Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to start charging my sister rent?

380 replies

cerealnamechangers · 25/10/2016 10:41

My dsis has lived in my mortgage free house for seven years with her adult daughter since we moved to a bigger property, in that time i have never asked for a penny in rent as we were pretty comfortable but she has paid all the bills for the house e.g. council tax. I was intending to keep the house incase any of my dc ever wanted to move in. The market rate for rent would be about 650-700 pounds per calendar month.
However we now have 2 dc at university and money is tight so we could really do with the extra cash to help them out. Dsis is not short of money and her and her daughter drive nice cars and go on multiple long haul foreign holidays, so aibu to ask her for a contribution for living there? I feel awkward asking her as she has never offered.

OP posts:
hellsbellsmelons · 25/10/2016 11:48

As a PP says - imagine the money you could have now had you rented it out at the full market rate.
You were and still are very kind and have helped your DSis massively.
Now it's time to tell her you need rent or she will need to move out.
I honestly think you need to start at £500 per month.

LeninaCrowne · 25/10/2016 11:48

If she should have been paying a nominal £100 a month, that's £8,400 over 7 years - or say 2 fancy long haul holidays for her and her daughter, or maybe the value of one of the fancy cars.

PlumsGalore · 25/10/2016 11:48

Seriously OP you have been more than generous for a significant number of years. You are now in a financial position where you have to support two DC at university whilst your sister is having extravagant holidays and running nice cars. You however cannot afford to repair your own car.

You sister, as much as you love her, is a massive piss taker, and now is the time to call it a day. I certainly don't think £100 a month is anywhere near enough, that won't men your car or make a huge difference to supporting your DC. She has made thousands out of your generosity, YOU are buying her cars and her holidays for her.

£500 a month for a house that would cost her £650 a month elsewhere is a bargain.

MrsJayy · 25/10/2016 11:49

Ah so she was taking the piss from the start, well you just need to put your big girl pants on say we are needing rent or you can move out.

you need to set up a standing order for X £s by Y date i will sort out your tenancy agreement if you and your dd dont want to rent the house you have Z months to move out.

fbreading · 25/10/2016 11:51

What Plums said

SuperFlyHigh · 25/10/2016 11:51

Just I actually think having thought this through that sister should pay a lump sum to OP (the savings she has made) - so eg half of what she would have saved - eg 40K = 20K

more than generous but more than fair.

however I don't think sister will do this at all.

QuiteLikely5 · 25/10/2016 11:51

You need to find a back bone op. Ask her outright today to start paying rent of at least £500 pcm

If she refuses tell her you will be selling the property.

BreconBeBuggered · 25/10/2016 11:51

Bollocks to charging a reduced rent, or going through the hassle of registering as a landlord if you don't want that in your life. Your DSis has been taking the piss. If I were your DH I'd be talking about selling up, though I can see why you'd be a softer touch. Give her first refusal if you want to, but you need that money for your own family now.

QuiteLikely5 · 25/10/2016 11:52

Oh and come back an update is with her answer Grin

BarbaraofSeville · 25/10/2016 11:52

By not charging rent for the last 7 years, the OP has basically given her sister around £50k, so has been more than generous.

The fact that the house is mortgage free is immaterial. If the value wasn't tied up in property, it could be earning interest or dividends etc if invested elsewhere. The sister needs to pay rent or move out so someone who will pay rent can move in.

Trifleorbust · 25/10/2016 11:53

Very unreasonable to allow someone to live in your house without ever asking for rent and then slap down a demand for 20k, Super!

Jellybean83 · 25/10/2016 11:57

Well taking the drip feed into consideration it's not too hard to see how it's going to go down when you tell her to start paying rent. I agree with some PP, get advice first.

Arfarfanarf · 25/10/2016 11:57

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SuperFlyHigh · 25/10/2016 11:57

Trifleorbust but sister has either been spending money recklessly or has been saving money away - that money should have been rent paid from day 1. and sister should have paid £100 a month that was dirt cheap from start but did not pay this. so OP did ask sister for rent it was just never paid.

MrsJayy · 25/10/2016 11:58

20k what ? Where did the op say that, yes she has been soft on her sister ignoring the initial £100 asked for probably for a quiet life but she needs have changed sister needs to pay the rent or move out.

Trifleorbust · 25/10/2016 12:00

Sorry I missed that rent was requested but not paid. Seriously?

icanteven · 25/10/2016 12:01

Just as a matter of interest, she has been there for 7 years - what is the law regarding habitual possession, or whatever the phrase is? Is the OP going to be able to shift her sister out of the property now, even if she wants to?

Also seriously, OP - you don't need to do the reduced rent thing. The only "discount" I would give her is the percentage that you would pay to a letting agent to get the place for you (8% or so). And you need to get a proper lease in place, because you may well have a row on your hands down the line.

QueenLizIII · 25/10/2016 12:02

Is everyone overlooking the adult niece?

She'd have had to pay market rents for a property too.

SuperFlyHigh · 25/10/2016 12:04

MrsJayy - the 20K would be half of what the OP's sister would have paid in market rent or at a reduced rate. 20K would be a fair offer to make... had sister saved the rent she would have been paying.

Trifleorbust · 25/10/2016 12:04

OP should never have ignored her sister's failure to pay the nominal rent to start with. What a massive piss-taker. Still, I wouldn't ask for a lump sum. I would just charge her a market rent from after Christmas and give her notice to move out if she doesn't pay it.

DudeWheresMyVulva · 25/10/2016 12:04

Honestly. You DSIS has had a very good deal and she owes you at least some flowers.

Tell her you need to rent the house at market rate. If she wants, you can rent it to her with a formal agreement etc for a slight discount. No more than 10%. She is STILL lucky if she agrees to that.

I know it is hard to argu with family and be strong with them if you are used to kowtowing to them / and or feeling guilty because you happen to be in a slightly better position than them. But, you are NOT in the wrong in any way here, and your DSIS has been taking the piss.

LadyConstanceDeCoverlet · 25/10/2016 12:06

I would suggest you charge an absolute minimum of two thirds of the market rent, and make it clear that it will have to go up to full market rent on, say, 1st January 2018, given that she's had the benefit of 7 years rent free. It doesn't really matter why you need the money, she can't freeload for ever.

Also remember that you will have to pay tax on this.

GrinchyMcGrincherson · 25/10/2016 12:07

*She's paying ALL the bills for the house? So surely that is her "rent". She certainly doesn't live there rent free.

So you want her to pay ALL bills and actual rent? If your going to charge her 650-700 a month then you will need to pay half the house hold bills yourself*

Why? From how I read it the op LIVES IN A DIFFERENT HOUSE. I'm sure she can confirm this.

OP is lucky enough to have a major asset of a mortgage free house. She lets her sister live there rent free, her sister pays the bills. Now money is tighter the OP could use some extra cash. She wants to charge her sister a very minimal rent to help pay towards her own DCs uni costs.

I think it's very fair as if your sister was renting she would be paying a LOT more. You are taking a huge hit on the rent you could get for the security of having a trustworthy tenant.

MyGiddyUncle · 25/10/2016 12:07

So far, if you think the property is worth £650 a month, she's saved over £54,000 by living there for free for the last seven years. You have done her a huge favour, but it's time to renegotiate. I'd ask for £350 (half of £700) as that's still a huge discount and much cheaper than anything she can find on the open market

The op owns a second house...presumably for the financial security of her and her family. Why should she only charge half the market rent?

Tell your sister you're going to need the full market rent from now on (like a couple of pp's have suggested, maybe minus 10 or 20% considering you don't have the faff of going through agents etc.

Slashing 50% off market rent for the forseeable is nuts though and far, far too generous.

Imagine what you could be doing with the thousands you've lost over the last few years. Your sister is taking the piss and you're being a doormat op.

LikeDylanInTheMovies · 25/10/2016 12:07

The sister has some brass neck. I couldn't for shame spend money on fripperies like expensive holidays or new cars knowing I was living off my sister's coin the entire time. The op shouldn't feel embarrassed at all, the sister on the other hand...