To think this man was rude on flight?

[Lionking1981]

On long haul night flight yesterday. My 5 year old would not fall asleep as she was quite excited and enjoying watching all the cartoons. After 5 hours, I couldn't keep my eyes open any longer and drifted off. I was awakened by the man infront shouting 'oh for fucks sake' and throwing his headphones on the floor. I realised my daughter had been kicking his chair, I apologised, got my child to apologise but he didn't even answer - just threw a glare and turned round. I of course stayed awake for the rest of the flight to make sure she didn't do it again. At the end of the flight, he stood up and said loudly that that was the last time he will ever fly with the cattle class. I know I should have theoretically made sure she did not kick his chair and I know it is annoying but surely this was just bloody rude ?

Loving all the perfect parents on here especially Troublesmith, I might go and see what they have to say on other threads.... am thinking a Mrs Mills type character but less polite.

Similar happened to me once. I was travelling with a 6, 4 and 2 year old. (Obviously I shouldn't travel with so many children if I can't control them and should get my nanny / driver / housekeeper to travel with us instead!!) Anyway. .. DD who is 4 was sitting across the aisle from me (only three seat so we couldn't all sit tigether) and was kicking the seat in front of her. I was preoccupied with my youngest (again I know that of I can't keep all three under my full attention at all times I should not have had them! ). Man in front turned around and snappily asked me to ask her to stop. I completely understood his failure to keep his cool and was mortified, apologised, explained to DD, she was mortified, apologised. Man was now mortified, realised he had slightly snapped and felt guilty for not controlling his temper, bought DD a bag of sweets and then felt obliged to help me with the three children and three trunkies (worst decision of the entire journey) off the plane, onto the bus and into the terminal. By the end we were both embarrassed and desperate for the journey to end!! Terribly British all round!

Is this for real? The OP thanked Juno for her post (quote below)

^Rude man would rather throw a strop and swear AFTER the event and AFTER you had apologised, instead of waking you and actually asking you to stop your child kicking the seat back?? What a prat.

YANBU.^

but that's not what you said happened - you said the swearing woke you up. So he didn't swear after you had apologised. You don't even know if he asked your child to stop. I get that you were tired but you managed to stay awake for the rest of the flight.

I would not swear around children but I do think YABU. Seat kicking is not on, especially in a plane where you can't get away from it. He could have been a lot ruder or complained to the staff about you! I can see it was unpleasant for you OP, but it was pretty unpleasant for him too.

The child shouldn't have been kicking the seat no, but at 5 she probably didn't make the connection that she could be bothering someone on the other side.

The most brattish behaviour was displayed by the person who threw headphones on the floor and swore - and had to say something passive-aggressive as he was leaving. Who parented that treasure?

I was once on a long haul flight to the Caribbean. A child (older than 5) was kicking the back of my seat. I turned round, pointed out what she was doing, and politely and pleasantly asked her to stop.
She stopped.
This is how the world SHOULD work, folks. No need for swearing and all the handwringing.
YANBU, OP.

Understood Navy, but it's not like the man gave the child a chance to stop doing it. His first and only approach was a passive aggressive, sweary one.

Quite honestly, with a five year old I would have turned off the cartoons and told her to get some rest if I was tired and had been up for so long.

I have repeatedly asked children to stop kicking the back of my seat politely and they haven't. And then I have lost my temper.

And there is nothing more irritating than being kept awake by a child when you're desperate for sleep and seeing the parent of said child snoozing away happily.

Of course he shouldn't have sworn but I'm sure he was as desperate for sleep as you were. But unlike you, he was prevented from sleeping

Oh for goodness sake. Yes it's horribly annoying to get your seat kicked. He should have asked the child directly not to (she's 5!!!! Not 2-3), if that didn't work he should have woken the mum and asked her to take charge.

Passive aggressively swearing and acting like a prat was unnecessary (although I do get how unreasonable getting your seat kicked can make you feel).

OP YANBU. The man could have handled this issue a LOT better and to a much better outcome.

Fuck off calling a 5 year old a brat. If she's anything like most kids that age she's unaware of people around her and was just swinging her legs. My DS has ADHD and is so fidgety I had to keep telling him to stop rocking his legs on the train and kicking the seat in front. He's not a brat.

And I fall asleep on train journeys, let alone a flight when I've been awake 24 hours already.

He didn't have to swear, he could have asked politely. He was the one being rude as the OP stopped her daughter immediately and both apologised to him.

I hope doesn't fly "cattle class" again, who wants arseholes like that on their flight.

The last time I politely asked a child of about that age to stop kicking my seat his father weakly said "Don't do that mate" and shut his eyes again. The child carried on.
The thing is we don't really know if the man had asked the child to stop prior to the OP waking up. It's difficult to judge what's or who's unreasonable without all the facts.

having your chair kicked is really fucking annoying. And magnified if it's on a plane.

I just talk to any child who does this directly. And I let my own kids know it is absolutely not on behavior.

So what if he was rude? He was pissed off and that's hardly surprising.

What is this obsession on MN with people "being rude" to them in response to behaviour that is bang out of order? It's cause an effect - don't be surprised if there is a response to your crappy behaviour/parenting. You don't control other people - you can only control yourself and to a certain extend your children. You have no idea what is going on in that man's life.

Hopefully your child has now learnt not to kick seats.

Yes a child kicking the back of your chair repeatedly at any time is annoying - even more so on a long haul night flight where he may have been asleep. You should have supervised your child.

like ilovesooty I've been in a situation where I've asked a parent to get child to stop kicking back of my seat and the parent has been wishy washy about saying something. So then I just turn around and say rather PA to the child something slightly aggressive. if it means I've hurt their precious feelings so what??!! I have asked kids not to kick my seat and been met with tongue sticking out, ignoring me, or stopping for a minute then restarting. rude beyond measure.

I hate getting my seat kicked and doubt that it had only been going on for 20minutes.

In my experience I usually turn around and glare a few times, then ask the parents to stop their child and then escalate to cabin crew, if parents were asleep I might speak to the kid directly - in my experience children get quite a shock at being told off by a stranger but in today's society this is becoming a dangerous gamble.

I find pearl clutching about swearing hard to take when the child had been behaving badly unchecked.

He had every right to be pissed off. I don't blame him for reacting the way he did.

Vixen way to go to let off OP's child...

I know an ADHD child and when she's medicated she will behave if spoken to. When she's unmedicated (school holidays) it's much harder to enforce of course.

there is a definite difference between 'not being aware and swinging legs' to kicking the back of a seat repeatedly and a 5 year old should know this is annoying and not to do it.

The child behaved badly-that is not in question, but her mum asked her to apologise and she did.

The man behaved badly also and he should certainly be behaving better or also apologising when he slips up. Fact is; He did not even accept the apology offered to him. He is far too big and important to accept a child's apology, which is an opinion entirely validated by pps

We don't know that the man hadn't asked the child to stop once, twice or fifteen times.

TBH I would have probably sworn too. I've got severe back problems and am awaiting surgery. Every kick would have almost made me cry. I've asked parents to stop their kids kicking my seat before and it's not worked, they just can't be arsed to watch what they're doing.

The man didn't swear at they child either, he swore in front of them. And I'm another who is perplexed at how the OP managed to see him chuck his headphones on the floor etc when she was sat behind him, snoozing!

YABU

Your child was kicking the seat.

And as for your Had it happened to me, I would have politely turned round to say that the child was kicking the seat

Really?

On a flight to Australia once, and during the longest leg (the 12 hour bit) I had a young boy sitting behind me kicking my seat. Every time I managed to drift off. I would be woken with a jolt. It felt deliberate, actually. I turned round and - very politely - asked his mother to get him to stop, or to move him so that he was behind the empty seat in the middle of the row (I was curled up in the window seat).

His mother was rude and just said 'He can't help it' and did nothing. So you get absolutely no sympathy from me. It is cattle class when parents make no effort to stop their children behaving badly.

I'm not letting her off - she was told to stop and apologise. She stopped and apologised.

There was no need to swear at her, yes it's bloody annoying, but that doesn't excuse that mans rudeness.

My son will behave when spoken to, he just needs reminding more often that his fidgetiness is annoying for other people.

I just don't think most kids do it deliberately. Lots of them swing their feet when their feet don't reach the floor. As long as the parents are aware or politely made aware that it's happening and stop it then I don't think anyone needs to be rude.

This is all down to parental responsibility. Far too many parents abdicate responsibility for the behaviour of their children yet they are outraged if anyone dares to suggest their child is behaving badly. Just look at their reactions in this thread if you require some proof...

It seems that some parents think they and their children are much more important than anyone else. That is the most annoying thing of all.

I wonder how the OP-mummy would feel if someone else's hugely annoying brat kicked her seat while she was trying to sleep on the flight?

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