to care about peoples sexual history?

[Relicfromspace]

To give a bit of background, I'm a single dad, 31 and have been single for four years. Previous to this I've been in two relationships, and those are the only women I've slept with.

Now I've recently tried the whole internet dating thing, and more often than not ex's come up (mainly because they're trying to understand why I'm a single dad and where the mum is).. I realise that in my early 30's having only slept with two people is lower than the average. I'm not too concerned about the number, just the whole idea of them doing one night stands/casual stuff. I've tried steering clear from the conversation, and did so successfully with one women who I went on a date with. Ended up adding each other on Facebook, she did some random quiz about how many sexual partners she had and it predicted 24, she and her friends commented on how that's probably a bit low. I know it's wrong, but I just couldn't see her after that.

How do I get over the fact that I'm the odd one out, and people have much more experience than me? Struggling here!

YABVU.

I have had quite a few one night stands. I went to uni in the 90s - what did you think I was doing? I met DP when I was 20/21 and have been with him for 20 years.

I'm not ashamed at having one night stands, why should I be? I've never had an STI of any kind. If it makes me a slag to have enjoyed my time when I was younger, then so be it. If I hadn't met DP, I wouldn't have seen anything wrong with not settling down until I was 30. As it was, DP was my soul mate and I knew straight away he was the one.

If she's 30 and had 30 sexual partners, that would still only be about 3 or 4 a year. Hardly Nell Gwynn, is she?

As for the person who said the amount of sexual partners shows how much they like sex, what a load of rubbish!

I've had a few sexual partners probably double digits and yet sex these days is probably once a month at most for me and DP. Even when he's not on deployment we're hardly making the Earth move every night. Sometimes you just want to slob in front of the telly and have your feet rubbed.

Loads of sexual partners means you've slept with a lot of people. That's it. It doesn't mean you're more likely to cheat or are riddled with diseases or any of the other nonsense I've seen on this thread.

Sorry but I agree. I've slept with 2 people who I've been utterly in love with. I couldn't have sex with someone without a massive connection and TBH it makes.me feel queasy when I think about all the potential people others have slept with if I was going to sleep with them myself.

I was with my DH for almost 20 years then before and and my 2nd partner even kissed we both had full sexual health screenings and she had only ever slept with one person too.

Not unreasonable- you can like what you like.

However, is give some thought to why this bothers you. If you see sex as some how lowering or demeaning the woman, that's quite concerning. If, on the other hand, you just see sex as something that should be between committed partners and want to try to find someone who feels the same, that seems fine to me (although you may be overly limiting the range of people you'd consider- quite normal for people to take different attitudes to this at different points in their life. Also quite normal to have different feelings about sex with a serious partner than with a ONS).

FWIW I'd find the FB thing off-putting, but because it's so cringey to put things like that on FB rather than the number of partners. Can't bear people who gossip about their sex lives- grim.