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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Mil has sickness bug - aibu to not want to go round on Sunday with my dc?

56 replies

Throughautomaticdoors · 26/10/2016 12:21

Mil has a sickness bug. She's still being sick now. We are meant to be going round for lunch on Sunday but I'm not very keen now tbh.
Even if she stops being sick today she won't really be 48 hours clear until Saturday morning and it's going into the house that worries me. Dd puts everything in her mouth at the moment too.
I can't really rely on Mil to tell the truth re when she stops being ill as she is quite selfish and will just want us to go round. When ds was newborn she didn't tell us about her stinking cold and then spent all afternoon blowing raspberries in her face. He then caught said cold and ended up in hospital with breathing difficulties...

Dh says I'm overreacting but he tends to prefer to upset me rather than his mother. Aibu to say leave it a week? Or even that we will go over in the week. Sunday just seems a bit near! Especially given it's Wednesday afternoon and she's still being sick...

OP posts:
Original poster
Throughautomaticdoors · 26/10/2016 12:28

And if it was either of my parents I'd feel exactly the same.

I will admit I have awful PND at the moment, which is centred around dd getting ill. If we go I will spend the next 72 hours absolutely beside myself. It's just in my experience people are contagious longer than 48 hours and it lives on surfaces much much much longer. I know you could pick it up anywhere but going into a house where I know it's recently been seems silly.

OP posts:
pumpkinpiesforsupper · 26/10/2016 12:32

No, YANBU.

I read the bugs live on hard surfaces for 12 days, my parents had it last week - I told them it'll be 12 days at least till we visit.

XinnaJane · 26/10/2016 12:34

Omg absolutely do not go! It's not use you all getting sick just to avoid upsetting your mil. Any normal person would understand.

blueturtle6 · 26/10/2016 12:34

If she's sick, surely she won't enjoy hosting for dinner, defo put off a week

JellyBelli · 26/10/2016 12:35

YANBU, you shouldnt have to deal with you and your family and a sickness bug. DH is being pretty silly about it.

Flingmoo · 26/10/2016 12:35

Oh god she sounds awful. If she won't take no for an answer and you don't feel assertive enough to simply put your foot down, maybe you could make up a different excuse.

WatchingFromTheWings · 26/10/2016 12:39

I wouldn't be going anywhere near until the following weekend, just to be sure!

Original poster
Throughautomaticdoors · 26/10/2016 12:39

I'm glad it isn't just me

OP posts:
Sandsnake · 26/10/2016 12:40

YANBU - don't go! Me, DH and 11mo DS have been passing around a tummy bug amongst us for nearly six weeks now. Just when we think it's gone one of us gets it again, despite using a ridiculous amount of hand sanitiser etc. It's not been pleasant and it's just not worth the risk. Family who have been brave enough to visit us have picked it up too, so I think it's very contagious.

Original poster
Throughautomaticdoors · 26/10/2016 12:40

Dh is all 'mum will be upset.'
But it won't be him up all night with vomiting children. I think I'm going to say I don't want to go. He will sulk but the thought of my baby being ill at the moment is just too horrific.

OP posts:
BorpBorpBorp · 26/10/2016 12:40

YANBU. I wouldn't be going even without dc.

pumpkinpiesforsupper · 26/10/2016 12:47

And if he is stupid enough to go, tell him he may as well stay at his mothers for a week because it's not worth bringing it home.

DartmoorDoughnut · 26/10/2016 12:49

Yanbu

Vintagegirl1 · 26/10/2016 12:53

Yanbu op! I had this issue many,many times with mil. Would be at deaths door apparently but we would still have to go for Sunday dinner or the emotional blackmail would begin. I am nc with my inlaws now,it's bliss.

Boredbeforeievenbegan · 26/10/2016 12:56

Yanbu! And your dh is silly for even thinking about going. Could you call mil yourself to tell her? That way you can cut out your dh reporting back how unhappy she is?!

TimetohittheroadJack · 26/10/2016 12:56

Any time I've had a sickness bug I want to curl up and die (or watch to eat junk once I'm being to feel better). I certainly wouldn't want my family coming to visit and having to clean/cook for them. Are you sure she wants to you come? Won't she be quite releaved if you phone up and say hope she's feeling better soon and hopefully you'll get together the following weekend?

TreadSoftlyOnMyDreams · 26/10/2016 12:57

How many vomiting children will your DH have to look after if you pick it up?

Simple statement of fact. "We wouldn't dream of coming to lunch when you need to recover from such a nasty bug and DC are bound to pick it up. You would feel terrible if you made baby x so sick...We can do X date instead?"

MrsJayy · 26/10/2016 13:00

Just makes sense not to go round really the virus might still be hanging around don't go.

PeachBellini123 · 26/10/2016 13:00

I agree with Timeto I've always felt grotty after a bug and very weak. I wouldn't want anyone round it would make me feel worse and I'd feel worried about them catching it!

YNBU - you need to put your foot down about this.

Sycamoretrees · 26/10/2016 13:00

Today's Wednesday, if she was last sick at 5pm today then 48 hours will be 5pm Friday, provided she cleans the house, lunch on Sunday should be no problem at all. Too early to make a call.

SquedgieBeckenheim · 26/10/2016 13:07

I wouldn't be risking it, especially with small children. Yes you can get bugs from anywhere, but silly to knowingly put yourself somewhere you know the people have had it. Children can become dehydrated from a sickness bug very quickly.

CheshireChat · 26/10/2016 13:44

But why risk it? It's not mandatory, you can facetime her for a bit of company and you don't risk making a small child ill. And I found it very hard to cope with a sick baby when I had PND so you have my sympathies OP.

user1474627704 · 26/10/2016 13:55

It's Wednesday. You're stretching a bit to be so adamant now.

user1474627704 · 26/10/2016 13:55

It's Wednesday. You're stretching a bit to be so adamant now.

DiscoMike · 26/10/2016 13:56

Say you'll meet her somewhere out of her house, to eat a meal cooked by someone else.