Words and phrases you only hear on Mumsnet

[user1477282676]

"Hacked off"

"Tear him a new one"

I've never heard one person in real life use either of those and to be honest, I'm glad! They're the ugliest phrases ever!

Tear him a new one is particularly disgusting.

AIBU to ask you to share yours? Either things you don't hear in real life or things you hate but only encounter here?

'Vitriolic'

I'm not one for words so this may be common in RL, but I never heard it before MN and haven't heard anyone say it in RL

Also 'give your head a wobble' which I kinda like and I'm waiting for a perfect opportunity in RL to use it.

I say vitriolic, hideous, patriarchy, toxic and hacked off

My hates:

"Hand me a grip" - the phrase is get a grip, it means get a hold - a grip isn't something that can be moved from place to place!

"Did you mean to be so rude" - I don't get why this is considered a smart response to anything.

Overuse of "cunt" in wannabe daring way. I don't have any female friends who use this word in conversation.

CIS

Never heard it in real life. I'm still not sure what it means. It sounds like something daft that's made up.

"Good egg" I don't think I'd ever seen it outside of a Mallory Towers book. Let's go the whole hog, and refer to people who please us immensely as a "brick". 😂

And 'horrid' - it sounds very Enid Blyton

I also love the current MN obsession with protein.
On any food related thread it's guaranteed that within approx. five posts somebody will chip in "you need more protein to keep you fuller".

'Disingenuous' isn't being used as frequently now. It was being thrown around like holy water at a christening a while back. Still pops up every so often. Never hear it in real life.

Yes, horrid! I always imagine it being said in a whiney baby voice.

I use bad form in real life. It's a normal turn of phrase. I'm not British but am a native speaker.

Sanpro and labelling difficult relatives as "narcs" is awful.

I love the word 'horrid'.

Agree to the over use of the c word and NT (Had to Google that one! ) No one in RL says "my child is NT"!

'Over-invested'. Every bugger is 'over-invested' apparently. I think people are over-invested in over-investment...

The forced use of abbreviations to the point that a post is incomprehensible. One woman was asking about an argument her DBF had been having with his BF the other day. I thought she was dating and adulterous bisexual until I realised the second BF was 'best friend'.

Vile

Boak

DEAR husband/wife/child/daughter/son/mother/father/sister/brother...uncle/aunt/cousin/friend/milkman/sister's friend's mum's aunt...

Oh and PIV.

"I suggest" in a pompous, holier than thou voice, something like "I suggest you go back and read my link again!"

Who the fuck speaks like that in the real world?

HateSummer prepare to be told 'dear has been around since the stone age, it's not a MN thing', to excuse the awful twee-ness of it all.

What exactly does 'tear him a new one' mean?
Tear what? Face, bum?
I have only ever seen it on here and have no intention of using it, even when I find out its meanng.

Oh yes Cis, wtf does that mean, gender fluid

Cats bum face, NT

Tear someone a new arse hole. It's a gross expression.

Cis refers to someone who identifies as the same sex they were born (so opposite of trans)

It's incredibly offensive to many people

I was going to say cis as well but I see someone beat me to it.

Sanpro, everyone that I know calls it by name,Tampax/Sanitarytowels/mooncup.
Nc, most people just say my grandad who I don't see.
DDog/dcat.
The far side of fuck & did you mean to be so rude. Nonsense. I've always hoped there would be a thread where someone comes in to say it didn't work. Along the lines of aibu to feel humiliated by my colleague,she was really awful to me in a meeting & I said did you mean to be so rude? I even did the head tilt, she said yes you thicko.
The two that really fuck me off are discuss & dear reader.
I call people arses. I do not want to rip them a new one. Is it meaning they are full of shit?! Never heard it in rl. It sounds so graphically grim.

"Going no contact".

Never heard it put that way outside of Mumsnet!

Ive heard of Going NC before on that awful Baggage Reclaim website which is over trotted out on here too.

Some good articles but most of the website is her saying the same thing shuffled in a slightly different order.

Most of the mumsnet lingo sounds odd to me (esp stuff like 'go NC' or 'cocklodger') but I have never worked out whether it is a mumsnet thing or a parents thing as I don't really know that many parents despite having 4 kids.