Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to expect my SIL to keep her ds at table while my dd is still eating ?

146 replies

PoppyPie · 11/02/2007 21:38

Otherwise she naturally wants to get down too and she hasn't eaten anything.My SIL just didn't bother while her DS of 4 went off with DD's games and it messed up the entire dinner.

OP posts:
2shoescoveredinhearts · 11/02/2007 22:16

having read the post's since I posted can I please change my mind and say as long as the child was allowed to leave then it is ok. sorry for changing my mind. but forgot how young 4 is.

booge · 11/02/2007 22:17

And manners does not mean listening to Mummy and Daddy, it is about us all talking to each other.

hunkermunker · 11/02/2007 22:17

I agree with Wannabe - it sounds like you're not too fond of your nephew or SIL. I think you also don't have much idea of what 4yos are capable of - it's very easy to assume that a child older than your own is completely in control of their emotions and will behave beautifully, simply because they are older.

hunkermunker · 11/02/2007 22:19

As for staying at the table, that's a tricky one - I'm not a fan of forcing children to do things food-related - but then both DSs are likely to take longer eating than the adults because they scoff so much.

Original poster
PoppyPie · 11/02/2007 22:21

I like my SIL but not the child as I find him spoiled and arrogant, even for a 4 year old.Like I said, I dont expect kids to wait until adults have finished a dinner but until another child has yes.Nephew also does same thing in restaurants and at PIL while my dd sits happily if we are out on our own or with friends.

OP posts:
Spidermama · 11/02/2007 22:22

I don't like kids wandering off at any given time during a meal. I don't make them stay for hours while the last person chomps and chomps - that would be torture. But I agree it is rude for kids to be wandering off before a meal has finished and they need to learn that sharpish.

Tommy · 11/02/2007 22:23

not sure how I feel about this but I do know that we really struggle with DS1's table manners and eating generally (and DS2 copies him ) so, to be honest, it's quite often more pleasant for everyone if he is allowed to get down from the table and go and play in between courses or whatever otherwise it all gets very stressful.

I also think that sometimes it's all a bit more exciting when you have visitors so they never eat as well as they could normally,

hunkermunker · 11/02/2007 22:23

I think most children would get bored waiting for either of my DSs to finish, PP.

Aloha · 11/02/2007 22:23

I think being obsessive about table stuff is not great tbh. I'd rather the kids were relaxed and happy around food and mealtimes. I remember the agony of being made to be still and quiet when still very small. I just think, why do it?

Skribble · 11/02/2007 22:23

It was your SIL that made him spoiled and arrogant, he is only 4.

northerner · 11/02/2007 22:24

at anyone who says they do not like a 4 year old boy.

Think you need to remove your parent of a 2 year halo for a moment. Your turn will come....

FluffyMummy123 · 11/02/2007 22:25

Message withdrawn

FluffyMummy123 · 11/02/2007 22:25

Message withdrawn

hunkermunker · 11/02/2007 22:26

How would you feel if your SIL was saying she didn't like your DD - that she found her "too quiet" and "crushed" by your parenting?

Not saying that she is though - but try liking him a bit more and he might be more likeable. He's only four fgs.

shimmy21 · 11/02/2007 22:26

I don't like the way you call him 'the child'. That sounds very cold

Skribble · 11/02/2007 22:27

Even in the 50's chilren were excused from the table. Meals shouldn't be stressful ot torture, but of course children need to learn to sit and eat, not endure another half hour af daddy's witty anecdotes. Children can't larn to eat properly when under pressure and tense.

Original poster
PoppyPie · 11/02/2007 22:27

you should meet the boy!

OP posts:
FluffyMummy123 · 11/02/2007 22:27

Message withdrawn

FluffyMummy123 · 11/02/2007 22:28

Message withdrawn

MrsGordonRamsay · 11/02/2007 22:28

Do you know what.................................................................I am ROFLaughing................you are smugger than smug and your time will come.

harpsichordcarrier · 11/02/2007 22:28

I'm with Aloha on this one.
I do encourage dd1 to respect other people's rules about table manners, but that doesn't stop me from thinking they are a bit.... you know....

wannaBeWhateverIWannaBe · 11/02/2007 22:28

my 4 yo stays at the table until everyone has finished. I believe it is good manners and that's what I teach in my house. However, not everyone teaches that and I think it is very judgemental to expect others to bring up their children to your standards.

he gets down from the table because he is permitted to do so by his parents. If that's the way he has been brought up that is the way he will be. I agree some 4 year olds can be unpleasant, but IMO you just don't like him and whatever he did wouldn't be good enough for you.

"arogant"

a 4 year old?

hmmmm.

Skribble · 11/02/2007 22:28

You are excused cod Ahem Cod straighten you knife and fork please!

Hillary · 11/02/2007 22:28

My DD's not uner pressure or tense she eats more than anyone and has respect for table manners, its just the norm for her.

FluffyMummy123 · 11/02/2007 22:29

Message withdrawn

Swipe left for the next trending thread