To think this man was rude on flight?

[Lionking1981]

On long haul night flight yesterday. My 5 year old would not fall asleep as she was quite excited and enjoying watching all the cartoons. After 5 hours, I couldn't keep my eyes open any longer and drifted off. I was awakened by the man infront shouting 'oh for fucks sake' and throwing his headphones on the floor. I realised my daughter had been kicking his chair, I apologised, got my child to apologise but he didn't even answer - just threw a glare and turned round. I of course stayed awake for the rest of the flight to make sure she didn't do it again. At the end of the flight, he stood up and said loudly that that was the last time he will ever fly with the cattle class. I know I should have theoretically made sure she did not kick his chair and I know it is annoying but surely this was just bloody rude ?

yanbu. swearing at a 5yo is uncalled for.

'excuse me, your child keeps kicking my seat and i'm trying to sleep myself' would have sufficed!

Of course he was rude

Adults should be capable of showing their annoyance without behaving as he did.

If he was jolted from sleep, he may not have even known it was a child behind him.

He was rude, the DD was naughty (at 5, she will know that). Flying sucks; I would not let this one linger in my head.

So many aggressive people! I think some of you need assertiveness lessons. Ask nicely, or get a steward to ask nicely. Swearing and shouting unnecessary.

Did you child have headphones on?

I flew long haul yesterday- all fine. On the hour connecting flight after the child behind had an iPad without headphones- It was bloody annoying and I assume she had been like this on her long haul flight. The mother did nothing. She also kicked me in the back for 1 hour.

So, for 5 hours child does not kick the seat in front, but as soon as OP falls asleep, she does.

Yes, he was rude. But so were you, you let your child be rude and annoying. It isn't hard to stop children being little shits on flights.

Oh wow some of you lot are ridiculous - I have seen threads where apparently it's akin to abuse to swear in front of your child but apparently it's ok for this guy to do so because he had his seat kicked?

Yes he was very rude IMO. Kids can be v annoying on flights but the op stopped her DD doing it and apologised - the gracious thing to do would have been to accept it and move on, not sulk the entire flight.

I don't know why but having your seat kicked causes disproportionately huge rage. It really is the most annoying thing ever. I'm not surprised he was pissed off.

Op you've changed your story a bit. In the op you say he just said ffs out loud, to the world in general. Now you've changed that to say he swore at your child. That's quite different isn't it?

But I think that's because you're the sort of op who expected total validation and get shirty and defensive when that doesn't happen.

He was rude but what the hell was your DD doing kicking his chair? It is horrendous when this happens and the parents do nothing. You were asleep, so I understand why you weren't in a position to act, but I am not surprised he was angry.

And having read all your responses I think YABU for expecting him to be more polite in those circumstances. Why should he be polite? Yes he was rude but he was probably at the end of his tether with your daughter. If she was actually deliberating kicking his chair, shouting FFS is an understandable reaction after 20 minutes!

I think it is incredibly rude to allow a 5 yr old to kick someone's seat constantly. Or is your precious child more important than this man?

Oh wow ops dd is 5 years old people!

He should have turned around woken mum and said could you please tell your child to stop that please.
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There was no need to swear or make a scene.

The OP was rude and "massively entitled" for accidentally falling asleep, but the man was perfectly reasonable to be infuriated by a reminder of other humans' existence in economy. Give me a break!
5 year olds can lull you into a false sense of security like that; mine is polite, sensible, grown up & sensitive to other people, but she could also kick someone's chair while in a bit of a trance.
Of course it's annoying, but I would expect more empathy on the side of the adult. There is nothing more entitled than going through life as if children are not anything to do with you and their parents (mainly mothers) are unutterably selfish for having brought them into the world

You say you nodded off because you had been awake 24 hours. Perhaps this man had been awake 24 hours too but didn't have the luxury of sleeping due to the persistent kicking of his seat.

Sleep deprivation makes me crabby, having my seat kicked would make me very very irritable. He may have dealt with it the wrong way, but so did you. You should have been supervising and now you are being precious. Sorry, you asked.

YABU

There is never a 'need' to swear. Nor is there a 'need' to kick someone else's seat repeatedly and prevent them from sleeping. He reacted badly, no doubt, but it is unreasonable to expect him to be a model of patience and to behave as exactly as you, the parent, might in the face of poor behaviour.

Velvian: So are people expected to go through life making endless allowances for the (very) poor behaviour of other people's kids?

I guess you dealt with the situation in the best possible way. Its quite natural you might have dozed away. But nothing was done intentionally. On the other hand some people just cant tolerate someone disturb their sleep. Always ensure that you are not provoked. You did the right thing apologising. Had you tried for a new conversation once he was calm things mjight have been better I guess. But with the kind of language he used sometime in life he will for sure understand how to behave in a public place

He was rude. I'm no fan of kids kicking my seat but sometimes they do it because their little legs are literally hanging there and they get restless. You clearly didn't mean to drop off (one assumes). He could have simply a)asked her nicely to stop, b) awoken you and asked you to stop her or c) alerted the cabin crew. So he was rude and you were U for not staying awake. No winners here.

Trifle; yes. Particularly if it not intentionally naughty, which this possibly wasn't. Isn't a more pertinent question; why are we still going through life making allowances for grown men's tantrums?
The little girl is learning to stop saying boo to a goose and the man has no deterrent to make him think twice before swearing at the next 5 year old or her mother. I wonder if he would have done that if the girl had been with her dad.
Mothers and children are allowed outside the house these days

YANBU - he swore and huffed and puffed.

Any polite adult would have turned around and nicely asked you to stop her kicking.

Being inconvenienced is not an excuse for rudeness.

To everyone saying he should have asked politely - maybe he did. There's no way of knowing because the OP was asleep. - THIS!

Also he may have said 'excuse me' to OP several times to try and wake her but we'll never know. OP you are completely unreasonable and shouldn't have gone to sleep leaving your child to their own devices.

I think two wrongs here, he should not have swore in front of your child, and you should not have left your child to disrupt other passengers,

He was annoyed so swore, you hadn't slept for a day so left your kid to it. Both understandable, neither is ok.

It's possible that the man had already asked the child to stop. Maybe more than once. That might explain the exasperated outburst.

From experience asking a child nicely to stop kicking doesn't necessarily work, not if the parent is the type to think their child must be allowed to behave exactly as it likes wherever it happens to be.
Reasonable parents don't allow their children to kick seats in the first place, or if they do, they stop them sharpish. I did a lot of long haul with mine when they were little and I wouldn't allow it.
The OP might feel a bit differently if she'd been prevented from sleeping by a child's constant kicking.