To think this man was rude on flight?

[Lionking1981]

On long haul night flight yesterday. My 5 year old would not fall asleep as she was quite excited and enjoying watching all the cartoons. After 5 hours, I couldn't keep my eyes open any longer and drifted off. I was awakened by the man infront shouting 'oh for fucks sake' and throwing his headphones on the floor. I realised my daughter had been kicking his chair, I apologised, got my child to apologise but he didn't even answer - just threw a glare and turned round. I of course stayed awake for the rest of the flight to make sure she didn't do it again. At the end of the flight, he stood up and said loudly that that was the last time he will ever fly with the cattle class. I know I should have theoretically made sure she did not kick his chair and I know it is annoying but surely this was just bloody rude ?

I think it's pertinent to know whether the seat kicking only occurred while the OP was asleep. Because if that's the case, on a long haul flight where her child was by her own admission very excited, it showed remarkable restraint for the 5 year old to refrain from kicking the seat during the rest of the flight right up until the OP drifted off. Almost as if she knew that with her mother asleep she wouldn't be chastised... for an excited child kicking a seat for any reason other than boredom (ie can't contain their excitement) to wait until then is a huge coincidence.

The child either knew she was in the wrong and therefore didn't kick the seat while her mum was awake because she knew she would be told off, or had had to be stopped from kicking the seat while mum was awake and therefore the man had endured longer than 20 minutes of having his seat kicked.

He shouldn't have reacted so aggressively but it is not difficult to understand he was provoked. The wording of the apology is relevant too - was it sincere, or did it features an excuse that she was just an excited child? That would irritate me too because not all excited children kick seats.

navy cross posted

I've flown longhaul many times with DS. And even shorthaul, I taught him from a very early age not to kick the seat in front. I make him sit cross-legged or put his legs up on me to stop him doing it.

I suspect the people 'chastising' are the ones who have flown more, rather than less. Perhaps you need to have endured hours of being kicked in the back to really understand what torture it is!

There are no chairs on planes - only seats.

Man was rude. As we all would have been if a kid had been kicking our chair while mammy snoozed happily.

Kid is old enough at 5 to know you don't do it. A 2 yr old needs to be stopped from doing it. A 5 yr old shouldn't need to be.

It's every traveller's worst nightmare, sitting near (in front of/behind) the small child that isn't yours. Let's be honest here. Now factor in that the kid is kicking your seat and I think FFS was pretty restrained.

its not only on planes LyndanotLinda I've lost count of the amount of times where I've been at the cinema or theatre and a child will inevitably kick the back of my seat and not stop or giggle and start again when I speak to them. If you speak to the parents they are more than not wishy washy about telling their child to stop.

These same parents are probably the ones who let their little darlings run riot in pubs, restaurants etc... and by run I mean run full pelt. not in places where it's allowed too.

As I said upthread, I had a child persistently kicking the back of my seat for 12 hours. I politely asked the mother to stop her DS from kicking the seat, and got a very rude response. The boy did not stop kicking my seat. Every time I managed to drift off. Jolt! Try it for 12 hours ...

So all those saying that the other passenger should have politely asked the child or the OP to stop and it would have stopped has no idea. No idea ...

It's always shocking how many people say "my DD would never do that" or "my children know how to behave in public and would never do this"
My DCs are really well behaved (other people have said this to me, about each of them) but there is no way you would find me saying "my children know not to do this" etc.
Either these PPs don't actually have children or they're totally deluded. You surely don't need planes up there on the moral high ground?

RedJellyCrush - so on this one flight where some kid kicked your chair and their mother did nothing, means that obviously the OP of this thread is lying?

Yeah I can see your point.

But Navy the OP did do something; she asked her DD to apologise. If chair man sat there getting increasingly annoyed and saying nothing it is him that needs to be more assertive.
I'm not scared of disciplining my children btw, but nice of you to check.

If you stuck me on a cramped plane with a brat kicking my seat while their parent slept I'd be doing more than swearing. You either make the effort to stay awake or ensure that your child is capable of behaving. It's called parenting.

I agree it's incredibly annoying to have the back of your seat kicked.
But that said, I also know how hard it can be to keep a lid on things nonstop. Is this a good place to tell about how DS2, aged 4, started throwing crisps over the seats in front of us on a long-haul? Admittedly he is autistic, and of course I stopped it as fast as I could, but still...
flying is hell.

I agree with Navy totally! You have to be assertive! I know a single dad who's solely looked after 3 girls his DDs since youngest was 13 months and eldest 7. He'd never dream of letting his kids run riot (youngest now 9) as he has manners and respect for otter people! He also knows a stern no works wonders and consequences!

@CHJR - but your DS is autistic & you stopped it asap - that's parenting. I'd have been fuming to start with but once you'd mentioned autism (I've Asperger's) I'd have calmed down again. And might have eaten the crisps. If they were salt & vinegar. Prawn cocktail or cheese & onion and I might have given them back!

You are the one who is out of order. You are responsible for making his life hell for several hours - anything he said to you or your child would be completely justified.

If your child cannot be trusted to behave on a flight, perhaps you shouldn't take them on there? It's funny how some parents have children who wouldn't dream of kicking the person in front's seat, some parents have to (and do) keep an eye on their children to prevent them doing it, but others, such as yourself, seem to think that it's the innocent party's fault for being the victim of antisocial behaviour? You need to take responsibility for your child, they are clearly in need of some stricter discipline and need to learn that the world doesn't revolve around them.

Put it this way, if another child who was on the flight ran up to your child and slapped them, or spat in their face, and the parent just said "oops, sorry, was asleep!" you would probably feel aggrieved and think that they weren't accepting the responsibility for their child's behaviour. Would you just say "I'm not flying in economy again" and be done with it?

I skipped 10 pages or so, but the replies on here are too funny!! How dare a parent sleep on a long haul flight indeed! Don't you know your job requires hyper vigilance in case your little brat disturbs someone???

Of course he was rude, and immature. Part of travelling, cattle class or otherwise, is having to deal with other people. Most of us can find more appropriate ways of dealing with a child kicking their seat! If not then you have bigger things to worry about.

Even the best behaved kids act up sometimes. It is usually more effective to say stop it now please you're disturbing me than it is too seethe for hours and then start swearing and throwing things about.

Passive aggressive attention seeking behaviour is rude and pointless.

I see you've been unpleasant on the other current plane thread too, WLF.

the child didn't kick the chair for five hours. You have made that up