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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

DH out drinking with single friend. AIBU?

166 replies

AgainPlease · 28/10/2016 18:18

DH is a well known businessman and full of wisdom. Single friend has asked if I could arrange a coffee between them for her to ask some business questions.

They started at 3pm and when I called him an hour ago he said he was still with her. He was definitely drinking (could hear it in his voice). Texted him about 20 min ago and no reply.

AIBU in feeling single friend should shut the conversation down after finishing with her business queries and not spend Friday night drinking with my DH or am I just a psycho jealous crazy?

I'm prepared to get flamed for this. Blush

OP posts:
SimonLeBonOnAndOn · 28/10/2016 21:35

Totally agree with Lemon, poor form from both friend and DH.

AppleJac · 28/10/2016 21:43

That last text would piss me off.

Its very odd whats gone on tonight. Very poor behaviour from both of them

Original poster
AgainPlease · 28/10/2016 22:03

I ended up going out with a girlfriend for dinner locally and feel a bit better. Dreading coming home, don't know if he'll be in and passed out or still out.

OP posts:
Naicehamshop · 28/10/2016 22:06

Passed out?? Confused

To be honest, this is not sounding great op. Sad

Original poster
AgainPlease · 28/10/2016 22:22

He's not here Confused

OP posts:
witsender · 28/10/2016 22:23

I would be pissed off, and she doesn't sound like a friend to your marriage at this stage. Call him.

Donthate · 28/10/2016 22:27

Ring him

T0ldmywrath · 28/10/2016 22:34

I'm with you on this one OP. Your friend is grossly insensitive sending the "I love your dh" text. Your H is beyond the pale staying out with no word to you. I would be so upset & if my DH did this. He's still not home & he hasn't updated you? I'd not like them staying out drinking together in the first place.

What a plonker and a not very wise one at that.

Jackie0 · 28/10/2016 22:37

When we had IVF neither of us drank, his sperm quality is every bit as important as the quality of your eggs.
The text from your friend would have me ending the friendship.
The whole situation is horrible and completely dismissive of you,that isn't to say that he is cheating with her but they are both being selfish idiots.
It's not cool.

HomeShapedBox · 28/10/2016 22:37

Poor behaviour from your DH and your friend I think. I'd be fuming

Delatron · 28/10/2016 22:44

Mumsnet at its finest...No YANBU or needy.
He and she are both bang out of order. I would be fuming.

CurlySusanFox · 28/10/2016 22:53

This is pretty sad if you ask me. Not good communication from him at all

And yes, you stay in all 'IVF ready' and he's or getting pissed.

Are you sure about a child with this person?

Original poster
AgainPlease · 28/10/2016 22:55

I rang him. He said he'd come home soon (could be anywhere between 11pm and 3am). He, his mates, and my friend, ended at some wanky members club for dinner (nothing unusual here as this is typical for DH, just annoyed he is most likely footing the bill for everyone).

He said he tried to call me 4 times while I was out to dinner with friend but I had no reception on my phone in restaurant so don't know if he's being sincere. He then asked if I wanted to come and meet them for digestives, dessert, and cigars (yuck!). No thanks! I'm bloody annoyed, tired, have a headache, just took all my make-up off and I'm not schlepping it out to meet them.

OP posts:
PaulAnkaTheDog · 28/10/2016 23:03

Cackling atwell known business man...

2kids2dogsnosense · 28/10/2016 23:14

If he's been on the bevy,since 3 pm.. nothing is going to rise,,including the the moon

Dead right Fallon - he'll hardly be able to raise an eyebrow,le alone anything else.

But if I was OP, I would be furious.

Icksorry · 28/10/2016 23:21

I'd be sodding cross at his lack of consideration: he should have organised for you to be there in the first place to do introductions or just to be there as a friend/DW. Bit weird all round.

DavetheCat2001 · 28/10/2016 23:28

Yeah I have to say I'd be pretty naffed off too. He sounds a bit twatty.

Is he back yet OP?

heron98 · 28/10/2016 23:35

I don't see the problem. Genuinely. Is he not allowed to have fun? What difference does it make if the other person's single?

jeaux90 · 28/10/2016 23:39

With heron. I thinks it's fine. And it's entirely possible he did try and phone you while you had no reception. You can check his phone for places calls if you want to be sure x

advancetogo · 28/10/2016 23:53

Is he home yet OP?

SavageBeauty73 · 28/10/2016 23:55

I'm single and guess what I have lunch once a month with my very successful businessman friend. We often get drunk, we've never snogged.

T0ldmywrath · 29/10/2016 00:04

Bully for you savage.

Yes he's allowed to have fun but be more considerate. IVF should mean that he doesn't get drunk.

Cazz81 · 29/10/2016 00:06

If she is your friend, why can't she come over and have this discussion with you around? Why does she feel the need to be one to one with your dH ...

Shellym13 · 29/10/2016 00:18

Crumbs, I'm the only female at my work of 55 guys and I'd be mortified if I thought my work mates wives had visions of us all shacking up!
I'm happily married and we can actually exercise some restraint.

JanetStWalker · 29/10/2016 00:43

I'd be pissed off with him and her, YANBU in my book!

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