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AIBU?

Mil has sickness bug - aibu to not want to go round on Sunday with my dc?

56 replies

Throughautomaticdoors · 26/10/2016 12:21

Mil has a sickness bug. She's still being sick now. We are meant to be going round for lunch on Sunday but I'm not very keen now tbh.
Even if she stops being sick today she won't really be 48 hours clear until Saturday morning and it's going into the house that worries me. Dd puts everything in her mouth at the moment too.
I can't really rely on Mil to tell the truth re when she stops being ill as she is quite selfish and will just want us to go round. When ds was newborn she didn't tell us about her stinking cold and then spent all afternoon blowing raspberries in her face. He then caught said cold and ended up in hospital with breathing difficulties...

Dh says I'm overreacting but he tends to prefer to upset me rather than his mother. Aibu to say leave it a week? Or even that we will go over in the week. Sunday just seems a bit near! Especially given it's Wednesday afternoon and she's still being sick...

OP posts:

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Dontpanicpyke · 31/10/2016 23:44

God why would she want you all if she's been sick? It would be utterly selfish for you to visit so don't.

BareBum · 31/10/2016 22:30

Did you go?

Looneytune253 · 28/10/2016 08:01

Logically though I think it's more like 24 hours to be clear of a bug esp if it's a grown-up with (hopefully) better hygiene. If you get stuck going, try not to worry too much. Make sure she's bleached her bathroom and washed her own hands etc. I worry about these things A LOT too lol but always try to rationalise it where I can to stop the fretting.

TirednessIsComing · 28/10/2016 07:58

I wouldn't especially when you know she has form for not bring truthful with sickness. She may still be having symptoms. Your dh could go and if he gets sick then he might think twice. Only down side is if he goes get sick you probably will too.

CurbsideProphet · 28/10/2016 07:10

YANBU. I recently had viral gastroenteritis for a fortnight and it was absolutely grim. I barely left the house and didn't have any visitors, as I didn't want to give it to anyone else.

Chottie · 28/10/2016 07:08

I would definitely not go. Why can't you just give her a ring to see how she is and rearrange the date?

Surely MiL won't want you to go round there when she's a had a sickness bug?

BubbleGumBubble · 28/10/2016 07:02

If she os 48 hours clear i would suggest meeting her somewhere for lunch on Sunday.
Then everyone is happy.

WiMoChi · 28/10/2016 06:43

YADNBU! Do not go! I avoid anyone who's been sick for two weeks. Had norovirus once and certainly do no want it again if I can help it!

LeftRightUpDown · 28/10/2016 06:41

Don't go.

Even if none of you do catch it, you'll be so anxious for the next week. It's really not worth increasing your anxiety to avoid upsetting her.

Inertia · 28/10/2016 06:35

Don't go. Don't let DH take the children. And as a PP said, if he goes he is likely to bring the virus back.

You need to stop making it easier for DH to upset you rather than his mother. And if he insists on infecting everyone, he needs to deal with the consequences.

Spadequeen · 28/10/2016 06:30

So what did you say when he said his mum will be upset?

Did you point out that if you go and you, him or the baby get ill you'll be more than bloody upset?

Tell him to grow up and start being a responsible adult

Mummyoflittledragon · 28/10/2016 05:57

Do not go. The house will still be infectious even if she ends up being well today. I got a sick bug that way from my friends house three days after their d&v symptoms had stopped.

EasterRobin · 28/10/2016 05:30

Dh can go on his own if he must.

EasterRobin · 28/10/2016 05:29

Yanbu. Your baby is your #1 priority. Mil shouldn't be offended by you wanting to keep your baby safe from illness.

If she is, that doesn't matter, since she is not as important as keeping your baby healthy and safe. Sorry mil, but you're not.

Even not going because you'd worry about it seems like a perfectly valid reason to me.

Throughautomaticdoors · 28/10/2016 04:09

Mil had an upset stomach all day yeesterday (Thursday)
I think it would be silly to go on Sunday. Dh says she will be over 48 hours clear so it'll be fine?!
Should I stand firm? She will be 48 hours clear but not by much...

OP posts:

ThePinkOcelot · 26/10/2016 15:24

I wouldnt be going. I think I would be saying to your DH "your poor mum, she's been ill, she won't be able to be bothered catering for us. Well just go next week instead".

DameDiazepamTheDramaQueen · 26/10/2016 15:14

It's only Wednesday! I'm a real germophobe but even I think you should wait until Friday and see how she feels.

Gileswithachainsaw · 26/10/2016 15:13

Afford

Gileswithachainsaw · 26/10/2016 15:13

I wouldn't go either.

Especially as it is always me who gets up to the kids in the might of they are sick or who has to share a bed with a kid and a bucket (climbing off top bunk to toilet is not a viable alternative of both are sick)

So no I could not be paid enough to go. I'm laid back with most things go but I haven't got time to deal with it if I don't have to and can't aggird the time off work either

2ndSopranos · 26/10/2016 15:11

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

mrssnodge · 26/10/2016 15:11

I don't understand why she would want you to be there, surely she would cancel anyway as she is feeling so unwell? I would have been be more upset thinking I had to host Sunday lunch for everyone after just recovering- I would have cancelled anyone coming as I couldn't be bothered - not insisted they do come.

GingerDoesntHelp · 26/10/2016 15:09

DON'T go. 48 hour rule is rubbish. I gave the bug to someone after waiting 96 hours!

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autumnintheair · 26/10/2016 15:06

I can't really rely on Mil to tell the truth re when she stops being ill as she is quite selfish and will just want us to go round

Same op My mil has been the same. Doesn't care if she or in fact the dc are ill - she has to have them there.

You just have to get bitch boots on and say a strong NO. I feel for you op its crap though to be put in this hideous position isnt it!!!

harderandharder2breathe · 26/10/2016 15:05

Yanbu

Even if she's better today and so clear 48 hours by the weekend, I doubt she'll have felt up to cleaning all the surfaces etc

With older children and adults it might be ok but babies put everything in their mouths, crawl on the floor, touch places adults usually wouldn't and don't understand hygiene. Plus stomach bugs can be very nasty and worse for babies as they can dehydrate quickly.

You should put yourself and your baby's needs ahead of a grown woman being upset by something which is pretty minor in the grand scheme of things

pigsDOfly · 26/10/2016 14:53

No, wouldn't be going either.

Agree with pp, ring her yourself and perhaps suggest you go over in the week.

Why take the risk with a small child. Unless she's emigrating to the other side of the world on Monday there's plenty of time for her to spend time with you all.

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