About people taking up room on trains!?

[ChickyDuck]

I'm on a busy train, next to no spare seats. I'm sat next to a bloke who is just taking up so much room! He's not fat, so it's not like he can't help it. He's just sat with typical man splayed legs and jabby out elbows - I can't even sit properly I. The seat without touching him so I'm perched awkwardly on the edge.

AIBU to think that you only need to take up one seat at a time thankyouverymuch!?

The trouble with the seats,if three is they aren't wide enough, no point that lady expecting comfirt!

Itshouldhavebeenjess if only commuting was that exciting!

I find that wedging my handbag into their legs (but still on 'my' seat) and then having a rummage in it can be effective.

Well, I hope I am not a manspreader; and yes, that's a predominantly male form of bad behaviour.

But the bag on the seat while people stand, that's usually female. My reaction is Let me put that on the rack for you because I am going to sit there in polite but firm tone.

RhubarbRocks I'm 6 foot and I struggle to fit my legs into bus seating space. If I'm next to the window, I usually have to angle my thighs diagonally, so they take up part of the leg room of the aisle seat, and I'm still sat with my back pressed against the seat, and my knees against the seat in front. I just physically do not fit. That said, I'm always apologetic to whoever joins me on the seat, and I offer to swap seats so my legs stick into the aisle.

As for manspreaders, I tend to politely ask them to move back on to their own seat. I've not had anyone refuse yet. I've had a few try to spread back over after I've sat down. I don't move over, like they seem to expect, and they stop trying. If you want to take up space on MY seat as well as your own, you can pay for MY ticket as well.

This drives me nuts.
I travel regularly by train and this always happens when a man sits down next to me. Legs spread, elbows on the arm rest and crunching and munching on food spilling crumbs everywhere.
I once refused to move my elbow off the arm rest - it didn't deter him - he just pressed his arm against mine. I lasted as long as I could it then had to give up and shrink away as I couldn't stand it and he seemed to be enjoying it.
I feel for you OP.

A friend once told me she got so fed up of this, she nudged the man in question and said " I can see that your testicles are so large that you must be uncomfortable sitting in just one seat, but if you put those large testicles on your knees, which I'm sure you can you will make room for me" it worked.

"But the bag on the seat while people stand, that's usually female. "

On my commuter line, plenty of guys doing this with work bags.

Classic today with a wheely case on the seat!

HillaryFTW On commuter trains I expect you are right, but I am a regular on the London-Manchester and London-Leeds runs and I am sorry but it is nearly always women who put a bag on the seat next to them and are pissed off if they have to move it. What really grinds my gears is that I always know about my journeys weeks in advance and book a table seat. And they still expect to leave their bag on the seat I have reserved.

Then there are the families who insist that they need a table, they must have a table, never mind about reservations, if you're travelling alone you can just move to a single seat with a seat back in your face . . .

No excuse if seat is reserved!

Oh god I absolutely hate this, amd more so the older I get. Just fucking clang your bollocks together and remember this is not 1950. No, men don't get more of everything just because they're men any more.

I had one yesterday who made an actual show of physically rearraging his tackle via his pockets when asked to budge up.

Ha! DH does this and it's so annoying. Now I have learnt there is a name for it, I do love Mumsnet sometimes!

"Excuse me, would you mind moving over, you are practically sitting in half my seat" is a polite enough comment.

If a bloke spreads his leg into your space just swing your legs up onto his encrouching leg (as a leg rest) and say "Ooh Thanks!"

He'll move sharpish and has no right to complain.

( I have seen this done - the people around laughed at him - and he kept himself in his own space and behind his newspaper until she got off an hour later)

Mango - I do get that and it sounds like you are very considerate (my DP is 6'2 and has the same problem and like you would do his best - and I would be considerate of your discomfort in that situation and give you some space - that's how things should be - people doing their best to rub along together). But my experience was a guy sitting with his legs wide open, elbows out - like the OP's experience - and he wasn't a tall/big guy. There was just no need to literally leave me with a couple of inches of space so I may as well have been standing. He was just being an arse and doing it because he could. In my experience it was more about his posturing and showing who was top dog on the bus rather than genuinely needing the space.

My mate is 6ft6 and over 20 stone. He somehow manages to fold himself up small enough to fit in one seat. No idea how he does it but I always have enough room when I travel with him. So I'm not greatly sympathetic to anyone who has to sprawl themselves out on the tube.

People with bags on seats: move your bag please
People with feet on seats: move your feet please
People with giant knackers: move your leg/knackers please
People with rucksacks that take your teeth out because they forget they're one third bigger than without a bag: watch your rucksack please

I'm actually rather polite. But any kick back on any of the above will get The Look and a stinging rebuke. I pay too much and spend too long with Wankhandles that don't grasp the concept of public transport.

I find laptop man irritating. I book a table seat so I can work on my commute, and regularly the person next to me has their own laptop on the table along with coffee, mouse, mobile etc and there's no room for me to get my laptop out. The usual response from them is that they can't move their phone/coffee/mouse over to allow me space as they are just so busy.. it really gets my goat.

The choose an aisle seat so it makes it really awkward for you to ask to sit down, rather than just plonking yourself next to them if they were by the window.

I always sit in an aisle seat, because I get claustrophobic if someone is sitting next to me and I don't feel like I can escape. I'm the same on planes, and always sit on the aisle.

Isn't this called 'manspreading'

Only by ignorant mumsnetters biggots.

Elbow him hard by accident while trying to get comfortable? Assert your space!

I have been known to "accidentally" elbow men doing that and take over my share of the space while apologising profusely.

Alternatively, be a reasonable human and ask them to move. If that doesn't work tell them loudly. I'm not sure if the best way to 'smash the patriarchy' is by being a physically aggressive arsehole.

Not just MN

mentakingup2muchspaceonthetrain.tumblr.com

Not just Mn

mentakingup2muchspaceonthetrain.tumblr.com

Crumbs, no wonder we are a bit fucked up as a nation re interpersonal communication. All this aggressive/passive/aggressive advice. So this is how to interact with people, and you are teaching your children to behave like this as well?
A firm and polite request, helpfully pointing out the problem would do it. No need for bags, knees and elbow wars.

StrictlyPan LOL - I don't think the reason we're 'fucked up as a nation re interpersonal communication' is down to commuters!

Sorry I'm not giving someone a polite request to shift their bags from the seat next to them when they've already clocked me getting on a busy train knowing I'll want to sit down. That's bloodyrude, they should have moved them already.

Perhaps the answer isn't me asking politely for them to shift their arse, perhaps it's to charge turds like this for 2 seats. They'd stick to their own one soon enough I'd imagine.

HillaryFTW

So people on Tumblr can be bigoted too. Shit! Next you'll be telling me that 4chan isn't comprised of Miss Honey-types too!