DH out drinking with single friend. AIBU?

[AgainPlease]

DH is a well known businessman and full of wisdom. Single friend has asked if I could arrange a coffee between them for her to ask some business questions.

They started at 3pm and when I called him an hour ago he said he was still with her. He was definitely drinking (could hear it in his voice). Texted him about 20 min ago and no reply.

AIBU in feeling single friend should shut the conversation down after finishing with her business queries and not spend Friday night drinking with my DH or am I just a psycho jealous crazy?

I'm prepared to get flamed for this.

I've been through IVF and I assume if you are starting this month you have had meetings with your clinic to discuss lifestyle changes? Neither of you should be drinking huge amounts and certainly should not be smoking. I hope he begins to take it as seriously as you do. Good luck with the treatment - it's a stressful time.

It's all very well with the cool wife comments. But it's not about how other people feel. It is about how the OP was made to feel in this situation.

I've never been cheated on (as far as I know- I'd better put that caveat there) but I'd be upset with the thoughtlessness of my partner doing this. As for the "friend"- after that text, I'd ditch her.

OP your DH is not as wise as he likes to think he is.

AgainPlease

Friend obv meant to be nice about the h
they were pissed

She might be a twat though, but the OP was expecting him to phone all night and to be in contact after an HOUR
No wonder the bloke goes out

These threads do make me sad. I'm in an industry which is male dominated, nearly all of my work mates are male and I see them one on one, like I do my other friends.
If my dh stopped me seeing them my social circle would look pretty miserly!
If he's going to cheat, he'll cheat, one dinner won't make a difference. You can't watch him all the time!

WHAT SHE SAID

What on earth is so awful about that text? It's not 'I'm going to rip his clothes off', it's 'he's lovely'.

And really, all the suggestions that they should have met under your roof...

AARRRGGGHH FUCK OFF WITH YOUR 'COOL WIVES' SHIT.

Restless, say what's on your mind why don't you

I can't help it. It well and truly irks my goat. It's a pillow screaming one.

Nah. Just the IVF stuff alone makes it really poor behaviour.

I'm neither cool nor a wife.

i think she was saying the ' cool wife' criticism is LAME

Next time (if there is a next time), text "Have taken my temperature and I'M OVULATING! Get back here NOW!!!"

I'd recommend a serious but pleasant discussion. IVF or whatever puts a huge pressure on both sides. Many of the chemicals used can be character changing for the woman while the demand for sex at a particular time can be unhappy for both. And for both (if it's not been identified why pregnancy isn't happening) it's debilitating. I'd ask OPs husband if he's unhappy and why he's not supporting his wife and OP whether she knows why he's out drinking. Clearly not a happy situation esp if both are under work pressure. I'd be phoning the gf to ask how the meeting went

Why are people being nasty to op. She is obviously worried and upset.
I do want to ask op why didn't you just invite her to dinner and you could have all had a nicer time. I think you have possibly a few issues; you need to talk to your dh.
It sounds like, you feel he gives these other women, more time then you. It might be you need to start going out and doing things as a couple, and maybe some counselling

Ideally know I believe that OP said up thread that friend had been invited to hers for coffee but that H changed arrangements because of change in work plans. Or something.

I asked did he have any idea how I felt or how this looked from the outside

How it looks?

Like you really demonise single women. If you're not secure in your relationship, that's your problem, not your friend's.

I'm going to disagree with your comments Red jelly.

I don't think it paints the husband or friend in a good light.

Why can people not accept that the OP is entitled to her own feelings on this? How she felt is how it is. Frankly I don't care what you would feel because it's not about you.

Like you really demonise single women. If you're not secure in your relationship, that's your problem, not your friend's.

Said every gaslighting husband ever.

TheStoic. . This

I'm with Jelly on this. Basically what's being said here is that no single woman should ever fraternise with married men. It's akin to slut shaming. Disgusting.

It's akin to slut shaming. Disgusting.

Oh bullshit. Single women can do whatever they like, whenever they like.

Married men, however, need to prioritise the feelings of the woman they married. It's pretty much Marriage 101. Doesn't get much more basic than that.

Then why are people on here saying that the single friend should be aware 'that it doesn't look good'?

Or doesn't 'paint her in a good light'?