to feel discriminated against at work for not having children???

[chicdiana1980]

I was accidentally copied into an email at work yesterday and I am really thinking about going to some kind of tribunal about this. I was feeling p*ssed off already but this is the tip of the iceburg!

to give you a background, I work for a fairly small company, office based. Pretty much everyone else in the office has children, and they are mostly young children. I don't have any children, and I am happy with this, but I feel like I get the brunt of it at work.

It seems like noone ever questions people when they take extra time off if they just say it's because of their children. Mostly it's leaving early pretty much every day to pick up children from school. Others who don't do this have 'parents evenings' or school plays or things, or get in late after the 'school run,' always laughing about how it's so stressful and that's I'm lucky. Sick days when the children are sick - how is this fair? Sick days are for the employee, not for employee and any family.

There has to be cover for the whole day, so it is usually me who ends up having to stay until the end, or get in early, so that someone is there. I regularly have to stay late as the colleagues who fly off at 3:30 to school leaves work that needs to be done. They say that they make it up in the mornings or at other times, but it's really no help.

Anyway, this has been going on for years now and I got to the stage where I thought I would just have to accept it as one of those things. But I was copied into an email (accidentally) which was obviously a round robin which had been going around my colleagues and the last person sent it to the entire office, not just their 'select group' (the select group being pretty much everyone but me). They were talking about who was going to be leaving early - and essentially they all were, leaving someone to say 'so who's gonna cover until the end ;),' and the last person said 'guess who. it's not like she has anything else to do anyway!'

I am seriously furious about this. I don't work Wednesdays but I am seriously considering going straight to ACAS or someone (our office is so small there is no real HR department) to make a complaint about this. I have been in tears for most of the morning - but before I do anything, would it be unreasonable to do this?

Many working parents, and single parents in particular, go above and beyond in the hours that they are available. Even though they may be technically working less hours than the childless person sitting next to them, they can achieve more, and be more focused as they aware of their other obligations and how this impacts on their work. This is because they are parents.

Another bollocks to this. Being a parent doesn't automatically turn someone into a superhero. I know parents who certainly use their kids to swing things their way. Equally I know parents who are fantastic and fair to all.

'I also see parents (both male and female) on the morning train commute taking their DC to school and then going into work - this is 8.15 and 8.39 respectively so height of rush hour but if they can do it why can't OP's colleagues?'

Ummm, at a guess, because their kids schools aren't located so conveniently near to the workplace?!

The fact I haven't had kids doesn't mean my work ethic isn't just as good as the some who has.
I'm not saying that and you know it. I am saying that just because someone may be sitting at their desk a few hours less, it doesn't mean that they are achieving less, or letting their employers down.

But be defensive by all means.

I'm not saying that and you know it. I am saying that just because someone may be sitting at their desk a few hours less, it doesn't mean that they are achieving less, or letting their employers down.

Go back and read your own post.

I am saying that just because someone may be sitting at their desk a few hours less, it doesn't mean that they are achieving less, or letting their employers down.

That isn't what you said at all.

Also if they are being paid for those hours they should be at their desk working, not sending round robin emails about the OP trying to get out of working.

BeMorePanda, are you trolling us? Surely you don't actually believe the rubbish you are spouting?

Having children doesn't automatcially entitle you to special treatment. Nor does it make you more of a person, just because you had unprotected sex a few times and managed to conceive. It's not like people haven't been doing that since the dawn of fucking humanity is it....

Many working parents, and single parents in particular, go above and beyond in the hours that they are available. Even though they may be technically working less hours than the childless person sitting next to them, they can achieve more, and be more focused as they aware of their other obligations and how this impacts on their work. This is because they are parents.

Lol.

Op, that email is awful, no wonder you are upset.

Many working parents, and single parents in particular, go above and beyond in the hours that they are available. Even though they may be technically working less hours than the childless person sitting next to them, they can achieve more, and be more focused as they aware of their other obligations and how this impacts on their work. This is because they are parents

Do you work in the OP's office? did you send the email?.....come on, fess up.

Their attitude towards you is piss poor, there's no argument about that and it needs addressing because policies should apply equally to all, but I have to say I'd bloody love to work there if they are that family friendly!! It's true that nobody forced your colleagues to have kids, but equally nobody is forcing you to stay there if the company culture doesn't suit you. Plenty of places have family-unfriendly policies in place - perhaps you might find somewhere else that works for you better. Good luck!!

Being a parent doesn't make you more organised or efficient but working part time can do. Pre kids when I was full time I was more relaxed at work, more time to chat, longer lunch break, could take more time to get something done as I could stay an extra half hour if need be. Now I'm trying to do a 5 day week in 4 compressed days I do less of that and have to be more efficient or it wouldn't get done.

Makes no difference to the shitty treatment the op has had by his/her colleagues but some of the responses to panda are extreme - i get the point she is trying to make.

Some people do get more efficient after children though, because they have to - I definitely did. I used to be a terrible procrastinator and I got way better at prioritising and not wasting time once I knew that staying late to finish things simply wasn't going to be an option.
I am not saying that brings me up to the same level as some other people I know who were efficient all the way through, childless or not, but it can happen.

I'm afraid you don't come across well OP. You sound bitter, resentful, jealous and very judgemental about working mothers.

I'm not surprised they don't like you,

Yes, rush off to a tribunal if that will bang home your point. It will take months and no good will come of it but hey, you will be "right"

Or move to a job where you can be with other bitter and right people, you would be much happier.

Panda - are you Angela Leadsome?

Do you believe that you are more invested in the future?

Are you disappointed that a childless woman got the job you wanted? but was totally inexperienced to do despite having given birth

Do you work in the OPs office Jerry

That's a crappy email and I'm bit surprised you're annoyed.

In practical terms though if your office has flexible working with core hours where anyone can leave at 330 and make the hours up via flexitime then they can't also make someone cover until 5/6 pm. The policy must apply to all or none.

So, I'd start leaving at 330 every day and not giving it a backward glance. Make up the time in the mornings or over lunch or whatever, but bollocks to cover. If there's flexitime, use it. Then when they demand cover, you can quite legitimately ask if the flexitime is not for everyone and where's the policy on it. Then you can get Acas involved.

Play a longer game and fuck them.

not read the whole thing but just to say:

• this is not discrimination as it is not a protected characteristic to have children or indeed to be childless.
• however this is inappropriate behaviour and depending on your length of service there you should definitely kick up a fuss about it! Shameful behaviour!

As for me I work more than a lot of my childless colleagues, children or not have nothing to do with work ethics!

They sound like dicks, sniggering behind your back because you pick up the pieces while they swan around. However you come off slightly bitter too in your OP. Of course parents need to take time off if their children are ill and they can't get a sitter. Do you expect some extra sick days to bring you into line with the extra they sometimes have to take?

I wouldn't take this to tribunal personally. But I would make damn sure I was not covering anymore for them. If its been going on years they obviously jusy rely on you doing it now, where if you refused a while back I'm sure they would have found some alternative arrangement by now.

Definitely do what LaMontser suggests. Totally within the rules and doesn't rely on you taking any sick leave.

JerryFerry Ifyou found out that the people you work with were taking the piss like this and using you as backup for their personal problems you might sound angry too. You would not expect your colleagues to look after your children while you did your job and they should not expect the OP to do their jobs while they look after their children.

Except when DS was small (and he's 31 now) I have generally been willing to swap hours around - but I expect to be asked politely and if the answer is Sorry, not this time, other plans that's the end of it.

Being a parent doesn't make you more organised or efficient but working part time can do.
Totally agree. Working part-time I have found I can work at an intensity I never managed full-time and do about four-fifths of the work in 3 days. Am amazed more employers haven't caught on to how much money they could save by having more part-time staff.