Words and phrases you only hear on Mumsnet

[user1477282676]

"Hacked off"

"Tear him a new one"

I've never heard one person in real life use either of those and to be honest, I'm glad! They're the ugliest phrases ever!

Tear him a new one is particularly disgusting.

AIBU to ask you to share yours? Either things you don't hear in real life or things you hate but only encounter here?

Creepy wee brackets are lovely,if only there was a speech equivalent!
I think lots of these are perfectly normal words. The word I really don't hear in RL is Hubby.I have never met anyone who describes their husband like that,though I realise it isn't a MNism

I've just seen another of my least favourites on another thread - 'grim'. It's always used in relation to something really insignificant too - eg 'using frozen pastry is a bit grim'.

"NC so as not to out myself"
"Ltb"
""Tinkly laugh" (I quite like this one )
"Naice" (I quite like this one too )

And I love "boak"!

The two phrases I have never heard in rl and also find slightly annoying are 'makes me stabby' and 'makes my teeth itch'

Livid

Why is everyone livid? Never ever hear the word except on mn

Two MN favourites:

Me thinks.
If you want a pretentious way of saying 'I think', at least spell it correctly. methinks is one word.

"What fresh hell is this?" was funny when Dorothy Parker said it, now less so.

I wish I had punctuated that correctly.

"Reverse" - at least in the very specialised definition it has on here.

"Has form". I never hear this outside of MN.

I use 'fanjo' irl courtesy of mumsnet. I have taught my daughter to call it that too. I find it a fun word, as 'vagina' is ugly and makes me think of old lady caves whereas 'floof' or 'flower' or 'private parts' etc are too vague.

I've never heard anyone say 'what the actual fuck' or indeed most other phrases used on MN.

'You sound like hard work' - usually flung at some poster who has posted about something many people would find stressful / upsetting / need help with.

'Invite' used as a noun.

The word is invitation!

Makes my teeth itch. (see what I did there?)

Bun fight

"Vile". Everything on MN is vile but I've never heard anybody under 80 use that word in real life.

I use bunfight in RL. Anyone who has been to our PTA meetings would.

I rarely see people stomping about 'livid' in rl. In my mind the average mnetter is a miserable, uptight pain in the arse. With an inept cleaner.

I think MN is doing a great service to public life.

People come on here to rant and tantrum and be "livid" at some perceived sleight. How much more unpleasant would everyday interactions be if you'd be at the receiving end of these tantrums? Imagine parking in the wrong spot/ wearing the wrong thing/ being rich or on benefits and people telling you what they think! Better they go on AIBU ranting about it.

I use 'vile' where appropriate and I'm not yet 80. It's a very useful word.

Very true pax! It's saying what you want to but wouldn't dare.

I saw someone use the word "sups" the other way, I believe to describe eating.

It got widely ridiculed, which was perhaps a little undeserved, but if you write such colloquialisms/dialect on a national forum I suppose you have to expect it to be pointed out!

Boomer - why is fanjo less vague than floof?

Spiteful/horrid
ODFOD
Grabby
NC
Fanjo

But the worse offenders are the bloody and the "This won't end well"

*worst

Words and phrases I use in RL: horrid, patriarchy, vulva, bad form, vile, beyond rude, not my circus, not my monkeys, bridezilla.

Those I've only heard on MN: fanjo, boak, boils my piss, naice (I still don't really understand how it's different from 'nice' because it doesn't always seem to be used sarcastically ), ODFOD (although I wish I could use this one in RL sometimes!), norks, sanpro, judgy pants.

I dunno, Tartlett. I suppose it's because when I say the word 'fanjo' people take only a few seconds to work it out without an explanation needed, but then I've never actually said 'floof' so maybe that's the same.

Flange, fangina, minge, fanjo... all are horrible words really if I think about it, but 'floof' sounds like... I'm absolutely shit at explaining myself... like it's something that shouldn't be referred to in public by it's proper name i.e. vagina because it's somehow not acceptable and yet the word 'vagina' sounds too clinical. same as I wouldn't call a burst eardrum a timpanic membrane rupture..