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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to tell my 12yo he's too old for trick or treating?

178 replies

pennyspent · 27/10/2016 21:44

My 12yo DS has been invited trick-or-treating by some friends, but I don't want him to go. In the past we've always gone out as a family (I have a 10yo too), but last year I told DS1 it was probably his last time. It's not just his age, but his height - he's almost 5' 9""! I think trick or treating is fine for little kids, going round the neighbours, but I don't like to see older kids and teens doing it.

I've said he can invite friends round to watch a Halloween movie instead. He's happy with the plan in principal, but so far everyone's said no because they're all going out trick or treating! Feeling bad about it. AIBU?

OP posts:
Mittensonastring · 30/10/2016 09:28

I really don't mind teens coming to the door. My DS is 15 and 6ft 2 and this is the second year we haven't been, I took a friends 6 year old last year. I'm decorating the house and giving out sweets.

My favourite year was when I dressed as a zombie and took him and four of his friends round as I'm short people also thought I was a young boy so the kids gave me a boys name and called me that all night.

Used to have really big Halloween parties, house would take couple of days to decorate, flying pumpkin piñata made. It's also one of the 3 days a year we eat those tinned hot dogs. I know they are shite but I love them.

Mindtrope · 30/10/2016 09:46

The random roaming around random people is definitely fairly recent.

No I did it as a child in the 1960s.

Terrifiedandregretful · 30/10/2016 09:59

I used to love Halloween with costumes and decorating the house and playing apple bobbing and apples on strings... We made turnip lanterns not pumpkin, harder work but the insides tastes nicer! Now you can't even get Halloween turnips in the shops. No one trick or treated except some American friends of ours. I want the old Halloween back! (And I don't want to have to roam the streets with dd when she's older!)

ClashCityRocker · 30/10/2016 10:13

We went t or t-ing until about 14.

Certainly 12 isn't too old for it.

We always stuck to the decorated houses and locally kids still do the same. We don't put a pumpkin out and have never had any.

There are of course a small minority who do it in an anti-social manner. It would be a shame to spoil the enjoyment of the well-behaved majority because of this.

Maireadplastic · 30/10/2016 10:29

I assume all you Trick or Treating poopers will be making Guys next Sat.

TheImpossibleGhoul · 30/10/2016 10:40

I'm really pleased that my teens want to go trick or treating. They grow up so fast it's nice to see them still being children.

They know the rules, only knock on houses with pumpkins, be polite, say Happy Halloween. It's popular around here and there's never been any trouble.

I also have no problem with 6ft tall boys knocking on my door for sweets, it's hard enough for teens as it is, they are still kids.

Maireadplastic · 30/10/2016 10:55

I'm with you Impossible.

Gwenhwyfar · 30/10/2016 12:22

Teenagers egged my windows one Halloween. I think I might be quite scared if a 5 foot 9 male that I didn't know came to my door.

PigletWasPoohsFriend · 30/10/2016 12:26

I assume all you Trick or Treating poopers will be making Guys next Sat.

How about stop sneering at others choices.

You may want to celebrate Halloween, others don't.

Some have very good reasons for not liking it.

Chickoletta · 30/10/2016 12:26

Mairead - No, won't be doing that either. Not really a straightforward comparison though is it?

WLF46 · 30/10/2016 12:27

You are completely correct, he is far to old to go trick or treating. It is one thing for young children to go round with their parents, it is another thing for a group of teenagers and near-teenagers prowling the estate demanding sweets and money from strangers.

If he insists on being petulant, tell him he can go out with his mates... but only if you tag along with them to make sure they don't do anything they shouldn't. That will shut him up.

Serialweightwatcher · 30/10/2016 12:28

My eldest stopped last year at 15 and my youngest who is 13 is going out with his friends - eldest was 6 foot last year but I don't think it matters as long as they are decent and polite and sensible - I wouldn't mind teens coming here if they're not out to cause problems

Dozer · 30/10/2016 12:29

How old were Michael and his BMX riding friends in ET? Definitely teens, although they were also asked to take charge of two younger DC and an alien.

Dozer · 30/10/2016 12:29

Loved that bit of the film.

EllebellyBeeblebrox · 30/10/2016 12:31

Meh, as long as he's not in a terrifying blood drenched costume I think young teens are ok to still be doing it.

Rachyabbadabbadoo · 30/10/2016 17:40

Wouldn't mind at all, but I think a big factor is the time limit. Anything after 8.30pm starts to get a bit annoying/worrying, etc.

intheknickersoftime · 30/10/2016 18:47

My dd is 14 and missing cadets to go trick or treating! DS is 12 and going with his friends. We are ready with pumpkins, sweets and dec's from poundland. Bring on the fun, they grow up too fast as a pp said.

Willow2016 · 30/10/2016 20:24

WLF46:
He will be going out with siblings or friends. Not turning up at a pensioners doorstep in a hoodie and scream mask weilding a cleaver!

Why does everyone presume just because he is older that he will be knocking over old ladies to grab the sweets?

Jeeze we have teens round here and they are all dressed up and polite. Its fun for kids. And at 12 they are still kids. Why is everyone ok with a 10/11 yr old but a 12yr old or older suddenly becomes a terrifying threat? Would you really know the age difference? My friends eldest was 6' before he started high school at 12, should he have stayed at home cos he was tall at 11?

Roll on tomorrow night Smile

sandbagsatdawn · 30/10/2016 20:38

I'm not convinced 12 is too old. My DD is 10 and I can't imagine her being considered too old in two years time. But, she is tiny and not likely to be particularly scary to anyone, and I would feel bad not letting her go with her younger siblings.

It's tricky though as I could imagine being slightly nervous on opening the door to a group of teens wearing proper scary costumes and facepaint. I think one larger child with some smaller children would not be too bad though.

Maybe it would be more acceptable if they were going to an organised event either a party or a zombie crawl or similar. Maybe for next year look out for something locally and encourage him and his friends to go to it.

WilburIsSomePig · 30/10/2016 20:41

Aw he's only 12! Let him go out with his pals!

sandbagsatdawn · 30/10/2016 20:41

Dozer, true but that's in America, everyone, even the adults dress up there.

AbernathysFringe · 31/10/2016 00:16

I'd say 12 was the limit, but also,. it makes a difference if they only go to houses who have decorated outside to show it's welcome rather than potentially intimidating strangers. But age-wise it should be a thing for children. not teens.

Awwlookatmybabyspider · 31/10/2016 00:19

Why is he too old. He's 12. He's not 22.

crunched · 31/10/2016 00:36

There is no age limit.
And the "heightism" on this thread is extreme.
(16 yo DD 5"11", & DS 6"3 , so you can see my sensitivity on the subject Sad)

DamePastel · 31/10/2016 07:57

I d9nt mind mind answering the door to teens! Their costumes are different to the usual vampires skeletons and witches from the tinies