Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To see part time hours as a necessity not a luxury

270 replies

Mollymoo78 · 27/10/2016 00:08

I work at a nursery three days a week on minimum wage. It's very much a job of convenience and I've recently been offered full time hours. Despite needing the money I've turned it down. I just can't face doing it full time, the thought fills me with dread and I know I'll be miserable. I need two days a week to catch up on jobs and just have breathing space and stay sane. Trouble is certain full time colleagues feel that I should have taken full time hours and I'm letting them down and being lazy (that's what they imply in their comments). I always worked full time prior to having children (doing office work) but since having children and being a sahm for quite a while I seem to have more to do and more of a need to finally have time of my own. Is it lazy and selfish and ultimately unreasonable to feel this way?

OP posts:
AmberEars · 27/10/2016 06:49

Agree with everyone else, it's your decision and absolutely nothing to do with your co workers.

I work part time and I love it. I do feel lucky to have the option, and I do love my two days off a week, but the main reason I do it is so that I can pick up my DC from school some days rather than them going to after school childcare every single day. My days off are a happy bonus!

minnymoobear · 27/10/2016 06:56

I'm hoping to be able to go part time or do Condensed hours so I can have a work free day and have some time for me and to sort out the house stuff so weekends are more fun and about doing stuff rather than catching up from the weeek - waaay too exhausting for me doing FT with 3 growing kids who need more time from me and with me

OohNoDooEy · 27/10/2016 06:58

Part time is a luxury in my eyes. I have no choice but to work full time and it is a juggling act. I am jealous of part timers and get annoyed when they complain about being too busy outside of work. To me they have so much time.

gingerh4ir · 27/10/2016 07:05

Despite needing the money I've turned it down.

but working p/t is a luxury for you if you actually really needs the money, isn't it?

I work p/t because one of my DC us severely disabled and we cannot access wrap around childcare.

You didn't mention such obstacles. I dont understand why you wouldn't work the full hours if the money is actually needed. If you didn't need the money it would be different but you say you do.

Mummyoflittledragon · 27/10/2016 07:13

I'm chronically ill. Don't go out to work. My health and my family are my job. We all do what we can. Would changing jobs help?

Hrafnkel · 27/10/2016 07:13

But part timers are presumably making other sacrifices.

My colleague overheard a 'day off tomorrow!' comment I made to a fellow part timer. He commented on how lucky we are and was most affronted when I pointed out that my pay was correspondingly smaller.

YANBU. There is no way I would work full time again, presuming we can cope on my pt contribution.

YellowCrocus · 27/10/2016 07:18

I work from home for 32 hours a week which is the absolute maximum I can manage and still run the house myself. Any more than this and I would need childcare and a cleaner, which would negate the extra I would earn. Most families I know have one parent who works part time. It's horses for courses though. Whatever works for you.

myownprivateidaho · 27/10/2016 07:21

I agree with ginger that if you are short of money turning down full-time work because you need time on your own is a luxury. There's nothing inherently wrong with that, and it's got nothing to do with your colleagues. But I guess you have to consider whether its the best position for yourself and your family. Given your comment about how you'd be too miserable having to go to work full-time, I wonder if it would be worth seeing your GP about depression? Extreme fatigue and feeling unable to cope are symptoms of this.

FaithAscending · 27/10/2016 07:22

beebeeeight I can't speak for the OP but in our house I do the donkey share of the housework/cooking etc. That's because I work PT but DH does 50+ hours a week. He's on a good wage so it makes sense for me to work less hours and keep on top of the house. He still contributes, especially when I'm at work, doing washing/the dishwasher etc but he's shattered so I do more!

Mindtrope · 27/10/2016 07:24

Every family is different. I would struggle full time, but I have friends who manage it fine. Finding a balance that works for you and your family is they key.

MsJamieFraser · 27/10/2016 07:24

I work full time, I also run a business and a junior football club, (23 teams), I'm also a mum to 2 very active boys, you just make the time if you WANT to make the time.

But no PT is in no way a necessity, and it's odd tonne that you think this.

Tliev · 27/10/2016 07:25

I agree with you OP. I currently work full time and I just feel that I have no time to do anything else other than work. I work Monday to Friday 8.30 until 5.30 and one full weekend in every 3. Every time the dc's have an appointment I'm stuck having to ask my mum to take them as I'm never off work. Yesterday I was wanting to order a meat hamper online but couldn't get past the delivery date as there is never anyone in. On the weekends I am off, I'm stuck racing round trying to catch up on everything at home like the mountains of washing etc that piles up over the week.

I have been asking DH forever if I can go part time, even just drop one day a week (just to go down to 30 hours) and he has always said no. Yesterday however he came to me saying he's realised we just can't function like this and could I look into going part time.

Tryittwice · 27/10/2016 07:27

When people used to make digs when I was part time, I used to say, yes and I'm on 40% less salary than you. And any problems regarding my work, see my boss.

Basicbrown · 27/10/2016 07:29

Are your colleagues very young? It is the only possible excuse for their level of narrow mindedness. Can't you politely tell them where to get off? Offer a life swap for a week or something (as I am assuming you do the lion share with DC and round the house)

Mindtrope · 27/10/2016 07:31

PT is a necessity for me and my family.

Full time wouldn't work for me.

NoahVale · 27/10/2016 07:33

i dont think age makes any difference to narrow mindedness.
the thought of full time feels me with dread too. i havent done it for years. am noting the comments on here, that Whatever works for your situation.

Mindtrope · 27/10/2016 07:39

I have been asking DH forever if I can go part time, even just drop one day a week (just to go down to 30 hours) and he has always said no

Ouch. You need his permission?

Ditsy4 · 27/10/2016 07:42

If they mention it again just smile and say
"I work full time I just don't get paid for my other job."
I worked part time until my children were older then stepped the hours up when more became available and I was ready to do that. Now I have a day a week off and I'm loving it. I also feel much better as I was really tired last year. It means the house stays tidier and sometimes I go out and meet up with a friend for lunch.
I wonder ... Do they have children?

Lovefromhull · 27/10/2016 07:44

Mindtrope- a decision like that is a joint decision. I couldn't just change work/ money/ household situation without a discussion first.

OddBoots · 27/10/2016 07:52

I only work 3 days a week in Early Years but I am physically disabled and study an OU degree for a career change (to something more suitable as my disability progresses) too so those I work with understand. Even if they didn't understand though it is a personal choice. I think it benefits the setting I am in to have me part time because I am willing to change my days or work overtime when they need it so they get a lot more flexibility from me.

bottleofredplease · 27/10/2016 07:52

I work part ( 9:30-2:30) if I worked longer hours it would involve paying for after school care so wouldn't be worth it at all.

misson · 27/10/2016 07:54

Imo part time working is a luxury and not a necessity for the vast majority of people.

I work part time. I have been offered full time hours but declined. Lots of stuff to do, only so much time.

What does annoy me (and I will probably be flamed for this) is when people choose to work part time and then claim benefits.

Tliev · 27/10/2016 07:55

waves at just from hull 😄 --with love from kingswood* 😊

Mindtrope, he would always be a twat and say "well. A year I should drop to part time then if it's that easy!" Knowing full well that he earns double what I earn and we couldn't afford for him to drop his hours.

KittyAlPick · 27/10/2016 07:57

Mollymoo, the bit that worries me most about your post is that you say it is very much a job of convenience and that the thought of full time fills you with dread.

Do you like this job at all? Working with small children is very full on and the most tiring work I ever did. It sounds like you feel the same if you're exhausted after one day.

You said that you used to work in an office environment - have you thought of trying to get a P/T admin job instead? You're working with adults and it's a much calmer atmosphere. Even if it's only min wage you'd be no worse off than now financially and you may find that (after you've settled in to the routine) you still have energy at the end of the day. It worked for me.

NoahVale · 27/10/2016 08:03

What does annoy me (and I will probably be flamed for this) is when people choose to work part time and then claim benefits.
mission
sometimes people Are caught between a rock and hard place, It is a trap. You surely must be aware of that. if you earn X amount and receive X amount benefits. Sometimes it isnt simply worth people working More hours when there is the Trap of benefits.
but who doesnt know that?

Swipe left for the next trending thread