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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to start charging my sister rent?

380 replies

cerealnamechangers · 25/10/2016 10:41

My dsis has lived in my mortgage free house for seven years with her adult daughter since we moved to a bigger property, in that time i have never asked for a penny in rent as we were pretty comfortable but she has paid all the bills for the house e.g. council tax. I was intending to keep the house incase any of my dc ever wanted to move in. The market rate for rent would be about 650-700 pounds per calendar month.
However we now have 2 dc at university and money is tight so we could really do with the extra cash to help them out. Dsis is not short of money and her and her daughter drive nice cars and go on multiple long haul foreign holidays, so aibu to ask her for a contribution for living there? I feel awkward asking her as she has never offered.

OP posts:
mothattack · 26/10/2016 16:37

Wow! What a thread!

OP for what it is worth I also think you need to ask her for rent and get a tenancy agreement. There could be all sorts of legal/ ownership implications for you without a tenancy agreement and with her having lived there so long without you receiving nay money. I would get advice about this before you raise anything with your sister.

How about starting off with asking for the £100 that was previously agreed, before ramping it up over a few months to £500 or 550 pcm. (a 20 - 25% discount) That way she has some time to plan her commitments and adjust her expectations, and this should help her to be more reasonable about it.

It is costing you something as it could be providing you with an income which you now need and if I were your sister I would have been falling over myself to pay you something reasonable.

On the basis that she hasn't made an effort to do this, I would be protecting yourself and your legal situation first. I mean it is hardly unreasonable to expect her to pay some rent especially if she has cars and holidays and a nice lifestyle. It isn't like you are forcing her out of a home.

But if you don't get legal advice first she may, and it could make your life harder. It would be wise to know your legal position before you start negotiating.

Good luck with it. I hope you get a good outcome Smile

QueenLizIII · 26/10/2016 17:05

Also I wonder will the op charge her adult dc rent when they complete uni.

I would tell my mother to swing for rent payments if she allowed my aunt and niece to live rent free and indulge in new cars and holidays for so.many years.

2kids2dogsnosense · 26/10/2016 19:00

Very well put, Mummyoflittledragon

Mummyoflittledragon · 26/10/2016 19:30

Thank you everyone who commented on my post. I'm trying to get better at taking compliments / recognition. Blush

Interesting point QueenLiz. Op has got herself into a bit of a pickle.

Good luck with sorting it out and please let us know how you get on op.

Msqueen33 · 26/10/2016 19:40

I would consider saying you're selling the house. She's lived rent free for 7 years and not even paid the dirty cheap £100 a month you agreed. You've now told her you're having issues with your car and still nothing? I really think you ought to ask her to leave.

DragonNoodleCake · 26/10/2016 19:43

I suggest at least £400 is reasonable £50 each a week rent is very cheap!!

QueenLizIII · 26/10/2016 19:47

The more I think the less I think she can claim any possession of the house. The sister i mean.

there has been no consideration for her owning the house. the mortgage was paid. she never paid rent. she only paid bills. presumably she hasnt upgraded the property or done any work to it. she isn't a squatter as she was permitted to live there.

quite frankly the law doesn't generally give you something for nothing. she has paid nothing for the actual cost of house and it is unlikely she'd have claim to it.

Happymumof3tob · 26/10/2016 20:11

I think 100 is reasonable. And for those saying its not rent free as she was paying bills...i rent from a private landlord we pay rent and all the bills and council tax. Because thats what you do! Duh!Hmm

Justaboy · 26/10/2016 21:44

Giving this some more thought I think you be well advised to have a formal rental agreement between you and sister else there might be a squatter issue arising at some stage. let alone if you were the fallout in the future!

helennotsomadnow · 26/10/2016 23:35

OP you have been so generous to your DS but it has to stop now as it is at the expense of your own family

Firstly legal advice just to check your position. Then all being well tell your ds that your position has changed and you need to have rental income from your property, you do not owe her anything, she owes you but maybe say that you will have £200 in November, £400 in December and from January you will expect £600 a month, below market values but a rent that makes life easier for you and your family.

Good luck, I hope she appreciates just what you have done for her

LadyConstanceDeCoverlet · 26/10/2016 23:52

Happymum, you really need to RTFT before making duh! comments. And £100 is far too little.

Highlandfling80 · 27/10/2016 05:56

Let us know how you get on op.

HardcoreLadyType · 27/10/2016 06:42

I think you need to be very careful about accepting any money, as if you do, you may create a tenancy. (You would need to take legal advice on this.)

So, if you intend to accept money, you should set it up formally, with a tenancy agreement. That way, nothing is implied; everything is explicitly agreed.

Is there some reason why she would feel entitled to live there rent free? Was the house inherited from a family member, or was it a family home that was purchased under "right to buy", for example?

The thing is, you appear to have tried to do the right thing by your sister, but she does not appear to have reciprocated. She doesn't seem to appreciate the favour you have done for them. This seems a very one-sided relationship, with you treating her specially, because she is family, but with her not acting the same way. I am sure that that is a difficult thing for you to have to come to terms with, but you need to. Many people rent within a family, and it works well, but I would suggest that for it to work, there would need to be some mutual sense of obligation and in this case, that doesn't appear to be true.

Roussette · 27/10/2016 07:33

Happymum of course everyone who rents from a private landlord pays bills and council tax and rent... I'm not sure what your point is?? Unless of course any of this is included in the rent which it can be in some cases.

£100 is far too low for a property worth £600 plus per month. Your DSis has had years of rent free property, now is the time to start paying you a realistic rent.

Glastokitty · 27/10/2016 07:44

Wow. I wish someone would let me live rent free in their house. She is royally taking the piss! Wouldn't this money be better going to your kids, rather then your sister's cars and holidays? I'd tell I needed to sell up, and give her a few months notice (if I was feeling generous).

Glamorousglitter · 27/10/2016 10:43

Golly
I m shocked that she s been happy to see you struggling while living rent free in your house :(.

I think you should have a conversation with her about how you are financially struggling and you new to rent out the house, ask her if she would like to stay on as a rent paying tenant and present her with market value quotes and she should pay 68-80 % of market value I think it s more than generous as you ve already saved her thousands on rent the last 7 years.

PrincessFiorimonde · 27/10/2016 12:37

Agree that the sister should be paying some rent, and that market rent less a discount that both OP and her DH are happy with.
But people suggesting OP has lost £50,000- £60,000 over the years are forgetting that income tax (perhaps higher rate tax, depending on the OP's circumstances) would have been due on the profit from any rental. Also that market rent today may be much higher than it was 7 years ago.
Of course OP has lost out on significant income, and her sister has benefited hugely! But just seems a bit guilt-trippy to suggest OP has deprived her kids of £50-60k.

PrincessFiorimonde · 27/10/2016 12:45

Pressed 'Post' rather than 'Preview'. I meant 'and that this should probably be market rent less a discount ...'

PersianCatLady · 27/10/2016 13:14

Happymum, you really need to RTFT before making duh! comments. And £100 is far too little
Absolutely.

laurenandsophie · 27/10/2016 13:27

OP, how did you go with your (cough scam artist cough) sister?
FWIW I reckon you should just kick her out. Not even offering money with a car needing to be repaired is the final straw. What does she have on you that makes you so scared of upsetting her?!

PaulDacresConscience · 27/10/2016 20:27

Stick to your guns OP.

Conkernudge · 29/10/2016 13:12

Just to say I hope your chat with your sister goes ok this weekend. I expect you're a bit nervous about it, but hopefully there's no need. You've been doing her a massive favour all this time, you've saved her thousands! I hope she agrees to start paying rent without a fuss.

icelollycraving · 29/10/2016 15:52

I too hope it goes well. I suspect she won't take the news well but remember at what cost your help has been op.

viques · 29/10/2016 17:20

Bookmarking to see outcome. For what it is worth I think you have to charge market rent for the property. she won't like it, but two adults living for free for seven years is taking the piss, you sound like a lovely sister, however did she end up so grabby?????

bringbacksideburns · 29/10/2016 17:57

Wow OP. Seven years rent free?? Seven YEARS?? Are you bonkers? Shock