About people taking up room on trains!?

[ChickyDuck]

I'm on a busy train, next to no spare seats. I'm sat next to a bloke who is just taking up so much room! He's not fat, so it's not like he can't help it. He's just sat with typical man splayed legs and jabby out elbows - I can't even sit properly I. The seat without touching him so I'm perched awkwardly on the edge.

AIBU to think that you only need to take up one seat at a time thankyouverymuch!?

Isn't this called 'manspreading'. A guy on the tube the other day had his legs spread so wide he took up two seats

Elbow him hard by accident while trying to get comfortable? Assert your space!

Can't you just ask him to shuffle over so he's only on his seat?

However YANBU as you shouldn't have to ask, on busy trains people shouldn't be spreading themselves out with bags or body parts!

Tell him to budge up!

He's plugged in and quite oblivious, doesn't seem to mind being elbowed or nudged

He's not even a yoof, he's a middle aged bloke in dad jeans, loafers and a fleece!

Start coughing, loudly, really ham it up. Nothing like presenting as ground zero of a zombie plague to reclaim your personal space.

Push back with your leg. Really disconcerts them.

I expect he has such magnificent balls he can't close his legs properly.

Yeah. I'm sure he is oblivious...more like just doesn't care.
Yanbu

You need this t-shirt.

I use my bag to shove them.

YANBU. It's all too common. Also men who walk with a comically wide gait because their balls are obviously so massive. I try to take up as much space as possible if I'm ever sitting next to a man on public transport.

Related: I often walk up steps two at a time (long legs). When I pass men walking up steps one at a time, they often start walking up two at a time to reassert their masculinity.

Why are you letting him? Just move into your whole seat.

Slightly off the topic but I hate it when many people on trains sit on the aisle seat, put the stuff on the window seat and look horrified if you ask if you can sit down.

The choose an aisle seat so it makes it really awkward for you to ask to sit down, rather than just plonking yourself next to them if they were by the window.

I alsoOP tend to get bigger people sitting next to me as I'm small and take up less than a whole seat!

I tried that and just ended up pressed uncomfortably into him! He didn't seem to mind but I did so I shrank away again...

Use your words, OP. And tap him on the arm if you need to get his attention.

Can't you just shout at him to move?

You have to not mind! Or point out he is,squashing you.

Polly I prefer to sit in the aisle (less likely to get squashed by a manspreader). I Wilk always make eye contact when the train is,filling up and stand up to let others,in though.

Assert yourself & tell him

Try saying loudly "can you give me some personal space please." Note full stop not ? as you are telling not asking.

I've had more women do this to me than men.

I have been known to "accidentally" elbow men doing that and take over my share of the space while apologising profusely. I hate manspreading. If you look around a tube carriage almost every single arm rest will be taken by a man. They somehow feel entitled to the space.

I had a shoving match with a man on the tube once. He then started shouting at me, and eventually huffily moved up because he knew he was in the wrong,

I was pissed off and didn't care at the time, but in hindsight it was a little scary.

I have failed mumsnetters everywhere A free double came up and I moved away. I wish I was braver and more assertive in public situations like this! If it's was someone I knew I would be more than happy to say 'oi, shove up!'.

The choose an aisle seat so it makes it really awkward for you to ask to sit down

I don't. I sit in the aisle seat because (a) it is not next to the radiator and (b) I can get off the train first. People on MN apparently get really annoyed about this but if I am on the train first I get to choose the seat I want first. You get to pay less for your season ticket.

As for manspreading, the only real solution is armrests but not all trains have them. But the ones that do - I insist on putting them down. That said, THEY will put THEIR arms on them unless I get there first.