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AIBU?

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Original poster

Cheeky To Ask?

34 replies

LouBlue1507 · 30/10/2016 22:52

Hi ladies need some advice on how to approach this...

When DD (13 weeks) was born MIL kindly said she wants to buy us DDs cot mattress and linen when she's big enough to go in the cot.

The time has come, DD has outgrown her Moses basket and needs to go in a proper cot. I mentioned to MIL yesterday that DD is too big for her Moses basket now and she said 'Ohhh she's still got plenty of room in there'... She really doesn't!

This has now given me the impression that she no longer wants to buy the cot (absolutely fine). I'm more than happy to go to buy one tomorrow but I'm worried MIL will be miffed. DH has said maybe she has forgot, but I think it's cheeky to ask her!

I don't know what to do! Do I risk being cheeky offer MIL to buy the matters (it is needed ASAP though).. Or do I just buy one tomorrow myself? Tbh I'd prefer to just buy one myself, I hate relying on others for things but I don't want to upset MIL!

Thanks

OP posts:
peppatax · 30/10/2016 22:53

I'd prefer to just buy one myself but perhaps DH should check with her just in case. Maybe she can't afford it right now but doesn't want to rescind her offer

doodlejump1980 · 30/10/2016 22:54

You could buy your own, then if she complains you could say that you thought she was buying it for her house for when you visit?

WhisperingLoudly · 30/10/2016 22:55

Conversation for your DH to have surely?

AutumnSunday · 30/10/2016 22:55

Is it something she'd be thinking of getting you for Christmas? or something she may have already bought and trying to put you off?

Clutching at straws.

MunchMunch · 30/10/2016 22:55

I'd buy it myself. You mentioned it and she brushed it off, maybe hoping you'd agree there was still room so she could have a bit longer save up to buy it?

If she finds out you've bought it and is miffed then she can always give you the money for it

WalkThePlanky · 30/10/2016 22:56

I don't think you are being cheeky.

Best thing is to casually say something like 'I need to start preparing a cot for DD, did you have one in mind when you offered to buy one for us?'.

Or get your DH to do it.

TondelayaDellaVentamiglia · 30/10/2016 22:56

just buy it, if she wants the credit then she can fork over the cash.

you need a cot whoever pays....so the simplest thing is to go get one

FluffyPineapple · 30/10/2016 23:00

Your child has outgrown her crib. You have mentioned this to MIL. There has been no more mention. Just go and buy a cot.

ThatGingerOne · 30/10/2016 23:04

Invite her out shopping, say you need a few things and then take her to a shop and say ''Oh yeah I need a mattress''. If she offers then she will, if not she either forgot or doesn't have the funds and feels guilty.

Original poster
LouBlue1507 · 30/10/2016 23:05

Hi ladies

Thanks, I think I will just go and one myself tomorrow. DP can send a cute pic of DD in it tomorrow and if she's upset I'll just say we needed one ASAP but if she could get us some sleep suits for DD that would be great!
They grow so fast :'(

OP posts:
TataEs · 30/10/2016 23:05

i'd just buy it.
sometimes ppl want to do something, but the reality is they can't afford it or whatever. you brought it up. she brushed it off. if your oh wants to say to her about it then that's on him

FetchezLaVache · 30/10/2016 23:18

You mentioned it in the most tactful way possible and MIL failed to repeat her offer, so I think you're right - she does no longer want to buy it - so just go and buy it yourself. That way, if MIL's finances are a bit tight and she's worried she can't afford it, you save her the embarrassment of coming out and saying it. I do think if she really wanted to buy it, she'd have jumped at that hint...

9troubledwaters · 30/10/2016 23:19

If she really wanted to get it she would have taken your hint.
She doesn't really want to get it.

BreconBeBuggered · 30/10/2016 23:37

You need to buy it. Maybe mention it to her first in case she has some kind of surprise up her sleeve and thinks it can be a Christmas present or something.

MommaGee · 31/10/2016 00:39

Also don't most cots come with the mattress included?

Qwerdy1234 · 31/10/2016 00:41

I think OP missed out a comma.

Cot, mattress and linens.

MommaGee · 31/10/2016 01:11

Ah
Sorry, did think it was a weird offer.

Invite her shopping

BastardGoDarkly · 31/10/2016 01:13

Yep, she would've jumped at the chance if she still wanted to.

OlennasWimple · 31/10/2016 01:53

Put it this way: I was offered a cot by a friend of a friend of a friend. When I phoned him and said that DD was growing fast, he replied "So you'll be needing the cot now then?" He got the hint without any prompting at all - so if MiL hasn't responded, I'd go ahead and get what you need for your baby.

It would be tactful for DH to say in passing that you are planning to go to Mothercare (or wherever) in the week to buy a cot now that DD has outgrown the Moses basket, to give her a last chance to repeat her offer to buy the cot.

TisMeTheLadFromTheBar · 31/10/2016 01:59

You could mention to Mil, that you are going to buy one tomorrow, and she's welcome to come along.

AmeliaJack · 31/10/2016 02:01

Buy it and if she wants to pay for it she can write you a cheque surely?

Inertia · 31/10/2016 06:54

She's backing out, you need to buy it. She's in no position to then be miffed - you told her that the cot was needed, she argued about it.

ConvincingLiar · 31/10/2016 07:04

I would mention you're going shopping for one/plan to get one this week (or get DH to do it). If it's a Christmas present Dd needs it early.

PlumsGalore · 31/10/2016 07:37

She was probably hoping you would be able to last until Christmas and then shoul would buy it as a suPrise,, or maybe she HAS bought it......for Christmas. Now that would be awkward.

luckylucky24 · 31/10/2016 07:39

A mattress is a pretty important. I wouldn't trust anyone else to buy one for me. Could she not reimburse you the money?