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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to tell my 12yo he's too old for trick or treating?

178 replies

pennyspent · 27/10/2016 21:44

My 12yo DS has been invited trick-or-treating by some friends, but I don't want him to go. In the past we've always gone out as a family (I have a 10yo too), but last year I told DS1 it was probably his last time. It's not just his age, but his height - he's almost 5' 9""! I think trick or treating is fine for little kids, going round the neighbours, but I don't like to see older kids and teens doing it.

I've said he can invite friends round to watch a Halloween movie instead. He's happy with the plan in principal, but so far everyone's said no because they're all going out trick or treating! Feeling bad about it. AIBU?

OP posts:
PurpleTraitor · 28/10/2016 23:34

Anyone can trick or treat me and it makes no difference if they are 4, 14 or 40.

I have been trick or treating every year since I was a child and I'm not going to stop now.

Cherrysoup · 28/10/2016 23:48

I hate the whole thing. Why is it ok to knock on someone's door (and we have some persistent ones round here who keep knocking) and beg for sweets? Go and buy your own, I'm not providing sweets for random kids! I find it weird and anti-social and it sets off the dogs every blasted time.

woowoowoo · 29/10/2016 01:16

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

PeachyTheSanctiMoanyArse · 29/10/2016 09:17

My 13 year old will go, but he is shorter and it's a tiny place where we live so many will know he has SN; he will also have his 8 year old brother, and his 15 year old brother will take them but not in costume.

I'd let him, but mine only go where there are pumpkins or they are known anyway.

NicknameUsed · 29/10/2016 09:37

DD loves Halloween. Like woowoos children it is as exciting as Christmas to her. She is 16 and is having 3 friends round for a Halloween sleepover tonight.

I have managed to persuade her that she is too old for trick or treating though.

SpunkyMummy · 29/10/2016 11:48

YABU!

You can't punish your son for his height!

Nikki1171 · 29/10/2016 12:07

If your DS is young enough to want to dress up and knock on doors for the chance of receiving a few sweets then he is still young enough to do it. Makes me laugh that people don't like teens doing it - how harmless and childlike is it to want to dress up for some chewy sweets. Let him enjoy it while he wants to do it - he'll soon be too cool to want to!

Maireadplastic · 29/10/2016 17:44

By telling him he can't go you are telling him he's a problem. Boys get enough of this as it is, don't let his parents add to it.

Cleanermaidcook · 29/10/2016 17:54

Interesting thread, personally I don't let my kids go trick or treating at all. Could he dress up and answer the door to people who call on you? Thats what we do, we also usually have a little party with games where the kids can win sweets so they don't miss out on treats. I just don't see how it's right to tell them all year not to speak to strangers or take things from them then at Halloween it's suddenly fine to do this? mixed messages.

robinia · 29/10/2016 18:22

Mine have never been trick or treating. But they did all the getting dressed up and decorating the porch/front path. Then on the night they make up a little scenario and act it out to anyone who comes by. Sweets are only taken by those brave enough ;) Scenario is tamed down for littlies. So they have just as much fun. I make sure there are some sweets for them too. And I don't have to wander the streets on a cold night :D

Tapandgo · 29/10/2016 22:10

Hate the idea of kids knocking on random doors disturbing people who might be trying to sleep from working night shifts, who might be ill or simply trying to get peace in the own home. It's a total pain ...... but it's not what OP asked so ......

let the US have this irritating practice back

Chopstick17 · 29/10/2016 22:27

YABU, just tell him to stick to the houses that are joining in i.e pumpkins outside. i also think that when some older teens dress up in really horrific outfits it is a bit scary to answer the door so keep the costume tame.

Chickoletta · 29/10/2016 22:30

YANBU. I may not be the best judge of this one though as I passionately hate Halloween and regard trick or treating as glorified begging. Very glad that we'all be away camping this year so will miss the whole tacky, Americanised pile of shit. I have, however, had to deal with my 3 yr old being really terrified by a realistic rotting prisoner hanging from a noose in Sainsbury's. WTAF were they thinking?

Chopstick17 · 29/10/2016 22:39

I know what you mean chick I don't mind Halloween as I know it and grew up with. That was a bit of fun dressed as a witch or a cat, apple bobbing in the kitchen and a toffee apple as a treat if we were lucky. I don't like how spooky has been translated as horror in recent years. some costumes as i said in my last post are truly horrific.

waterrat · 29/10/2016 22:44

I am surprised by this thread. I absolutely think 12 is too old - I would be really pissed off if kids of 12 or over knocked on my door.

I don't mind under 10s coming round but honestly after thst it's not nice. I have very young children and reallt don't want teenagers demanding sweets at our door after dark. If I thought teenagers were going to knock I'd not answer to anyone.

Maireadplastic · 29/10/2016 23:00

Hallowe'en isn't American. It's massive in Ireland, Spain and Italy. It's also really simple, don't put a pumpkin out and don't answer the door if you don't want to take part.

neweymcnewname · 29/10/2016 23:04

So, if you hate trick or treaters coming round, you can buy or write a little sign which says 'no trick or treaters please', and that will likely do the trick (I have never known any actual 'trick'ing happen round here, to those who don't join in).

It's great fun for kids and teens, one night a year - the only time when i see mixed age groups from about 8 - 18 all having fun together (and often the big ones gently telling the little ones not to take too many, and to say thank you :-) ).
There are much worse things going on in the world :-).
It's a shame the costumes have got so scarey, but that's a separate problem.

Tapandgo · 29/10/2016 23:26

dont answer the door if you don't want to take part - folks on night shift or with babies just to get off to sleep or even some elderly or vulnerable people really don't want people disturbing their peace. Banging on doors disturbs their peace). I'm sure parents can find other ways to celebrate Halloween without annoying others. (The 'don't put a pumpkin out doesn't work' ) Nobody is saying don't celebrate it - just find a way of doing it that's not a social nuisance to many

SecondaryQuandary · 30/10/2016 07:31

Hallowe'en isn't American. It's massive in Ireland, Spain and Italy. It's also really simple, don't put a pumpkin out and don't answer the door if you don't want to take part.

Err not our experience in Barcelona two years ago. We visited during Halloween with a Spanish friend, and our three children greatly amused the many establishments they visited as most had not a clue what trick or treat was.....

Tapandgo · 30/10/2016 07:49

Hallowe'en isn't American. It's massive in Ireland, Spain and Italy. It's also really simple, don't put a pumpkin out and don't answer the door if you don't want to take part. The huge push on Halloween to be 'celebrated' here the way it is now came from scary movies made in the USA like Halloween - it is a very recent thing here. Before that it was about putting on a false face and ducking for apples - but it was all based in your own home - not about bothering your neighbours

Maireadplastic · 30/10/2016 07:57

I said Hallowe'en.

Mindtrope · 30/10/2016 08:00

Tapandgo- trick or treating or "guising" has been a Halloween activity in the UK for hundreds of years.
My grandmother was born in 1890 and would go around neighbours doors for apples and sweets at Halloween.

MrEBear · 30/10/2016 08:01

Halloween / Guising has always been big in Scotland. Although it has become very Americanised in the last few years. With decorations and going to random houses we only went to people we knew.
To get your Halloween you have to provide a moments entertainment, poem, song, or more common is a crap joke!

Personally I'd say 12/13 is about the oldest I'd expect to arrive at my door. I have a funny feeling last year we had a lone adult who we both felt weird about, was he casing the joint or did he have learning difficulties. Honestly its not normal for adults to go out for their Halloween. But given people on here seem to think it's normal I think I will be telling him to "go and grow up" if he turns up again.

Tapandgo · 30/10/2016 08:14

Grew up in Scotland and trick or treating was unheard of when I was a child. My nieces and nephews however did it as kids - but just to other family of friends and they performed poem or similar for a treat. The random roaming around random people is definitely fairly recent. However I guess it depends were you live - my horror stories about it all come from other people who get plagued by nuisance door bangers and sometimes worse.

Ohyesiam · 30/10/2016 08:24

I once opened the door to a group of late teen boys. All taller than me, and all with masks on. It was a b bit intimidating.. But no mask, and until they are about 16 is fine, I think.

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