Neglect or just crap parenting?

[selly24]

Leaving a child age 5 alone in house while running an errand taking 15 mins.
A friend seems to do this a lot. Not witnessed directly but from what parent had said eg ' DC woke up and I was on errand so was upset with me' and from what child refers to or assumes.
Eg when babysitting -' oh, why do I need to come when you go do X? Parent always leaves me here.
Was mortified when first heard bu thought prob a one off, as parent's OH was away, but seems to be a regular thing...am increasingly concerned. Should I be.?

Trifle, her foot would still be broken when I got back, unless she's caught an artery the cut is unlikely to be life-threatening, if she fell down the stairs I wouldn't have been able to prevent that had I been there and if I'd been in the garden I still wouldn't have heard it - the joy of double glazing.

It's still all unlikely to happen, just as me getting run over by a car mounting the pavement or me having some kind of aneurysm while out.

Could it happen - yes. Is it likely to happen - no. That's what assessing risk is about. Where I work you have risk assessments that you fill in and based on the known knowns and the known unknowns you make a decision on whether to go ahead. You cannot plan for the unknown unknowns but you sure can worry yourself into the ground over them.

Tartlett: It's a fair point, but most 5 year olds would seek help because they would be able to see that you were sick. It's different if you have told them you will be back soon and not to answer the door to anyone, everything will be fine etc.!

Who are you asking zzzzz?

Neglect and I'm laid back by mn's standards.

Enb76: I don't often say anything like this but I am seriously concerned about your judgement. You sound negligent at best.

I don't know now. Before it happened I was starting to give her more independence but something like that gives you a different perspective.

Before, I thought it was unlikely, wouldn't happen to us, a negligible risk. Now I can't help wondering if it will happen again.

tartlett well, if I had a heart attack or aneurysm whilst 'at home' with my 5 year old, that would be awful. But I wouldn't have any control over that...whereas I do have control over whether I leave my 5 year old alone at home, while I pop out.

I always avoid these threads as they get me so wound up so i've skipped to the last page and just read these responses.

Oblimov, i'm right there with you. The anxiety, the what ifs, the fear on these threads is ridiculous. Its a wonder how any of you get through the day.

5 year old, so possibly year 1? Yep, i left mine for 15 odd minutes to walk to the shop, go next door, go up the lane for eggs. She knew I was gone, she knew not to go outside, or start a fire or invite the neighbourhood peadophile in

Press: But why take the risk? What is stopping you from walking her up the lane for eggs with you? Honest question: what is in it for you or her, choosing to leave her alone?

Do you know what a risk assessment is? Do you do them, as part of your job?
I wonder what some posters knowledge of risk is.

enb your attitude genuinely scares me, it really does.

Soooo, let's say your child falls downstairs and seriously injured themselves do you really not think it infinitely better/safer for you to already be on hand to immediately take charge...as opposed to being 15 minutes away, down the road, while your child lies seriously injured, terrified, in agony, unconscious.

Really?

I have a very well behaved three year old. I still panic if I need to run out to the car to get something. I don't know if I'm being daft but I'm sure every time that the minute or two I'm outside she will manage to hurt herself in some way. At 5 there is no way in hell I will be properly leaving her at home alone. Not a chance. Anything could happen. They are still so impulsive at 5.

Trifle thank you for concern but it's unnecessary and over-egging the pudding. I have a lovely, happy, engaging, independent child and she will make her way through life with confidence and aplomb. I didn't get that by being overly anxious about whether she was left reading a book on the sofa for 15 minutes while I went to the shops.

The social worker that ran the safeguarding training didn't give an age, as it would depend on what the risk to the individual child was.

I would personally leave my 6 year old for 5 minutes to nip to the postbox or something. By the time he is 8 I would imagine I could leave him for up to 30 minutes to take his brother to school or go to the shops.

Happened to me when I was 6. Mum left me in bed and nipped out to the corner shop, I woke up and sobbed my heart out when I couldn't find my mummy. She found me trying to open the front door open in an attempt to go and find her. Dad had walked out when I was 2 never to be seen again, I was probably worried that mum might not come back.

Lots of careless incidents like that and worse throughout my childhood resulted in an adult with many, many issues sadly. Some people are too irresponsible and selfish to reproduce but of course they're too selfish to realise that.

MaQueen: Totally. I just can't understand why someone would risk this outside of an absolute emergency. Child is unconscious and bleeding from head wound: is it better that ambulance is called and bleeding staunched A) immediately or B) when Mum or Dad comes back from the shops? 😂

Oh come on Queen. She never said that.

Enb76: Because you were lucky. Nothing to do with what you did being a good idea.

You panic if you need to get something from the car? Panic? For a 3 year old?

Why don't people take their five year olds with them? If it's only a short errand

It smacks of laziness to me.

the childs ability to cope is irrelevant. What if she had an accident while she was out? When I was rushed to A&E they didnt think to ask if I had a child at home.

Neglect poor kid.