assault, but we've done wrestling before. (Don't ask lol.) Both competitive and out to win. He's easily "smacked" down."
(Smacked as in overpowered before anyone jumps on that.)
Because I'm a girl, is that not supposed to happen?
Can give as good as I get. Sturdily built and strong with it. Not just this example.
What has physical size got to do with it though? Just because most men are bigger and can push girls off, does NOT mean it's OK.

rawsienna what makes you think women have 'a bad name'? Seriously, is one woman responsible for people's views on all women?