to expect my SIL to keep her ds at table while my dd is still eating ?

[PoppyPie]

Otherwise she naturally wants to get down too and she hasn't eaten anything.My SIL just didn't bother while her DS of 4 went off with DD's games and it messed up the entire dinner.

I think there is a difference between having a family meal where conversations about the day just gone, events to happens, what was seen at the park etc is very very different to sitting still and quiet till everyone is done.

Why should sitting at the table be torture, our meal times are fun (usually).

Thats fine for children that are enjoying their meals I am talking about parents who put a great deal of pressure on kids and then expect them to sit nice and eat it all up. Some parents get very uptight about meals and can make children feel very uncomfortable about the whole thing hence eating problems.

Hillary, your DD's 2.5 though.

Listen, there are table manners & then there is just plain picky. She has already said she dislikes her nephew [so sad] so this thread never really was about table manners.

My 4 year old ds is a shite eater. Will not sit still for 5 minutes to eat a meal, will use any distraciion possible to get dopwn/stop eating/go to bathroom etc.

I would have to strap him to chair for him to wait till everyone had finished.

I do bloody cart wheels if he eats half of his dinner....

Different strokes, different expectations and all that.

Message withdrawn

Cod, we DO eat as a family.

It's just me swinging my legs and going "Can I get down now?" while the boys snarf their way through three courses.

Do you not think we have tried to teach him?

He is fucking unteachable when it comes to this I tell you.

SIL probably does think that, fair enough.

"the child".

reminds me of when we went to look at a house once, we were shown into the second bedroom and the vender said "this is the boy's room". I found that utterly bizarre. room was decorated in football style etc and just figured he was prob teen or something but why "the boy"?

I met him some months later. he was 17 and a buss driver.

Ahh a nice Fray Bentos in front of the telly, those were the days...

If my ds or dss does not like the food placed in front of them then they know that nothing will be said but nothing more will be offered. But they are still included in the conversations and wait until everyone has eaten, therefore no issues about food but still having a family time.

Its only torture if you make it, I love mealtimes, as I said we are relaxed and still mange to sit at a table for most meals together.

I am refering more to those who don't seem to take attention spans into consideration and think endurance sessions at the table show good manners and anyone who lets their child leave the table before every last adult are breeding unrespectful badly behaved neds.

Yes hunkermunker she'l be 3 soon but she's always ate at the table from being in a highchair.

I don't think eating at a dinner table and showing table manners is any more a way of creating a child with eating problems than a child eating in front of the tv.

Message withdrawn

I digress, but we got our kitten from an old woman who lived on a farm. When we got their she had to call her son, so she called up the stairs 'BIG SON'

And down came big son (he was in his 50's) and through out the conversation she called him big son.

Wonder if she had a little son too?

Yes hunkermunker she'l be 3 soon but she's always ate at the table from being in a highchair.

I don't think eating at a dinner table and showing table manners is any more a way of creating a child with eating problems than a child eating in front of the tv.

Cod you make me larf.

OK, he does sit down, especially when it's pizza. He likes pizza. If it was something he wasn't too keen on, like my home made jerusleum artichoke soup he would be a night mare.

Depends how each is done, but broadly, I agree with you Hillary.

I do agree with cod on this. a 4 year old should be capable of sitting at the table, even if you choose not to make them. There is nothing more annoying than going to a restaurant with children running riot around it.

my ds has been sitting at table since he was 3 at least, and before that in pizza hut and similar.

BTW I think it's fine to not like a four year old boy. We're human. They're all people. Just as long as you don't show it. You can't pretend to like someone whatever age they are.

Come on, can you seriously tell me that you've never met any single four year old who you feel dislike for?

yes there is a 4 year old at ds' preschool who I dislike, she is the most winy wingey emotional over dramatic child I have ever come across, but it does sound in this post as if the op is almost comparing this child with her own in a way, and that even if he wasn't "spoiled and arogant" she still wouldn't like him.

Dunno about not liking a 4 year old. And it's not like it's some random kid from the park, it's her nephew.

I fear for these kids whose mums follow them around the house with bowls of food shoving in a spoonful every time they manage to distract them enough. It's sheer madness.

I know several parents who put their kids in front of videos and sit there spooning in food as soon as the kids get that glazed, robotic TV look to them.