Words and phrases you only hear on Mumsnet

[user1477282676]

"Hacked off"

"Tear him a new one"

I've never heard one person in real life use either of those and to be honest, I'm glad! They're the ugliest phrases ever!

Tear him a new one is particularly disgusting.

AIBU to ask you to share yours? Either things you don't hear in real life or things you hate but only encounter here?

Cocklodger (as only men can take advantage on MN)

The phrase "my husband couldn't do his job without me", not something I'd want to brag about to be honest given he's an adult

LTB for every little thing rather than talk like adults

The children are getting an orange and chocolate coin this Christmas

I'd never heard ThunderCunt until mumsnet. I love it

It was used in the film Spy recently, the main character had wrote it in a email to someone and got a bollocking. That tickled me.

"Give your head a wobble" is something I've only ever seen on MN. Really irritating phrase.
"Go no contact" is another one. It doesn't make grammatical sense at all.

Judgey pants

Boak

Both silly phrases!

Oh the twatty extension of swear words like cuntbadger - so fucking twee. Like putting asterisks in swear words as well.

Hubby IS twee, like 'lil man' 'bubs' 'small person' etc.

Ooh and if someone is struggling 'get a cleaner' 'can you get an au pair' etc

Big girl pants
The ladies' (room)... I can't stand that word. I luckily only encounter it her... Just reading it makes me cringe. (Unless it's from Americans. In that case I don't care.)

*here

Oh and "boils my piss". Gross. Have never seen or read that anywhere other than MN.

So you'd never ask a waiter where the Ladies' is in a restaurant Spunky?

I see people say "It's fucking kafkaesque" lots.

I wonder how many of them have actually read any of Kafka's work.

Boils my piss is hideous. Is hideous one as well?

Boak Scottish people use it all the time as in 'it gives me the dry boak'

Wow. Just wow.

This saying makes me want to be violent.

'Are you worried he's going to catch the gays?'

Oh dear god. There are no words that describe how that sentence enrages me. Do people actually think it's funny? If someone said that to me in RL I think I would think 'you twat' .

I have a particular loathing for "Wow. Just, wow" and variations thereof. Especially "Wow. Just....wow". It's used by people who like to pretend that they find someone's comment so beyond the pale that they're lost for words. The irony being that it's usually in reaction to something rather innocuous.

More than a florist.
They secretly do my head in.
writing everything like this

I want to start an alternative names thread on
Loondy Bincrotch

The biscuit thing grinds my gears

And so does the phrase 'grinds my gears'.

Naice

Give your head a wobble

Im agog

Naice

Hoist up your judgy pants

Pearl clutching

Upduffed! I hate that expression!

dame

No, I don't. Just thinking about it... that poor waiter

I'm going non-contact with [insert name of offender]

Cook from scratch - that's just cooking innit?

'Unmumsnetty hugs' oh just fuck offfffff!!!!

spunky

I see 'I am known for' on here a lot and it irrationally pisses me off.
'I am known for buying 40 loo rolls at once..'

'Who's Perry again?' 'You know Perry...Perry, surname Hatter...' 'No...' 'Buys 40 loo rolls at once Perry?' 'Oh THAT Perry...yeah she's amazing'

I hate it on here when people say "no" after a question, it makes me so angry .