To be fed up with vaping house guest.

[birdladyfromhomealone]

for background my friend and I both smoked, I gave up five years ago my friend 2 years ago but vapes instead.
She is now staying with me so I have been with her 24/7 for the last couple of weeks.
we dont work so atm spend all day together.
she vapes constantly, is always clutching it and blowing vape smoke over me, food, in my face constantly.
I HATE the smell, sickly sweet, it has made my house smell differently. I have hinted that I dont like it but she says its not smoking, harmless etc
I want her to leave I just cant stand it any longer.
not sure if it is a coincidence but I have a headache every day- does it cause headaches in other people.
Dont want to fall out with her over it but if she was smoking she wouldnt do it constantly in my home.

The anti-social aspect of vaping is not dependant on vaping being dangerous or as dangerous as smoking

It is antisocial because people close to you are forced to participate because they inhale it too

I would personally rather be near a smoker than a vaper, the vaping stuff really sort of "catches" the back of my throat I find it far more unpleasant

If its a situation where you wouldn't smoke, don't vape! Most vapers I know go by this, a small few don't and quote how it's safe, but that's not the point, it's still obnoxious. FYI I feel the same way about insence

hollinhurst84

You get bad comments because people who use them seem to think that because they're not cigs, you can smoke them everywhere and anywhere you want. They seem to think that because it's not tobacco, you can smoke them in somebody else's house.

They do smell. You can't smell them, and that's fine but they stink to a lot of us. Most smokers (I was one myself) can't smell the cig smoke on themselves either.

I have never vaped inside someone's house
These are comments from people on the street that I don't know, from smokers, from non smokers, from work colleagues

Tell her it's making you ill. I hate the smell of vapes, I hate it as much as smoking.

Once I was in hospital and the woman opposite me was vaping like her life depended on it. She started a fight with a HCA because they asked her to stop sucking on the bloody thing.

I have hinted that I dont like it but she says its not smoking, harmless etc
Don't HINT to her that you don't like it, TELL her straight that she is not to vape any more inside your house.

Just tell her you don't like it and to stop or leave. It's your house. You find it unpleasant. You don't have to have explain yourself.

I have 2 lovely colleagues who do it. They are both very considerate of others, but when I do catch it I think it smells awful and makes me feel queasy. It reminds me of when I was a kid and being stuck in the car with my mum's overpowering perfume. That used to make me feel sick too. Just because it doesn't damage your health, you still don't have to put up with it.

I cannot understand why people can't see just how ridiculous vaping looks, it is almost like an adult dummy that they have to continually suck on.

It wouldn't work in film noir would it cat lady?

In my head I can hear snake charming music when people vape.

Dear capers

I don't care how much better it is for YOU than smoking. I don't care about YOUR choices at all. I don't care if me not letting you vape in my house means you go back to smoking and die of emphysema. Your choices, your problems.

That foul vanilla vomit smell does not come in my house.

Just kick her out. Why is she freeloading in your house, stinking up the place anyway?! Just say "you're rude, you stink, go!"
And yuck to spending 24/7 with each other too. I'd go stir crazy.

I vape at times but I must say that walking along by vaping shops, especially those where you can try them for free along a vape counter, I have got strong whiffs indeed .
YANBU to ask her to go outside OP

TheOnlyColditz

The absolute worst one is Bubblegum. Oh it makes me retch. I might just be hypersensitive to it after spending 16 years around kids who think we can't smell fag ash on them, but vaping definitely stinks to me and some flavours give me migraines. Somebody I was at a conference with was smoking a really awful aniseed flavour one and I had migraines for a week after!

The amount of stink really depends on the vaping device... I've got a small discreet vape pen, but those huge bubbling, rasping things with billowing clouds of smoke (steam?) are something else entirely.

Obvsiously in OPs case it's her house so she should be able to ban either! (Although I must admit it's nice to have a vape with a drink, so if you can bear to make an exception at times...)

OP are you renting your home?

Is this friend going to be staying for more than a couple of weeks because if she is you could be breaching your tenancy by taking in a lodger?

Regardless of whether she is actually giving you money or not some LLs would class this person as a lodger.

OP isn't considering ending a friendship because her friend vapes. That would be unreasonable!

But a friend who repeatedly ignores requests not to do something in OP's home sounds like a shit friend. If you're a guest, you abide by the house rules of the host.

Yadnbu I hate vaping, the wheezing noise and the smell are horrid. I accept in my friends house that she can do what she wants, but I ask her to do it out of the window only in my house because I don't like it. I also think that the more effort is required the less vaping happens because it's a habit as much as anything else

I visited a colleague's house once and it smelled disgusting to me - like she was using an air freshener from hell! I only realised where the smell came from when she started vaping in front of me. It was bad enough that I had to tell her I needed to leave and was honest about why, she denied it was possible and said she could hardly smell anything so clearly she had developed some nose-blindness.

Frankly I wouldn't allow anyone to vape in my house, even the unscented kind. The only reason that the manufacturers can claim the vapor is harmless is because there haven't been enough long term studies conducted yet. They are finding that the vapor does contain harmful substances though and the scent itself has health effects. If something seems to good to be true it usually is, so when people say how harmless vaping is I'm always reminded of the days when doctors recommended cigarettes as a good way to protect your throat...

www.pbs.org/wgbh/nova/next/body/vaping/

Thanks for all the replies!
I have had a few words but it was not received well.
She is leaving tomorrow :(
Been here on holiday for 2 weeks and had a lovely time but insists its harmless and smell less!
Its blue berry sociallite apparently and she needs to vape continually to get the nicotine hence why she needs to do it indoors.
I pointed out that when we are in a pub or cafe she can go without and asked her if she did it on the 2.5 hour plane journey here? - No
So I explained it made me feel sick and I have had a headache since she has been here but that's my imagination.
While I am typing this she is sat 2 ft away from me vaping so doesn't give a damn.
I am convinced she has absolutely no idea how I am really feeling. Though she said she is going to go to another "friend" tomorrow anyway. So has obviously taken offense to my few words. :(

She is extremely selfish and inconsiderate. She is putting her selfish desires above your comfort.

I don't know anyone who wouldn't ask before "lighting up". No-one can assume these days that this is OK.

People get very dare I say it, entitled and aggressive about vaping. Which for me is a rather big sign that perhaps they're not quite the harmless things they say they are.

A nanny actually thought it was fine to vape in my house in front of my child! Got aggrieved and surly about stopping as well. What put the tin lid on it was that an hour later I found the vaping device in my child's toy box! She'd obviously ignored my request for her to stop using it and then had absent mindedly swept it into the toy box when tidying up!

She couldn't understand the fuss about her having left an intriguing and toy-like pink shiny new object complete with highly poisonous liquid in the place where DS's toys are. And having vaped in front of him with obvious enjoyment over that morning, therefore teaching him how to put it in his mouth and suck it. Great. Very responsible. Tried to lie her way out of it, even accusing me of having somehow snuck past her and taken it from her handbag! Ridiculous and shocking behavior, and not what I'd have expected off this particular person. Which makes me wonder what's going on.

Oh and rather amusingly, I'd have had to have snuck past her on a manual wheelchair without anyone else in the house to help me into it, push me etc, all to be able to falsely accuse her!

I think vaping causes tension due to the lack of boundaries of many people using them. And the lack of societal and legal rules to protect others.

In some ways it's like the non-smoking laws have been leapfrogged for the sole benefit of those vapeing, and at the detriment of non smokers. It's not the same as other nicotine products made for smoking cessation, as its seem as a healthy and 'harmless' pastime for people to actively enjoy and remain addicted to, rather than the transitional and temporary nature of any other delivery system.

It sets up a tension from a belief that suddenly it's ok to use nicotine products in any and every situation, and being able to impose it on anyone, whatever the situation, and the appropriateness.

It may not seem fair to those who behave considerately, but it's the rudeness of others that puts people on edge.

IMO the ones that contain nicotine should have the same laws applied as actual cigs. Is it proven that NO nicotine is breathed out/released by the steam? It is definitely antisocial and rude, and i've gotten a facefull off someone who i was a good 4 feet behind in a shopping centre, indoors, stuck walking behind, made me feel very ill.

But applying the same restrictions as cigarettes means there is no incentive for people to switch to vaping (except cost and health obviously)
The more you demonise it, the more demoralised people get
People complain about smoking, now they complain about vaping
Nicotine in the air is not a problem, it's like caffeine - the tar/carbon monoxide, other chemicals in cigarettes are what causes the health problems
I don't use mine inside except for at home, and if I'm allowed to elsewhere like a local pub

Here's a post from Plenty that was on another vaping thread because she's more coherent than I am at this time of the morning!

Every time someone posts something like this it puts lots of smokers off trying vaping and makes them doubt that vaping will be better for them. This is what lead Public Health England to publish their review of evidence last year which concluded that e-cigarettes are around 95% safer than smoked tobacco and they can help smokers to quit:

We all agree that e-cigarettes are significantly less harmful than smoking. One in 2 lifelong smokers dies from their addiction. All of the evidence suggests that the health risks posed by e-cigarettes are relatively small by comparison but we must continue to study the long term effects.

And yet, millions of smokers have the impression that e-cigarettes are at least as harmful as tobacco and we have a responsibility to provide clear information on the facts as we know them to be. It is our duty to provide reassurance for the 1.1 million e-cigarette users who have completely stopped smoking to prevent their relapse. (from the statement signed by PHE and 12 other UK public health orgs)

Public Health England have also recently published guidance on Use of e-cigarettes in public places and workplaces. They are very clear that vaping should not be classed as the same thing as smoking, not least because there is no measurable harm to bystanders.