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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think this man was rude on flight?

424 replies

Lionking1981 · 01/11/2016 23:10

On long haul night flight yesterday. My 5 year old would not fall asleep as she was quite excited and enjoying watching all the cartoons. After 5 hours, I couldn't keep my eyes open any longer and drifted off. I was awakened by the man infront shouting 'oh for fucks sake' and throwing his headphones on the floor. I realised my daughter had been kicking his chair, I apologised, got my child to apologise but he didn't even answer - just threw a glare and turned round. I of course stayed awake for the rest of the flight to make sure she didn't do it again. At the end of the flight, he stood up and said loudly that that was the last time he will ever fly with the cattle class. I know I should have theoretically made sure she did not kick his chair and I know it is annoying but surely this was just bloody rude ?

OP posts:
NavyandWhite · 02/11/2016 11:02

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Kokosjumping · 02/11/2016 11:04

I obviously would mind. I would mind a lot.

But if the mother stopped the child and then apologised I wouldn't continue being in a sulk about it ffs.

Fyoosha · 02/11/2016 11:05

I don't think anyone is saying they don't mind having their seat kicked - but there are plenty of civil ways to deal with it effectively rather than shout and swear within earshot of a child.

SuperFlyHigh · 02/11/2016 11:05

he was rude but you should have been controlling your child.

FeliciaJollygoodfellow · 02/11/2016 11:05

Any reasonable person would have either turned round and woken you or asked the steward to wake you. What's the point of being so pass ag you wake until you are roaring with fury in a plane?

I think YANBU, he was also flying long haul so I think while he doesn't need to make allowances for a kid kicking his seat, the people on this thread should cut you some slack for nodding off.

I nodded off on a 50 minute flight in the summer as we'd been up since 3am.

SuperFlyHigh · 02/11/2016 11:11

Felicia perhaps the man tried to speak to the child or tried to wake the OP but got no response.

nodding off fine - falling asleep and not supervising your child. not fine.

NavyandWhite · 02/11/2016 11:11

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Sparlklesilverglitter · 02/11/2016 11:22

I think yabu
Yes you was tired but you still had a child to keep an eye on. Tired or not your child is your responsibility

He will of been tired too, and he may well of tried asking your child to stop but we will never know as you were sleeping

I go away a lot of work and on one flight 12 hours in a child starts kicking my seat, I asked said child 4 times to please stop kicking my seat which was ignored so I loudly woke the parents in the end got a half hearted apology, and them saying oh special snowflake don't kick the seat. Yes I was annoyed i had been away for meeting, been awake a good 20 hours last thing I needed was some child kicking my seat because its parent's were sleeping

SuperFlyHigh · 02/11/2016 11:27

Sparkles thing is - what would you do next time if special snowflake stops half heartedly then restarts his kick-fest? speak to the air hostess/steward?

I do wonder about parents - I only had to be told once as i think a 6 year old on long car journey to Cornwall never kick back of car seats because not only annoying but dangerous.

In fact I only had to be told once for most annoying behaviours for me stop immediately - eg in restaurants I'd have been removed if i didn't behave after at least 2 talkings to (normally only need one) certainly knew protocol how to behave etc. i see too little of it with kids these days (discounting kids who are SN).

Funnyface1 · 02/11/2016 11:37

Yes he was rude but clearly provoked. How irresponsible of you.

NavyandWhite · 02/11/2016 11:37

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Madbengalmum · 02/11/2016 11:40

Of course YABU, cant actually believe you need to come on MN and ask that question!

SuperFlyHigh · 02/11/2016 11:42

Navy spot on!

Don't get me wrong I don't dispute that kids fidget or are excited on planes on long flights (of course they are, I was even though was never on long haul flight as a child) - but the OP in this instance in the first place should have been used more force in ensuring her child didn't kick seat or given her something to do whilst she was asleep or stayed awake. I assume the other parent wasn't on the flight and no one else around to help with her child.

Antifrank · 02/11/2016 11:45

Was your child also sick on his expensive bag? You could have gone for the MN full house

mymilkshakes00 · 02/11/2016 11:49

Velvian- I agree with every single of your posts.

Vagndidit · 02/11/2016 11:57

Why do I get the feeling that most people chastising the OP probably haven't flown anywhere longhaul with children before.

Most children are pretty well behaved on flights but they do have their off moments, and really struggle to control their little feet. I've had to stop DS from unintentionally kicking the seat many times on long overnight flights back and forth to our home country. It doesn't make it ok, obviously, but it can so easily happen.

If OP had been given the opportunity to correct her child if it was brought to her attention in a reasonable way, I get the impression she probably would have done so. It doesn't sound like the man-child in question even gave her a chance. But heh ho, well done to you all for thinking a grown man throwing a sweary tantrum is being reasonable.

NavyandWhite · 02/11/2016 12:04

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Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Bluntness100 · 02/11/2016 12:09

Yes, I've also flown long haul loads with my daughter when she was young. Yes kids need to be entertained and supervised. It's that simple and sure it's knackering. And yep, the occasional kick is one thing, this appears to be prolonged.

I think all that's being said is both parties were in the wrong. The fact the op says she should have "theoretically made sure" is maybe a little telling, because there is nothing theoretical about it. She went to sleep, her kid kicked the guys chair in front enough to drive him nuts and he exploded. Neither party comes out of it covered in glory.

Manumission · 02/11/2016 12:13

Love all the people on here who wouldn't mind having their seat kicked for god knows how long on a long haul flight.

Agreeing that he was rude isn't the same as saying you wouldn't mind being kicked.

The thread is about his reaction.

SuperFlyHigh · 02/11/2016 12:29

Vagn - OP's child isn't that young - 5 isn't so old that they should know not to kick and be annoying and to respect other's personal space. if that meant she stayed awake during the flight then so be it.

generally it isn't 'unintentional' to kick the seat either - first time, yes unintentional, swinging feet etc - then second and third time it becomes fun... and child ignores.

BeMorePanda · 02/11/2016 12:31

Why do I get the feeling that most people chastising the OP probably haven't flown anywhere longhaul with children before.
I've flown long haul (26 hours long haul enough for you?) many times with young children thanks. And short haul too! They know very very well not to kick the seat in front.

Kokosjumping · 02/11/2016 12:39

I have never flown long haul with my little one and I'm not chastising the op.

Kokosjumping · 02/11/2016 12:41

navy

I might be arsey had the parent of said child not corrected the behaviour and apologised.

In this case she did, so I wouldn't be. Life is too short.

NavyandWhite · 02/11/2016 12:50

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Message withdrawn at poster's request.

FeliciaJollygoodfellow · 02/11/2016 12:53

Well perhaps Super but as we've only got the word of the OP to go on maybe we should give her the benefit of the doubt rather than creating an interesting back story to paint her as the unreasonable one?

Kids kicking chairs is annoying as fuck and I can well imagine why he was so riled. However, I think his reaction was OTT. If he did try and wake OP he didn't do it very forcefully and clearly didn't ask a steward to assist.