DH out drinking with single friend. AIBU?

[AgainPlease]

DH is a well known businessman and full of wisdom. Single friend has asked if I could arrange a coffee between them for her to ask some business questions.

They started at 3pm and when I called him an hour ago he said he was still with her. He was definitely drinking (could hear it in his voice). Texted him about 20 min ago and no reply.

AIBU in feeling single friend should shut the conversation down after finishing with her business queries and not spend Friday night drinking with my DH or am I just a psycho jealous crazy?

I'm prepared to get flamed for this.

Married men, however, need to prioritise the feelings of the woman they married. It's pretty much Marriage 101. Doesn't get much more basic than that

Indeed. Totally agree with you there.

But once again, an OP from a wife who deems it necessary to connect another woman's marital status with the "safety" of the OP's husband. Because as we know, all single women are scheming all the time to seduce oh-so-attractive not husbands away from their wives.

Slut shaming indeed.

I think sending a text telling someone you love their husband while out on the town with said husband doesn't paint the 'friend' in a good light.

I don't expect my partner to prioritise my feelings all the time.

Not everyone needs to no I massive jealous and rage issues.

That might be the crux. Are they IVF related? Do you try to control it? Is he aware of it?

I wouldn't give a stuff whether DP had met a woman or a man or a three-legged alien - if he'd been having a 3pm business meeting over coffee with a random, which then morphed into a late night drinking session without even the courtesy of letting me know, I'd be pissed off. Especially if we were trying to conceive via IVF. But I suppose it depends on the kind of relationship you have with your DP/DH. I think, as long as this kind of thing is expected and accepted by both parties, there's nothing wrong, but if one person does it and it upsets the other there needs to be a discussion about boundaries etc.

Ok so DH told me yesterday my friend and her business partner rang him at work and took up an hour of his time asking for business advice. They are planning to stop by his office this afternoon to ask for more advice. He will get stuck for months with "Oh Mr.AgainPlease, can you read our new business plan and give us your opinion?" "Oh, Mr. AgainPlease we'd love to hear your opinion on x/y/z"...

I do not want my DH to take on mentoring these girls' failing business. They don't have money to pay him but he feels obliged to help them as she is a friend of mine and completely helpless. I am furious. We are under enough pressure as it is - I hardly see him as he works long hours and I don't want him being sidetracked by this.

I feel my friend should have at least told me "hey I was thinking I could ask your DH for more advice - do you mind if I call him?" or something along those lines?!

What do I do? Do I say something to my friend?

Yes of course you say something.

How fucking rude of them to expect him to do unpaid work.

I would be livid.

I'm glad you updated, OP. It gives a clearer picture of the woman involved - rather selfish, in my opinion (but I thought that already).

She is not being a 'friend' to you right now. She's demanding more of your husband's time. Does she know about the IVF? Tell her to find someone else.

Then can't he just say to them 'sorry so busy, I can't spare more time but I wish you all the best'.......and thats the end of it surely?

In hindsight the 'quick coffee meeting' descending in to a late night drinking session was a huge mistake on his part. By getting all friendly he'll find it hard to say no now. It's tricky for you, I think he needs to be firm and say he's busy and you have a word too when you see her. She's taking the piss.

Exactly delatron it was a silly mistake on his part. He has told the girls his time is at a premium and he can't take anything else on but that hasn't stopped them from saying oh well can we just have 15 minutes of your time and walk in to his office and stay there for an hr+. My friends business is failing and he feels sorry for them so doesn't want to kick them out but also doesn't have the time to dedicate to them for free!

Friend doesn't know about IVF but she does know DH and I lost our son when I was 20 weeks pregnant earlier this year...!

Cut her off. Is her business seriously failing or is it a damsel in distress act? I've meet both.
I don't care if you flame me or if I sound insane and judgmental but I've meet many people (mostly females) that once they smelled the money and success, it was a free for all. From the "my partner doesn't understand me like you do" to "you are such a clever, amazing and intelligent man, can you help me?"

Oh poor OP, I'm so very sorry. You don't need this added stress. I wish you the very best of luck with IVF. What an awful experience. Not warming to your 'friend' at all in the light of that update.

Your DH is going to have to nip this in the bud. 'Friend' has a nerve and sounds the type to just take take take.
He needs to put a stop to it now before it gets out of hand.

Surely as an experienced business man, he is able to say no to these women? Crazy. Especially as he knows that saying no won't upset you, her friend, and that you actually want him to say no.

Say to him - you are going to upset one of us - would you rather it was her or me?

Honestly, I think either your husband needs to man up a bit and nicely decline to help - orthodox reality is that you are far more bothered by all this than he is?

I cannot imagine anyone choosing to sit in my chief exec's office for an hour without his agreement. If he really doesn't want to help he will be able to make a polite excuse. So far it appears he's helped whenever they've asked AND taken them on a drinky night out with his mates.