To think that friend shouldn't fly first class knowing the rest of us can't

[AhNowTed]

So, 4 friends travelling long haul flight for 2 week holiday. Well-off friend announces she's going first class, on the same flight. No way can the rest of us afford it.

AIBU

There seems to be an assumption she's paying for it- I occasionally fly business or first if I have points to use up- they have an expiration date- she would be mad not to use them if that were the case. YABU even if she is paying- you have the rest of the trip to spend together.

OMG, I really find this thread shocking! can't beleive most people are so selfish and cold hearted. What ever happened to manners and kindness? Of course there's no doubt it's more comfortable in first class and she won't miss the 'camraderie' but that's not the point. The point is that it's not a kind and friendl gesture, it's a selfish gesture. There's no reason to mention it to the friend or make an issue of it, if I was the OP the situation would just make the friend fall in my estimation, I'd let it pass, but surely would see it as a sign of bad character.

London you sound like an utter drama queen. You say your 'often clash with friends'. How surprising.....

Her flying first class does not effect their journey.

*18-24hrs !! Fuck that! The rest of you can have a good time, or sleep or whatever you find to do to fill that mental gap of 18-24 hours! Luckily her.

Londonmamabychance - the people who begrudge her this are the selfish ones. OPs time on the flight won't be made any better or worse by her being in first class, so why turn this in to something negative?
I'm guessing they wont expect to spend every single minute together on holiday - it will be OK to slip off and have a quiet break by the pool or a mooch round the shops. This is no different to that.

A mooch around the shops

Sorry, meant to say I love that expression!

As long as she doesn't lord it over you about what she ate and drank and her comfy seat and how lovely it was no problem.

If she rams it down your thoat then do a ' bridesmaids' on the return journey.

One of my best trips (mid-long haul) was with a bunch of others (holiday)...
they all paid to fly business class, I am too stingy ;)
they were packed full in business class - we had about 8 people in economy (on a Jumbo / 747) and about the same number of steward(ess) each - total luxury - really enjoyed having better service and more space and paying less for it!

DH and I took separate flights to our friends when we holidayed together so we could fly first class. They went for the cheapest option.

Both couples were happy with our respective travel decisions so why not?

If you're upset with your friend then ask yourself why - is it because she's abandoned you, albeit temporarily, or is there a tiny bit of jealousy there?

London why is she inconsiderate? What is she were wearing a cashmere coat, while the OP had a wool one from Marks and Spencer and the two 'poor' friends had polyester from Primark? Should the first friend get changed? Buy a cheaper coat as well and wear that? Sell her cashmere and buy them all lambswool? Or she lives in a nicer apartment or drives a fancier car or joins a fancier gym? None of it affects the rest of the group. It is her money to do with as she pleases. It would be entirely different if the three wanted to go hosteling in Wales on a budget of ten pounds and the friend was arguing for luxury all-inclusive in the Carribean.

What benefit it is to to OP if the friend is in a different cabin or crammed in at the end of her own row? I genuinely cannot see how it is selfish. If I were one of the 'poor' friends, I'd feel horribly patronised if I realised she switched to economy not to make me feel bad. If it were a three-hour flight to Europe, maybe I could see your point of view but 24 hours of travelling is hellish.

Plus if she has spent shed-loads on her pricier ticket, she is less likely to have lots of spending cash for the holiday and won't be pushing for the fanciest restaurants, etc.

I would rather eat my own car than fly economy. It's shit whether it's empty or full and you are deluded if you think people sitting up front care how much fun you are having. I genuinely forgot how long planes were until I saw an episode of something where they were sitting in row 47 or whatever. It never occurs to me there's people behind the curtain

Actually, thinking about it, if I were the OP, I'd be delighted for my friend and be grilling her all about the niceties of first class and demanding to know the details so I could imagine it and dream I was there while chomping my soggy sandwich with paper napkin down the back. And secretly hoping she might share some goodies from her first class toiletry kit!

See if my friend could afford first class but decided to fly to THE OTHER SIDE OF THE FUCKING WORLD in cattle class with me in a show of #solidarity I would think she was
a. Bonkers
b. Playing the martyr.

People who are determined to Have A Good Time on a flight are often told to zip it because they disturb other customers. And if you think it's a good idea to get drunk and suffer the hangover at 35,000 feet... Well you'll soon think otherwise.

And the friends can't be that poor if they're able to take 2 weeks off to swan off to the other side of the world, so give me a break with the poverty line.

OP you sound bitter and jealous. I know misery loves company but it would be cruel to guilt trip her into slumming it with you in economy.

I'm baffled by the posters saying that your friend is selfish, inconsiderate, unkind etc. How??? She's just sat in a different section of the same plane on a very long flight. Who cares? (Well, you obviously).

If you do this flight right, you will get on, get a drink, eat a meal whilst watching a film, fall asleep, and wake up just in time for breakfast. Why do you need your friend sat next to you for that?

Like others have said, be pleased for your friend that she doesn't have to spend time in economy, I certainly would, although I'd also be very envious!

OMG, I really find this thread shocking! can't beleive most people are so selfish and cold hearted.

No, selfish and cold hearted is being envious or begrudging someone traveling differently to you.

YABVU. I cannot understand why this is an issue

Wouldn't bother me at all.

I hanged the flight back from oz. Mainly as I could have done with a friend around. Oh, that'll be her then.....

If I could afford first class and you couldn't I'd drop you like a hot potato and meet you on the other side. Why would someone make themselves less comfortable to suit you?

Personally I can't afford first class but I am certainly not jealous of people who can. Work harder and save if you want it and good luck to your friend. I hope she enjoys herself. Have a good holiday and stop bloody whining- you aren't even on the plane yet

Are you sure she's a friend??

YABU. Why does it matter how your friend travels? I think it might be a bit sad if 3 friends were flying first and only one was left in economy, but even then.... it's only a flight!!

You might be thanking her if she manages to get you all bumped up to first class

She would only BU if she was putting pressure on you to spend money which you don't have - but I don't think that's the case here?

YABU. If she can afford it why not have a more comfortable flight? Flying economy is a massive ballache and if I could afford it I would definitely pay for first class. She however should not be expected to pay for the others, she's earned it. Would you expect her to pay for the holidays as well. Just because she can afford to pay doesn't mean she should.

I wouldn't care at all. It would be unkind if 3 were in 1st but one couldn't afford it. But that's not the situation here

London I assume you have never flown long haul or you would know from the inflight magazines ad videos that the airlines are far from LOL about the health issues.

Exhaustion and dehydration at the very least, then there are the risks from sitting in a cramped position for hours on end, from cramp through injuries caused by muscle spasms as I mentioned (no previous hip problems still having physio 9 years later) to DVT. Then as I do happen to have a health issue, neutropenia, there is the impact on your immune system, mine is measurably lower in blood tests after a long haul flight. Why do you think so many people go down with things after a flight and why flying plays such a significant role for WHO in the spread of epidemics (see SARs, Bird Flu), especially given all those people are in close confinement for hours on end .

All that without people getting pissed and exasperating all the above.

Of course you put up with economy if you have to to get where you want to go but i am not such a bitch as to inflict it on my friends if they do not need to. We have supported each other through enough shit that's unavoidable, I would not let my jealousy mean they weren't spared some that was avoidable. And I am pretty sure from your tone that this is where you are coming from. You are thinking about how you feel about a friend travelling first class, not sparing them the shit of travelling in economy. I felt the same when it was my husband leaving me and the children in economy but then he deserves a bit more shit than i do

Exacerbating! Bloody autocorrect