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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think that friend shouldn't fly first class knowing the rest of us can't

289 replies

AhNowTed · 25/10/2016 17:44

So, 4 friends travelling long haul flight for 2 week holiday. Well-off friend announces she's going first class, on the same flight. No way can the rest of us afford it.

AIBU

OP posts:
LadyStoic · 26/10/2016 10:56

My instinctive response to your OP was she was being a bit U. As I, and I'm assuming other PPs judging by the shift in replies, just presumed you meant NYC/Dubai/South Africa.

And then you post fact that this is not simply 'long-haul' but, quite literally, one of the longest flights that exist and to the other side of the world!

YABVVVU - and that's just for the, ahem, 'omission' of that - fairly pertinentGin - fact and what has to be the dripfeed to end all dripfeeds!

Good luck with the utter fucking torture fun and bonding cramped in cattle class for over 24 hours. Methinks by 10 hours in you'll be wishing you hadn't taken such a pious stance and will be offering to sell your Granny to be on the other side of the curtains Grin

LadyStoic · 26/10/2016 10:57

Gin ??!

Grin was what that was meant to be, although I think in your case proffering you a lot of gin would be kind as you're gonna need itWink

crissya · 26/10/2016 10:58

Yikes! I have to say I would do this. I much prefer first class to standard. I don't think it'd intentionally bad. If you're still going to have the other two friends there's three of you for company

FrameyMcFrame · 26/10/2016 11:00

What are her reasons though?

PoppyBirdOnAWire · 26/10/2016 11:01

OP:
What an unbelievably crass thing to do. Stupid woman.

BadLad · 26/10/2016 11:23

I probably wouldn't do this, just because people might expect me to bankroll the holiday when I arrived.

Whathaveilost · 26/10/2016 11:29

Poppy i dont get why she is stupid.

She has decided on how she wants to do her journey
She has not keft anyone to sit by themselves
She is going to be with them for a couple of weeks so will be spending time in their company
They are not joined at the hip and have to do the same as each other like they are in juniour school or something.

Absolutely no problem. If it was my friend doing that there would be plenty of banter along the lines of :"lucky cow!!!' but thsts anout it. I would be slightly envious bit 5gats my issue. Good on her!

MumOfTwoMasterOfNone · 26/10/2016 11:35

Don't see what the issue is. You have other people to talk to. She has decided it's more important to be in luxury than spending an extra X amount of hours with her friends that she's seeing all holiday. Flying is evil. She's made her choice. It's one I would make too if I could afford it!

ohdearme1958 · 26/10/2016 11:50

OP I generally fly first or business but if I'm travelling with a friends who can't I generally go economy, or premium economy, if they want to try it. I'd never do what your friend has done and once at our destination I stay where they can afford - but I'll only ever agree to having my own room. I won't compromise on that.

YuckYuckEwwww · 26/10/2016 12:31

If it was a choice between economy and not going I wouldn't go.

me too, the only circumstances where I'ld consider going to oz economy was if it was one way at the start of a 6 month travelling trip or something.

No way for 2 week holiday, holidays are meant to make you feel better not worse, 2 economy flights to/from oz and that "holiday" would leave me feeling like shit, I'ld rather just not

YuckYuckEwwww · 26/10/2016 12:32

(so I've never been to oz. NYC economy was about the maximum I can endure)

whatwouldrondo · 26/10/2016 12:50

You are being totally unreasonable. I still have a hip problem that was sparked by sleeping in an awkward position on a flight to Hong Kong in economy, which I regard as doable and not really worth the additional cost of business /first class. However it isn't just uncomfortable and knackering to fly to Australia in economy, it is actually a risk to your health and well -being, and it will make you miserable. I guarantee that the only girlie bonding will be as a result of suffering. If I had the money I would upgrade every time and I do not think you should inflict an economy flight to Australia on anyone just to please your misguided notions of friendship, when in fact a true friend would not ask it of anyone. I would be booking the business class seats for myself too. You cannot party on a long haul flight, the hangover that follows is even worse than on the ground and especially because you are strapped upright at 40000ft. In fact on one long haul flight I did in business class they bought up a young girl on a drip from economy, turned out she just needed hydration and a chance to sleep.

You do know that airlines are not tolerant of partying these days? A crowd were led off our last long haul flight by the Police for having refused to be stop disturbing the other passengers, the cabin crew had each written statements quoting their "banter" word for word and detailing their behaviour, it was clearly a well rehearsed process. As the stewardess said it would be alright in a bar or night club, but not when passengers are trying to sleep.

Enjoy your trip to Australia but honestly the fun starts when you land, and if you travel in economy you will waste two days feeling shit and catching up on sleep.

squoosh · 26/10/2016 12:53

I'd do the same in her shoes. Flying to Australia is torture so I can completely understand her wanting to make it a whole lot less torturous for herself.

OliviaStabler · 26/10/2016 13:07

YABU. 21 hours in economy, that's awful. If I could afford to upgrade I would.

PoppyBirdOnAWire · 26/10/2016 13:08

She is rubbing her friends' noses in it. How charming.

venys · 26/10/2016 13:14

Could it be a points thing too? Either earning or spending loads of airmiles when going that distance. Having done similar long haul flights, the sleeping leg isn't that fun.

furryminkymoo · 26/10/2016 13:31

You can pay to go into a lounge together

2014newme · 26/10/2016 13:35

How's she rubbing her friends noses in it? 🙄

Londonmamabychance · 26/10/2016 13:43

Definitely don't think YABU! It's selfish and incosiderate of her. I understand the people who say things like "well, it's a long haul flight and it's hard to be comfortable in coach" and "it's her money" etc. But personally, I think that kind of view is quite antisocial and selfish. Of coruse it's anyone's right to do what they want, it's not a crime, it's just not a very kind or friendly gesture, it's not exactely a move that promotes bonding, is it? And I assume the whole idea of going on holiday together is enjoying each other's company?

But I guess I'm old fashioned. Often clash with friends who act selfishly and put their own needs above others, and have in the past chose to part with such so-called "friends" and hang around people who are considerate and less selfish. I'd advise you to do the same, makes you a lot happier in the long run ; )

Londonmamabychance · 26/10/2016 13:47

Also, people who talk about health issue, LOL. Most people can't afford first class and they survive! If you have specific health problems and need the space, that's a completely different case of course, but that's not the case with this friend, as far as I understand.

sycamore54321 · 26/10/2016 13:52

Really amusing thread with people bleating on about the need to be sensitive to the less well-off. You are all going on holidays for a fortnight almost as far away as humanly possible to a destination that isn't cheap when you get there. So now is not the time to play the poor mouth, it's closer to stealth boasting!

I agree with those who say it is entirely her choice and has no impact on the rest of you. You sound a bit like your are spoiling for a fight, I'd be careful to think about your own attitude in case you ruin the holiday. There is often someone in groups who loves a bit of drama and division, please don't let it be you.

As for those saying friend should pay business class for all - what the heck?! Firstly, I imagine it is far more likely she is doing business herself rather than first, just a slip up in terminology. But secondly, how hideously grabby that people would feel that she should downgrade her own level of comfort and not save the benefit but spend it on her friends, at least one of whom has said she could afford it herself.
Your friend sounds like a successful independent woman, good for her.

If she got a taxi to the airport while others got the bus, would you care?

bubblyone · 26/10/2016 14:01

I would have no issue with it. I just like to sit and watch movies anyway, so wouldn't miss her. One of my friend colleagues and I are both taking the same flight to a Chicago meeting in November and he'll be business while I'm economy. I'm perfectly happy! He's worked hard and has the money to do it, so why be crammed in down the back? We'll see each other when we get there.

bubblyone · 26/10/2016 14:02

OMG it's to Oz? She'd be mad not to go first if she has the money. I'm sure you're lovely, but nobody's lovely enough to go economy for if it's that far. NOBODY.

BadLad · 26/10/2016 14:05

Really amusing thread with people bleating on about the need to be sensitive to the less well-off

Come off it. That's nowhere near as amusing as the posts about how the poor woman miss the camaraderie back on cattle class while she's guzzling champagne and decent food and lying flat out on a comfortable bed in first class.

Alwayschanging1 · 26/10/2016 14:10

Why is it a problem? She can afford it, so why not? Won't make any difference to you at all. Stop being petty.

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