To see part time hours as a necessity not a luxury

[Mollymoo78]

I work at a nursery three days a week on minimum wage. It's very much a job of convenience and I've recently been offered full time hours. Despite needing the money I've turned it down. I just can't face doing it full time, the thought fills me with dread and I know I'll be miserable. I need two days a week to catch up on jobs and just have breathing space and stay sane. Trouble is certain full time colleagues feel that I should have taken full time hours and I'm letting them down and being lazy (that's what they imply in their comments). I always worked full time prior to having children (doing office work) but since having children and being a sahm for quite a while I seem to have more to do and more of a need to finally have time of my own. Is it lazy and selfish and ultimately unreasonable to feel this way?

You have just one shot at life so logically you should make it the best that you feasibly can (subject obviously to family commitments etc.). I know you say that you need the money but if you can manage financially on part-time then bugger what your (jealous) co-workers are saying, enjoy it. Working full-time because you feel obliged to is daft, particularly when it would make you feel like crap. If the money is an issue then maybe you could find some other way of making a bit extra that won't impact on your sanity?

Agreed full time is a fakes promise unless your children are high school age and are able to sort them selfs out

You get more money but your paying more for childcare not to mention the hassle of getting up early doors to get to work the stress of a teachers strike or a snow day thinking shit what will I do tbh I am just looking for pt work

I will pretty much still have to do all the house hold chorus plus and the things to do with the kids that I do now so full time is not viable really and I don't really want to miss school plays and assembly's

ElizaDontlittle - Science, specifically bioinformatics. I have always loved stats and biology (particularly genetics and epigenetics) so I am doing a Natural Sciences (Biology) BSc with the OU and I am learning a couple of computer programming languages with smaller online courses, then I am aiming to do a Systems Biology and Bioinformatics MRes at Birkbeck. I will be early 40s by the time I am done so I am hoping I have not left it too late.

Wish posters would read all the thread - or at least just the OP's posts.

She has clearly stated she meant "Part time is a necessity for me and my sanity".

Just because you are superwoman, it doesn't mean everybody is.

The fishwifes- snow days or strikes can happen on days when a part time worker is due in work, so aren't really a valid reason for not working full time.

Ultimately, there are upsides and downsides to everything- and it seems up to each family to decide what works for them to give everyone in the family a good life.

What comes across loud and clear from the OP though is that it's not the hours, it's the job which is the problem. I would much rather work full time in an interesting job than part time in one I disliked.

Be really honest with yourself OP, and look at the root of the problem. There are perfectly legitimate reasons for working part time- having very small children, having a fulfilling career which allows for you to be part time and pays well enough for you to fund it... but disliking your job is a pretty sad reason

but disliking your job is a pretty sad reason Sadly that is a reality for many people. I detest every moment I am at work so am hoping to drop a day. I don't have kids either.

I'm beginning to get very cynical about all the media attacks I see on part-time and zero-hour contracts just lately. Of course people with kids need family time to see them: of course the kids need to see their parents. What exactly is wrong with working part-time if you are covering your own bills? In a time when there are not enough jobs to go round and professionals are having to work harder and harder, high stress occupations like teaching and medical are reporting serious burn-out, why isn't more part-time work availability seen as an obvious solution? It's all very strange.

I totally understand your need for 'sanity space'. It's your choice, and nobody else's business.

Bungo- I don't think anyone is saying there's anything wrong with working p/t if your household income enables it and it works for everyone in your family.

However, I personally feel that the burn-out reason is a worrying one- because it's not right that people feel obliged to work part time, with all the disadvantages that entails, simply because the job is too much to cope with full time. I see it quite a bit with female (why is it always the females?) colleagues in my sphere - teaching. A high proportion only work part time (and I'm talking colleagues of my age, with adult children) because they feel they can't do a good enough job full time. It's terrible really- I watch them spend their days off doing prep and marking, yet they take home part time wages,their pensions are shot to pieces and they've pretty much kissed goodbye to any career progression. There is something very wrong with that situation. it doesn't feel like a considered choice- more exploitation.

My boss has asked me to go full time but I won't. I hate it and suck up the three days I'm there. It suits me until the dc's start secondary school.

I don't think she's noticed the vast majority of our full timers leave after a short period tbh. Our office environment is neither fulfilling or stimulating.

It's hardly a necessity, in fact as you say you need the money I'd have thought taking the full time hours are more of a necessity. That said I wouldn't say it makes you selfish or even lazy and don't think it's your colleagues place to make any comment on the situation. I currently work four days (would prefer three but can't afford it) and I consider it a luxury to have one day in the week at home with my DS to play with and get stuff done.

Full time is a necessity for me

Lone parents often don't have the luxury of deciding to go part-time

Your colleagues are unreasonable and you are not being lazy or letting them down.

However I have to disagree about part time being a necessity. I work part time and it is a luxury IMHO. I had to go back full time after redundancy and I still count my blessings my boss agreed to let me go part time.

If you really needed financially to work full time then you would get by as a lot of other full time working parents do.

It's a luxury if you 'need the money' but can still afford to turn it down. I think the real issue is that a lot of women are partnered up with sexist men so they end up working PT and doing all the lifework in the relationship and thus, working more hours than the main earner.

30
It's a luxury if you 'need the money' but can still afford to turn it down. I think the real issue is that a lot of women are partnered up with sexist men so they end up working PT and doing all the lifework in the relationship and thus, working more hours than the main earner.🍪😳

Most women earn less than men also most women want to be avaible for there children maybe your dh is sexist just because not all women want don power suits and climb the greecey pole as if the only reason 100% of women are not working full time is because of there sexist husbands 😳Some people actually like being around for there children

I work four days a week, two of them from home. Certain colleagues call me "part timer", I ignore them. I couldn't face five days now and certainly not five days in the office (massive commute). Of course the money would be great but we manage okayish on what we have. I have huge respect for full time workers with big commutes and young families, it must be exhausting.

I'm literally about to change my job from full time (44 hrs pw) to pt (30) and I'm so nervous. But in my case I have to do it for sake of my family & my health

Billyray when I'm at work I work really hard and people say I'm wonderful with the children (hence I guess the full time offer). I more than pull my weight and have fun with the children too. If I'm tired I don't let it show. Three days a week is fine - five days is just too much for me. We have lots of children with behavioural issues. Maybe this does mean it's not for me long term but I need something in school hours as I have to pick the children up and right now this is the best option. I was lucky to get the job my hardest every day so please don't think my work is compromised.

I work 4 very full days a week. I worked 5 days a week until my daughter was 6 because that was the only option at the time. When the opportunity came to work 4 days I took it immediately.

When I worked 5 days I was always exhausted and never had time for anything. I would quite often be hanging washing out at 12pm. I was quite miserable.

Working 4 days means I have a day to catch up and organise things so that I have lots of free time to spend with DD at the weekends. I think most people would find working 1 less day a week makes a huge difference to their quality of life.

Obviously this means we have a bit less money as I don't claim any benefits, but we still get by fine. The extra day's pay was usually spent on unnecessary things. Plus now I have a day off I am able to do the supermarket shop child free and organise things better so I spend less money.

I work 30 hours.

'Most women earn less than men also most women want to be avaible for there children maybe your dh is sexist just because not all women want don power suits and climb the greecey pole as if the only reason 100% of women are not working full time is because of there sexist husbands 😳Some people actually like being around for there children'

It has nothing at all to do with big careers or how good a mother you are. If you can afford to turn down FT work to work PT, it's a luxury. Your post implies that women who work FT are not good parents and don't like being around for their children.

It's a luxury by definition, however, it isn't anyone else's business what you choose to do nor should you feel bad about it.

If I look after myself I earn more. I do that best by working part time, having a good family/work /life balance, an organised home and plenty down time for me and exercise.
If I get frazzled and stressed than my work suffers, and I earn less.
If I keep my head in a good place the £££s flow in.

My OH is a good earner, but is away most weeks for 3 or 4 nights. I have no family, so I have to do most of the housework/child stuff.

Why isnt your boss sorting out your colleagues? They have no right to make yopui feel uncomfortable about the hours you work.
Of course YANBU. Do whats right for you. People forget how hard it is when your kids are younger.