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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to start charging my sister rent?

380 replies

cerealnamechangers · 25/10/2016 10:41

My dsis has lived in my mortgage free house for seven years with her adult daughter since we moved to a bigger property, in that time i have never asked for a penny in rent as we were pretty comfortable but she has paid all the bills for the house e.g. council tax. I was intending to keep the house incase any of my dc ever wanted to move in. The market rate for rent would be about 650-700 pounds per calendar month.
However we now have 2 dc at university and money is tight so we could really do with the extra cash to help them out. Dsis is not short of money and her and her daughter drive nice cars and go on multiple long haul foreign holidays, so aibu to ask her for a contribution for living there? I feel awkward asking her as she has never offered.

OP posts:
Mummyoflittledragon · 25/10/2016 12:08

Why wait till Christmas? They're struggling now. That's 2 months away. In that 2 months, if dsis refuses to pay, op could have kicked her out and have the house ready for rental. The rental market generally goes dead around Christmas and picks up towards the end of January so waiting until Christmas is not a good move.

Cherrysoup · 25/10/2016 12:08

Tell her in the next month a few rental agents will be round to value it for renting

Or for sale. Now I've read that she was supposed to pay £100 a month and didn't, I'd be charging her full market value or selling. Sorry, OP, she's a cheeky cow.

SuperFlyHigh · 25/10/2016 12:08

This also depends on relationship with her sister - is she prepared for a rift in the family over this?

only OP knows the answer to this.

Cherrysoup · 25/10/2016 12:09

And you're paying the insurance?! You are being had.

MyGiddyUncle · 25/10/2016 12:10

Why would being asked to pay for your living accommodation, like everyone else, cause a family rift?

There is no possible objection the ops sister could have to not pay her way.

Trifleorbust · 25/10/2016 12:11

I would wait until after Christmas myself because it allows for whatever financial or living adjustments the sister will need to make, like if she can't afford to pay the market rent and needs to move somewhere cheaper.

Mummyoflittledragon · 25/10/2016 12:11

Op has to pay buildings insurance because she and her dh owns it. Not contents. Not worth it even if there is some furniture belonging to them.

ReggaeShark · 25/10/2016 12:11

Tell her you need to let it on a businesslike basis due to shortage of funds. She can either live there herself at market rate or find somewhere else.

Mummyoflittledragon · 25/10/2016 12:12

The sister and her dd can afford it. They've both got good cars and have nice holidays.

DudeWheresMyVulva · 25/10/2016 12:12

I was trying to be nice in my previous post. What I would honestly recommend is telling the sister you need to charge a market rent forthwith. If she can't pay it then she needs to vacate.

I grew up with a MDother who had her family members take her for a ride because she was ostensibly 'better off' than them. Someone up thread said' no good deed goes unpunished'. That is my experience too.

Or as DH says - 'I did someone a favour once. He has never forgiven me for it'.

Eevee77 · 25/10/2016 12:12

I'd charge 450-500. Just tell her your incredibly skint ATM and you're looking into renting out the house. She has first refusal at the £450-£500 a month

Treeroot · 25/10/2016 12:13

Don't feel bad OP, over the last seven years by not charging your sister rent you have saved her over £50,000. I think it's time to say you've done enough for her.

Trifleorbust · 25/10/2016 12:14

Maybe so, but that's what I would do.

DudeWheresMyVulva · 25/10/2016 12:14

Don't wait until christmas either.

Tell her now. Give her proper notice. (That will take her until after Christmas anyway).

Trifleorbust · 25/10/2016 12:17

That's what I mean, sorry: tell her now but give her 8 weeks notice. Tell her the first full rental payment is due on 1st Jan, or she needs to have moved out by then. That is more than fair.

slenderisthenight · 25/10/2016 12:18
Shock
JaniceBattersby · 25/10/2016 12:18

Christ alive. What exactly are you getting out of this OP? Two adults, dossing in your house, rent free, reluctant to pay rent? I'd be mortified if I were them and knew you were struggling. How can they live with themselves?

SymphonyofShadows · 25/10/2016 12:18

I'd also get the mortgage shifted to the house the sister is in as the repayments can be offset against any rental income, and the house you live in is owned outright.

HouseworkIsASin10 · 25/10/2016 12:22

She is badly taking the piss, I'd sell the house.

Nocabbageinmyeye · 25/10/2016 12:22

So she owes you over £8000 pounds in unpaid rent too???

Justjoseph · 25/10/2016 12:24

Yes wait until Christmas...that's another £1,300 she can have for free!

Good lord tell her now. Totally honest cards on the table.

"We need this investment to start paying its way. We are really struggling with the children at uni and we want to rent it for £650 a month. You can have it for a bit less £580 as we won't need an estate Agent but you need to pay at the end of next month or looking for somewhere else."

If she is arsed then I would say." I'm sorry but we worked it out and if we had rented it it would have netted 50k"

Who could argue with that?

PaulDacresConscience · 25/10/2016 12:30

I'd go with MrsJayy's approach. Tell her that things are very tight financially for your family right now and that you need income from the house. Tell her that you are happy for her to stay there but that she is going to need to start paying rent. As she is a family member you're happy to give her a discount on the market rate - how much is up to you. However you're giving her 8 weeks' notice that this is happening and if she isn't willing to do so then she'll need to move out.

You need to give her some notice of the change, given that in 7 years you have said nothing. As PP have said though, if you are going to start charging rent then you need to get this on a proper footing - AST, Landlord's insurance, gas safety and PAT testing and so on.

toptoe · 25/10/2016 12:30

OP just tell her straight: your finances have changed and you need her to pay the rent.

What is she going to do? If she refuses, you'll just have to tell her th ehouse is going to be rented out. She'll have to move. Or pay you a lot less than whaat she'd pay elsewhere.

If she gets shitty that's not your fault. I wonder if she's a bit of a problem if you're worried about telling her to pay what she should rightly pay.

WicksEnd · 25/10/2016 12:35

This is insane!
It's your children's inheritance you're GIVING away for one.
Tell her you need to put it on the rental market due to change in circs but you'll give her first option at full market rent or 3 months notice.
You could have bought another property for all the money you've given her.

diddl · 25/10/2016 12:36

"Love Our financial circumstances have changed from when she first moved in."

And perhaps hers have too?

Adult daughter, car each, long haul holidays-she'they must be able to afford rent!