To send thank you cards from my children

[Badgoushk]

...and expect at least an acknowledgment of gifts?

I'm 39 so not terribly old but I wonder if I'm being old fashioned?

Background: I have a 1 year old and a 3 year old and whenever they receive gifts I always send a thank you card. I intend to do this until they can write their own. Is this weird? I thought it was standard stuff but we never ever receive cards ourselves from other children/parents. In fact, I would say that 75% of the time, we don't even get a text to say thank you either or even a verbal thank you next time we meet.

AIBU?

Yanbu at all, i think it's a lovely idea and one i will do with my LO when he gets here. I think it's especially nice for family members who don't live nearby and don't get to see the childs enjoyment of the gift, for friends who i see regularly i'd thank in person or send a message.

I think it's incredibly rude when parents don't thank on behalf of their child, my SIL and BIL never once thanked me for anything i sent their sons and never so much as sent us a xmas card, you can bet they had something to say last year when i sent them absolutely FA though!

I think it's just rude not to send at least a thank you text! We are expecting our first baby and I shall defo be bringing my child up to write cards/letters as thanks as well as saying it at the time - once they can talk obviously!

I recently sent a new home card to our new neighbors, they were in when I popped it through the door and heard them go to door to get it. Was a week before she text to say thanks, despite seeing me outside the house loads!

I guess it's just people are busy? Or just not been bought up to use please/thank you as some were? My parents always made me send notes and cards, and I'm glad they did, I love doing so now and feel a nice card with nice words means more than a present

The thanks I appreciate most are when a parent tells me in person or on the phone how much she and her child appreciated and loved my gift. It is wonderful when you can tell that the person really means what they are saying, and is obviously eager to thank me. Sometimes I get people thanking me again a year later, saying they still love and use the gift. That makes me happy.

I hate getting thank you notes because almost always I get a picture of someone joylessly cranking out a dutiful note. Even when done well, it often seems fake; I am not sure why. I can think of one or two sincere and heartfelt thank you letters I have received, usually after someone has stayed with us and been shown a really good time. In these cases the person has clearly written with joy and thankfulness...

What clarashu said with bells on

I was forced todo them as a child and hated every moment of it, butI did start when the DCs were babies and so did everyone else I know. It progressed to computer template ones that the DCs scribbled on. Then somewhere around the middle of primary school it dawned on all the parents that we hated it, the DCs hated it, it was a waste of materials that just go straight in the bin and by general consensus we stopped doing it after birthday parties. Still do a couple for elderly relatives after Christmas but everything else is in person or phone/email now, much to my relief.

We live overseas and dc either send a letter, email or phone as a gift is rarely received in person. Not acknowledging a gift is incredibly rude imo.
As we are overseas I often have no idea whether a gift I have sent has even arrived - this really pisses me off! I don't need a letter, an email is fine.

I was forced to do them as a child. But it made me think about each and every gift in my obsecene pile. I had to remember who it was from, think about them and appreciate they'd made the effort to send me something.

I used to do cards for DD, now she makes her own. She (fortunately) doesn't have more than about 10 to do, and she enjoys drawing a picture relevant to the person who gave the gift. Inside, she generally writes
To xxx, thank you for my xxx, I love it. I had a great Christmas, hope you did too. Love from xxx.

I know that her grandmas and great aunties etc love to receive a cheerful little note in the post a few days into the grey new year. They generally sit in the mantelpiece for a few weeks.

I understand the point about trees, pollution etc. But on balance I think we've got it right for our family.

I've spent the last ten years sending gifts to a family member, that have gone unacknowledged, so I don't even know if they've been received. We don't often meet, but when we have it's never been mentioned.

The effect of this is that I challenge myself each year to find cheaper gifts.

Vvv good manners to do until child is old enough to draw or write. My dsis and always did thank you cards, letters...my cousin s never did. My gran and dm stopped buying presents for them when they hit their teens. Mum always said if someone spends the time buying a present, wrapping it up and sending it to you you can spend the time writing a thank you to let them know it's arrived and you appreciate them thinking of you. Im very grateful she pushed us in those early years. When my grandparents died we found ever single. Thank you stored carefully in a wood box. They be read and reread. Yanbu op its a lovely thing to do.

Yanbu at all

Having many a holiday spoiled by being forced to write thank you letters, i stopped sending them when i left home and could no longer be forced. My opinion entirely changed the first time i actually received a thank you from my then baby niece. I have kept them all, as a record of her development from the early days when her mother would print a message and give her a pencil to scribble over the page to the early faltering signing own name and onwards.

I still think it's overkill for presents handed over in person, though in my circle we tend to email thanks after events. If i have sent off a parcel or even a cash transfer, I do wonder whether it has arrived and am glad of any acknowledgement to know that it got there.

I send thank you emails, where possible with a picture of the child with a gift.

I hated writing thank you letters as a child - but my mum was OTT about them having to follow a certain format and being in impeccable hand writing and perfectly spelt, she used to get very, very tense and shouty about them...

I hate receiving thank you cards and letters from children because I imagine them being put through the same ritual and resenting me for sending them a gift - I remember wishing people would stop sending me things so I could stop writing the bloody letters!

Acknowledging arrival of gift especially if posted, and a brief thanks is polite - making it into some stupid show of who has the best ettiquite (and feeding more money to the card industry) is unnecessary unless it is some really special one off gift/ occassion,

I prefer to receive and give thank-yous in person, or by phone, text or email.

I do always thank, by the above means.

I hate doing cards. I think they are very wasteful.

catmombaby16 this is when it gets silly though - you sent somebody a card then kept a score of how long it was til they texted you a thank you - for a card! It all becomes some kind of tense and drawn out point scoring ritual instead of giving things to make people happy...

Absolutely agree with what claraschu wrote!

If I take time and effort to buy a gift and post it I do expect a thank you. A text or email will do. Kids should acknowledge a gift 100%

I just can't get used to thank you cards. This is not something that is done in Belgium. A phone call is expected if the present arrived in the post, but an in person thank you upon receiving tends to suffice in general. I never quite got why a spoken thank you is expected to be followed up with a card. I also don't understand the holding on to presents until Xmas day. You are expected to open your present in the presence of the giver in Belgium, so I really hate people walking off with unopened presents!

Thankyou cards can get a bit expensive, with stamps & when there are a lot of them to send. I do enjoy receiving them & tho I can't afford to send many myself, I do make an effort to send thanks, in person, by e mail, over the phone etc.

We always say thank you for gifts, but that does not mean that we always (or even usually) send a card.

Most of our family & friends are perfectly happy with a verbal "thank you" or - shock horror - even a text!

It's the not saying thank you that is rude, not finding an easier way to do it!

My rule is to thank in person if given in person, card otherwise. Although for class party I just sent a text though. But to each person for their specific present.
My sister always made her kids send a thank you card for things I had given in person but they didn't say thank you at the time. Would rather have had the real thank you!

I do as does my daughter (now 22), for gifts and also hospitality. We do write hand-written letters to the older generation but sometimes resort to email for younger people. Lots of people don't. I'm often left wondering whether, in fact, they have received the gift if it's posted. 'Bread and butter' letters after a meal or stay at friends and family seem to have dropped by the wayside but we shall continue to keep this habit alive.

I agree with claraschu. I would far rather have thanks orally or by email than have a card, which generally tells me the the recipient spent all of a few seconds getting the card out of a drawer, scribbling a signature and putting it in the post and probably can't even remember what they're thanking me for

If you are there when they give it to you & thank them, what's the need for a follow up card?
Sil writes very long thank you notes & describes how the kids are using the things etc often with drawings or photos... Tbh I think blimey it was only pjs and a book, you've got too much time on your hands!

And she spends about a tenth what I do on her kids im not writing a gushing letter for something she picked up last minute in Tesco.

I send personal thank you notes from DD for all her Christmas and birthday gifts, even if we've verbally thanked the person. When she's old enough I'll encourage her to send her own.
My brother sends very generic "thanks for the gift" printed out cards from niece. Better than nothing.
My friend I have never received a thank you (verbally or otherwise) for the expensive naming day present I got her DD, or for their wedding present. That annoys me!
In general thank you cards are falling out of fashion, but I appreciate them!

Absolutely send cards at our house. We get them to scribble on them too. 4yo now writes thank you and love ds name. I think is basic good manners. 2yo "draws" something.