To drink wine in the park?

[FlapsTie]

We've walked two miles to the good park. We stopped at the shop to buy the essentials (milk, water and wine). I have cups with me so the kids can have a drink. They've been in the park for an hour and we have another hour to go before DH picks us up.

Just how bad would it be to pour myself a glass of vino? I am bored shitless. Will everybody judge me and will I be an awful parent?

If it matters, the wine is still nice and cold. Although the plastic cup may mar the taste somewhat. I'm sitting outside the actual play park with the dog.

AIBU? Would you?

Op please don't give up.

I rarely drink because an alcoholic caused so many problems in our family. I am terrified of turning into that.

But please don't give up. You can do this.

.

Get some help before it's too late op.

It really isn't financial abuse. We (I) have more than 15k on credit cards. I am the epitome of 'monkey see, monkey want'. It's pathetic.

I'm here strong - another recovering alcoholic, OP. Don't be hard on yourself - you want to change, and from that position, amazing things can happen. I used to mix vodka with Sprite and swig it in soft play centres with my DS. It's awful - that uncontrollable, obsessive desire for booze. You are not alone.

Agree with everything strong said, re: meetings. They are all very different; I've been to several I've enjoyed and others, less so. I also have an Addaction key worker as I relapsed earlier this year after four bloody years of being sober. I promise it gets easier the further you are away from your last drink.

If anyone's financially abusive in our marriage, it's me.

jane, we don't know the full details so perhaps Flaps' Husband is desperate and doing what he thinks is best for her.

Would you agree Flaps?

She doesn't need to be told to "control her spending", as if it was just a matter of sneakily buying a bar of chocolate when you're trying to shift that final 5 pounds, jane, please don't be obtuse.

Absolutely.

And thank you again to everyone. I'm reading and digesting it all.

Xpost!

Please don't beat yourself up, bipolar alone is enough to floor anyone, but to also be trying to manage addiction you must be a superhero! Try and be kind to yourself, and take whatever help is there. You sound lovely

Vodka in a soft play centre Jess? I'll raise you a homemade 'cocktail' in a thermos to meet Santa outside the sure start centre last Christmas. It's classy cos it's warm, like mulled wine

Seriously op. Please keep posting because, for me at least, talking honestly on here led to talking honestly to people face to face. I'm shit at links but if you mn search my name and the words 'daughter, vomit and potty' I think you'll find my thread that got the ball rolling.

Hiya FlapsTie
If you feel like joining us over on the Dry thread you'd be very welcome - it is for people who have completely stopped though.

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/2726334-Dry-15

It's really supportive and I don't think I would have got to 290 days sober without it. People are also non judgemental - we've all screwed up in the past - but encourage each other to look towards the future and enjoy the present.

Otherwise there is a Brave Babes thread for those cutting down.

Best of luck.

Hi OP,

sounds like a good plan, to discuss with your cpn. You can also try joining us on the dry 15 thread.

Lots of support from other people who are giving up drinking. With the support I've got from there, I've been sober for nearly 6 months. You can do this, but you do need support.

This thread has definitely restored my faith in mumsnet.

You posted this thread for validation, but you've shown a great insight into yourself, don't be too hard on yourself tonight.

Be honest with yourself and take it all step by step. Addiction is utterly evil but you can get through to the other side, you just have to want it.

Oh FlapsTie your post makes me so very sad. Sad for you and your husband and your kids. I have an image of them playing away in the park, innocent kids, while all this is unfolding around them. Sad for your husband as I am sure he has no clue what to do for the best and he is probably scared and fed up. And sad for you as it is just shit to be dependent on drink.

My father is a recovering alcoholic.

Kids absorb the atmosphere even if you think they don't.

I got a bit tearful thinking about that sad, tense dinner at yours. I guess it brought back memories.

Please, please get the help you need. You can do it! My dad is 12 years sober now and his life is transformed x

Thinking of you and your family x

strong Yes, do read strong's thread, OP - it helped me enormously. Can anyone do the link to windfallenarch's one, as well? Both great threads where we have the honour of watching these women (and myself) realise we have an issue, and then taking steps to change our lives.

And cookie, thanks for the link, I'll join you!

Jane How about you stop and think before posting.

for you OP. I hope you get the help you need.

Oh, love. You sound so defeated. Please don't give up. It sounds as though you are coping with some huge challenges, but you know that alcohol will only make everything worse. You can overcome this addiction. You really can. But you need support and help.

I wish I could offer more than virtual support. But there are people IRL who can help you.

Impulsive spending can be a symptom of bipolar disorder. Lots of spouses with this condition that I know of relinquish financial control to their partners. It's a way to manage the condition.

Not all of the time necessarily but it's not as black and white as some of the responses suggest.

Good luck OP. Don't be so hard on yourself. You have a health condition and not a weakness of character.

Piglet I'm entitled to post my opinions as you are yours. And I stand by all my posts on this thread.

jane, not supportive posts are they?