To think more than 3-5 presents for a birthday is excessive?

[NotMeredithGrey]

So many of my friends put photos of Facebook of their children on their birthday morning surrounded by mountains and mountains of presents - a quick count of the ones over this weekend looks like an average of 10-12 per child - THESE ARE JUST FROM THE PARENTS. Not family or friends, just the parents! AIBU to think this is at best unnecessary and at worst just plain excessive and likely to lead to a spoilt child?! Genuinely wondering whether I'm just a tight arse as it seems to be the norm these days!! I get my kids between 3-5, but that will be like a book, a toy, some clothes etc.
I thought I was normal, clearly not!

Completely depends what they are, surely? On the face of it DD only has one present for her 3rd birthday, but it's an expensive one (big wooden dolls house full of furniture). I could easily have got her 15-20 smaller presents for the amount it cost.
I don't really get why people care what other people but for their children.

I dont think its a problem we tend to get ours one thing they really want buy we have a big family and they are the only children so they get a present mountain anyway. I think the fb thing is a bit braggy though.

I think what does spoil a child is if they get whatever they want when they want or if they are given presents to make up for lack of attention. My partner was treated this way and said it made him apreciate nothing and has been a big shock that you cant always get what you want.

What Goofy said. dds 17th birthday present from me was a large cardboard box full of plays, bought in charity shops over the year (she is into acting). I put them in a box- but I could just as well have wrapped them individually. Total cost was not above £30. Otoh ds got an iPhone for his 16th. One small parcel. So which one of them was being spoilt?

This is a constant argument between DH and I, he comes from a very affluent background whilst I grew up on the breadline. He thinks 4 presents is too tight, I only got roughly that amount (books, toys etc) when I was younger compared to his 10 presents.

We've compromised on 6 presents still far too much imo

Ds is just one and loved ripping off wrapping paper so we got him loads of little things to unwrap - books, little puzzles, rubber ducks etc. All of it is being played with and I don't think any of it was excessive. I grew up poor so I really like being able to buy him nice things, whether that's a book he likes or warm clothing. I don't think we go overboard.

The FB photos are a bit weird - but I suppose various animals signal their resource collecting ability so we aren't that different. ;)

I think as long as kids are taught to share, appreciate, give generously and to know the value of things then you're fine. That's a gradual process though. At one they just want to rip the paper off

Really don't get this attitude. Surely you can't decide if a child is a spoiled brat based on how many presents they unwrap? DC birthday is soon, there's probably 20 presents. But in that are things that are needed because of outgrown clothes and books, things from charity shops and pound shops, things that I've purchased through the year when they've been on offer.

Let's be honest here - half the joy of birthday and christmas comes from unwrapping presents. Not in a grabby way, but in a "what is in this box" excitement. Add that to the childhood joy of birthday and Christmas, and hell yes kids should have piles to undo. I think giving children three presents for their birthday is almost cruel to be honest.

I dont believe stuff spoils children its the attitude to stuff that spoils them. I did big christmas moderate birthday but that was in days before we overshared our lives on fb so nobody knew who got what. Why does it bother you so much what other kids get.

I'd never do a photo, let alone upload to FB, but what dh and I get for ds is all that he will get (gets nothing from anyone else), so 10 things would be totally reasonable. OTOH, for a child with lots of family who buy for them maybe one parental present is enough.

There is no correct number if presents, but the FB photos are wrong on so many levels.

cory 1 of mine is a drama student that present you got for your 17yr old is genuis might steal the idea sorry to derail

It depends on what the presents are. Mine love books, I could quite easily get them 10 or so books quite cheaply and wrap them individually. Add in other presents and it looks like they're Dudley Dursley! Other times they'll get something like Nintendo DS or a Kindle so only get a couple of presents. As long as they don't behave like Dudley I don't care.

They don't really get bought stuff during the year, so birthdays and Christmas are times to get the things they really want.

I guess it is their facebook and theycan put anything they like on it.

I'm not that much of a birthday / Christmas person so more inclined to buy stuff throughout the year rather than save it all up for birthday / Christmas. Surely it makes sense to spread toys out a bit rather than giving them all at once?

Seems like an awful lot to me too but each to their own. Posting every detail of your child's life on FB is crap though.

I don't think you can spoil kids with material stuff, if you discipline them well and they say thanks and understand their priveleged position etc.

I worry it will give them overly high expectations for when they are adults - most likely they will hardly get any presents and Xmas/birthdays will be disappointing!

Personally having had fantastic Xmases as a child, it has taken me about 20 years to come to terms with the fact that actually Xmas is pretty unexciting. Had my parents kept it low key it might've been better in the long run.

I think giving children three presents for their birthday is almost cruel to be honest.

Do you think I'm cruel giving my 3 year old one thing? A lovely wooden dolls house which she desperately wants?

'hell yes kids should have piles to undo. I think giving children three presents for their birthday is almost cruel to be honest.'

FFS

Idiotic thing to say. This place is numptie central at times.

We give our kids closer to 10/12 presents for their birthdays. However, we're the only ones that get them anything and it's not put on FB.

Ive just joined a new gym when during a circuits class 3 women spoke the entire time in 'normal' voices to each other. It was so annoying!, is this bad manners or the done thing now during classes?

I think 'cruel' is stretching it, but there is a lot of pleasure in unwrapping presents, so if my DC were getting one main present I'd get a few other little bits for them to unwrap.

As others have said it depends how many presents they will get in from friends and family combined, but in total I think it is nice for them to have a good few things to unwrap, even if they're just very simple things like a book and some crayons.

ds1 birthday is on boxing day so he always has a mountain of presents... !

Cruel to only get 3 presents is a bit of a stretch is it not ? 1 present might cost ££££s we dont have to pad out the present pilejust so a kid thinks loads of stuff is better. sometimes less is more

I get maybe 2-3 gifts for my girls on thier birthdays but go totally nuts at christmas both of them have birthdays quite close to christmas so maybe thats why I get 2-3 for thier bdays as what would I get for christmas if I bought loads :). They dont get any toys through out the year though apart from a few garden games in the summer. I love christmas though so I want to make it special my other half has to remind me when I woke to a huge pile of presents under the tree as a child they were for 7 kids not 2 :)

Photos aren't necessary but I'd usually aim for around 6-8. 3 seems a bit stingy!

Personally I have 1 dd and if I want to spoil her I will-she's the only 1 I'm gonna have so why not. But I very rarely pay full price for her presents-I set a budget (say £100) and will shop around for the best deals on what I'd like to get for her. Even Father Christmas has gone sale shopping this year for her!!
But yes I do find the 'present mountain' photos on fb really annoying and unnecessary