DH out drinking with single friend. AIBU?

[AgainPlease]

DH is a well known businessman and full of wisdom. Single friend has asked if I could arrange a coffee between them for her to ask some business questions.

They started at 3pm and when I called him an hour ago he said he was still with her. He was definitely drinking (could hear it in his voice). Texted him about 20 min ago and no reply.

AIBU in feeling single friend should shut the conversation down after finishing with her business queries and not spend Friday night drinking with my DH or am I just a psycho jealous crazy?

I'm prepared to get flamed for this.

The world is divided into people who have experienced infidelity (at any point of the triangle), and those who haven't.

Those who haven't will respond to threads like these with lots of sarcastic and a few .

Those who have will understand why you feel uncomfortable.

Lots of those who haven't will become those who have.

agree with stoic's post

He was a little tactless not to invite you along. But I don't think saying things like "he's mine" is very productive.
If this woman was in a wind up send that text "I love your DH" then she got what she wanted. Don't play the game.

Also, regardless of whether he is actually doing anything inappropriate, IMO the real point is that he doesn't seem to be considering how you might be feeling very much OP. Why didn't he let you know his plans for the evening? Do you not communicate in this way with each other?

Did he return OP?

I thought both partners had to cut down on booze with fertility treatment.

He's being a dick. There's trusting your husband, and there's wanting respect. Husband meeting your female friend = fine. Husband turning that meeting into an all afternoon and night boozing thing = not so fine.

I hope he came home at a relatively decent hour OP. And I wouldn't be best pleased with your friend texting you - knowing you were left alone while she was with your husband - that she loved him. I'm not sure what she was thinking and it's hard to give the benefit of the doubt to someone who behaves that way.

What advancetogo said.

He came home about 12:30 (and set the bloody intruder alarm off the tit!).

I asked did he have any idea how I felt or how this looked from the outside. He apologised but said it didn't even cross his mind that it looked like that because he's so secure in our relationship. He also showed me his phone where he tried to call 4 times and said next time if I'm introducing any of my friends to him that I should be present to avoid rows like this in the future. I think that's nice of him to say but half the stuff he'd be talking about for the business part of the meeting I would just sit there like a lemon with my mouth half-open.

paula I agree. Maybe I bigged him up too much he's well known in his industry and businessman makes him sound like he's a creep let's go with "entrepreneur"

stoic you've hit the nail on the head. Has not happened in this relationship but in previous relationships yes

I don't really think you were being unreasonable, certainly not by 10pm. I wouldn't think DP was going to cheat on me in this situation because I trust him completely, but I would think it was a bit of a pisstake to turn a business meeting at 3pm with my friend into a meal and piss up. And I'd be pissed off at her too. It's the lack of consideration and respect.

It's all very well to talk about being secure in a relationship - great - but he has been at best thoughtless, at worst selfish and unfair to you. Make sure he realises how you feel.

I've never been cheated on, but I would have been pissed off big time with this behaviour. People who trust their partners totally have huge self confidence and tiny imaginations.

Keep an eye on your friend OP.

As far as you know Fishie...

Yes, DrScoll, point taken, my self confidence is healthier than I thought.

So the man went out drinking and you made him feel so bad about it he offered to have you as a chaperone next time. Wow.

Yep OP I think you reaction says more about your experience than your DH. He sounds lovely, don't cramp his freedom because of your own history. For the record I go out drinking with male married colleagues all the time as I am in one of those industries with hardly any women. It never crosses my mind

But why would you turn a business meeting into a night out?

It's like going for an interview and inviting the candidate out for a drink.

Did he say why he's drinking when his sperm count really matters to your OCD, OP?

Impromptu nights are the best. Sounds like he had one. I wouldn't bat an eye if DH did this and vice versa.

I'd be livid.

Also, it would make a big difference to me if DP had had a meeting with a female colleague/friend, then gone drinking, versus having a meeting with someone who is basically a stranger and then ending up on the piss.

He sounds lovely

Er, I'm still undecided as to whether the OP was being a bit OTT or not (but have taken aboard the fact she's going through IVF, which can be incredibly traumatic), but I also think he sounds lovely is a bit of an uninformed statement!

So are we saying he shouldn't be allowed to go out after the meeting or are we saying he should have asked permission. Either would be a deal breaker for me.

I think we're saying that an emotionally intelligent partner might have checked himself, realised that his IVF-awaiting wife might be not at her super-confident emotionally impregnable best, and come home to give her a cuddle. In an ideal world your partner doesn't have to do anything - they want to make you secure and comfortable because that's what they want.

Not many people pull this off all the time, but the OP isn't weird for preferring it as an idea.

Is it Richard Branson?
Theo paphitis?
Peter Jones?
Alan Sugar?
That's all the well known "businessmen" I know