To be fed up with vaping house guest.

[birdladyfromhomealone]

for background my friend and I both smoked, I gave up five years ago my friend 2 years ago but vapes instead.
She is now staying with me so I have been with her 24/7 for the last couple of weeks.
we dont work so atm spend all day together.
she vapes constantly, is always clutching it and blowing vape smoke over me, food, in my face constantly.
I HATE the smell, sickly sweet, it has made my house smell differently. I have hinted that I dont like it but she says its not smoking, harmless etc
I want her to leave I just cant stand it any longer.
not sure if it is a coincidence but I have a headache every day- does it cause headaches in other people.
Dont want to fall out with her over it but if she was smoking she wouldnt do it constantly in my home.

[Willow2016]

But you let her vape in the car!

You should have told her put it away or bloody walk!

She has no idea how selfish and idiotic she is (maybe she does and thinks she is some sort of special case cos she vapes and doesnt smoke??) no need to put up with inconsideration from others especially when you are doing them a huge favour.

Next time outside or not at all

[Secretmetalfan]

Vapid get stinks just like smoke if you walk past someone you get. Mouthful of it. Tell her to go who needs friends like that

[BuggersMuddle]

I don't think the alcohol comparison works at all tbh. I've visited non-drinking households (religion and alcohol problems) and households where drinking with meals was poured out in a very limited way because they didn't want kids to have drunk people in the house. Not my rules, but i wasn't going to sneak a quick vodka out someone's back door...(if I had to, they'd be shit company, which is a different problem). Tbh the latter houses were more annoying than just not bothering....still didn't start necking a bottle and saying 'fuck it' though. (Did suggest some nights out without the teens though!)

[birdladyfromhomealone]

NicknameUsed
Of course she vaped the 15 miles there to make a point!

[Sallystyle]

I think people look stupid with their glasses of wine.. Why don't they just give it up? How stupid do they look getting tipsy?

I have vaped for three years and have no plans to give up, ever. I don't want to, just like I don't want to give up caffeine.

I am a polite vaper. I follow the rules (except the vaping in toilets) but I don't appreciate being told I look ridiculous.

Thankfully, my friends and family all seem to like the smell. They have no problems with me vaping at theirs but of course I always ask first.

[NicknameUsed]

"and yes she vaped the whole way there in my car"

But, why did you allow her to?

If someone tried to vape in my car I would politely ask them to stop. If they didn't I would wind all the windows down and stop the car to make a point.

Your "friend" seems to completely lack social awareness. How on earth does she manage in situations where she can't vape?

[PlentyOfPubeGardens]

But do you sit drinking it all day, or do you slot in with your hosts and their routine somewhat?

I find these things rarely conflict. I can play board games or charades, chat or watch the telly with a lovely cup of tea on the side. I didn't realise this was some sort of spectacular multitasking feat

I have friends who only ever drink water or weird green slurry stuff, they never mind if I put the kettle on for myself in their houses. I never mind if my guests want to make themselves a hot drink, or install a jug of their weird green slurry in my fridge. It's nice to feel at home in each others' houses.

I will admit I sometimes have a stealthy vape in places where I don't have permission. With a low powered device, PG based and lightly flavoured liquid and a bit of practice in front of a mirror it's perfectly possible to go unnoticed. I once had the pleasure of travelling to a demo with about 12 seasoned vapers in a tube carriage. They were all vaping but unless you were watching at the exact moment they inhaled you'd never know. Nobody else in the carriage even noticed.

If it's someone's house I'm respectful enough to go outside usually but have been known to nip to the loo. The trouble with making vapers go outside is that it doesn't work like smoking. If you're having a fag you light it, then hoover in a massive spike of nicotine in about 5 minutes and don't want any more for a good hour or so. If you're vaping, you go out, have a couple of drags and that's enough but 10-15 minutes later you want another couple of drags. Going out each time is impractical. If you try to vape like you smoke - hoover for a solid 5 mins, you're likely to be sick. As a very wise woman once said, 'smokers binge on nicotine, vapers graze'.

Luckily, most vapers find their dependence on nicotine diminishes considerably after a while so it's not a huge problem but for those who have only recently switched, making them go outside will lead to considerable craving and could mean the difference between success and failure.

My main concern is the massive death toll and health issues caused by smoking. It would be good if people were a bit more understanding and accommodating of people who are trying to prevent that.

It would also be good if vapers could learn to be polite and discreet when necessary. Most do, but unfortunately people don't notice polite discreet vapers, they only notice the ones who are not polite and discreet. Just like they never notice the smoker who takes themself far away from other people before lighting up, or the family with well behaved toddlers in the restaurant, or the people who manage not to smell despite not having a shower every day (I've been on MN too long haven't I? ).

[YuckYuckEwwww]

But do you sit drinking it all day, or do you slot in with your hosts and their routine somewhat?

E.g. we LOVE telly @ Christmas, I mean we're not sat on front of it all day but we love christmas movies and christmas specials etc. But if we're at a relatives who doesn't really do TV at christmas we go with that and do the hours of endless board games and enforced fun and don't just do our own thing and watch tv like we would at home

what's the point in visiting someone if you don't join in with them for a few days?

[PlentyOfPubeGardens]

OTOH YuckYuck I have been known to take my own coffee and tea if I'm staying with people who don't do caffeine.

[PlentyOfPubeGardens]

Some people mix their own unflavoured. I've never tried it but I've heard it tastes sweetish from the VG and slightly peppery from the nicotine.

[YuckYuckEwwww]

re alcohol! I'ld also find it rude if someone brought their own beer to my house and drank continuously even though nobody else was drinking. I have a relative who does this, they're not invited much any more.

It's not hard to read social ques: if nobody else is drinking/smoking/vaping/listening to loud music/walking around naked.. then they're probably not going to enjoy you doing it for your whole visit

[LittleLionMansMummy]

Precisely Widdlin and I wonder how many tea and coffee drinkers would consider giving up drinking tea and coffee because caffeine is bad for you. They enjoy it, it does comparatively little harm - rather like vaping in fact - whereas more death, disease and injury is caused by alcohol, which is apparently more socially acceptable. I don't see vapers getting high on nicotine, going out and starting fights. Unless they're bun fights of course. On mn.

Good points also raised about perfumes, aftershaves and air fresheners. To me, those are on a par with vaping.

[hollinhurst84]

They're flavoured not scented. You could but I imagine it would taste vile

[BreakfastAtSquiffanys]

Can you not get unscented vape liquids?

[witsender]

I know a fair few 'vapers' who never smoked.

[TirednessIsComing]

No lovely if you came again. Makes it clear she out stayed her welcome with her behaviour

[TirednessIsComing]

It's not exactly antarctic outside, that's a pa dig. Mind you she's been pretty shitily behaved by vaping inside when you arsed her not too. She's lucky she got a lift from you, you could gave stopped the car and told her to get out.

I would probably say something like 'glad you enjoyed yourself, surprised you found it too cold given its only autumn'

[birdladyfromhomealone]

Thank you for all the reply's.
My friend went to her other friends today a little earlier than planned.
We parted on good terms I think but my DH said I have been in a bad mood for the last week which he thought he bore the brunt of :(
I drove her the 15 miles there this morning and yes she vaped the whole way there in my car :(
Came home and changed her sheets and cleaned her bathroom and it does smell of her scent/vape noticeably.
We have talked about it most of the day and my DH thinks she is very ignorant and disrespectful so he says he would not have her stay again.
The funny thing is until last night when I brought it up with her after dinner last night,he nor I didnt know that we both felt the same way about it.
I asked her about vaping-is it safe? Why does it smell? Can it be like passive smoking?
She knew instantly I didn't want her vaping indoors and volunteered to go to her other friend earlier than planned, though it didnt stop her that night or this morning.
Left a post on my wall saying thanks for the holiday, food etc but ended it with shame it wasn't warmer so I could have gone outside!!!

[WiddlinDiddlin]

I wonder how many here think vapers should all stop vaping completely and certainly shouldn't enjoy vaping..

and they drink.

I think alcohol is disgusting, it smells, it makes you smell (yes, it really does but you don't notice the sickly sweet pong of your breath after wine or the nasty sicky fart smell beer gives you)...

It turns you into annoying idiots or belligerent wankers or sobbing snotty messes.

It's bad for your liver and your brain.

Just stop, why would anyone want to drink, if you NEED to drink you have got a massive problem and are disgusting.


And yeah I don't drink so I clearly don't see why anyone else should enjoy it.

[harderandharder2breathe]

OP your friend is horribly rude! No one needs to vape constantly! Many places such as restaurants, public transport, workplaces etc don't allow vaping and she clearly can not vape constantly. It's not a bloody adult dummy!

Ignore the vaping issue, she's a very rude guest who doesn't care at all about your comfort. Not much of a friend really.

[BeyondReasonablyDoubts]

Cherry bake well here. Every so often the freshmatic goes off and stinks out the room with chemicals for people to breathe. This one is weirdly socially acceptable though. Says a lot about it being people's attitude to smoking that is coming through here.

[FurryDogMother]

I've never blown vapour into anyone's face! Neither do I breathe into anyone's face - who does? I dislike the smell of some vaping liquids, but not all of them, just as I like some aftershaves and perfumes, but not all of them. Many people conflate their attitude to smoking with their attitude to vaping - and the two are very different things. Thank gawd Plenty has the energy and knowledge to redress the sheer nonsense some people are spouting on the topic.

Currently vaping lemon meringue pie and loving it :) All alone in a room at home, failing to disgust anyone.

[Polkadotties]

Also he is still breathing chemicals into his already smoking damaged lungs. I lost my Grampy to lung cancer caused by smoking and I am totally against the inhalation of anything. Grampy stopped smoking at least 20 years before he got lung cancer but the damage was already done.
OH didn't vape when we met, he was using the film strips that you let dissolve on your tongue. He said he didn't feel the need to use a vaper as he don't miss holding a cigarette. Went to a BBQ and his brother was vaping, next day OH bought a vaper

[Polkadotties]

My OH vapes. I have asked him not to do it in the house, he does it while I'm upstairs and thinks I don't know but I can hear the noise it makes.
He uses the menthol and cherry flavours and I hate the smell

[PlentyOfPubeGardens]

Do you mean this, Rafals? -

Our advice is for smokers to switch to e-cigarettes and for e-cigarette users to stop smoking completely.

You missed out a word between 'stop' and 'completely' in your paraphrase. As you may or may not know, lots of vapers carry on smoking as well (dual fuelling), at least for a while, on their pathway to quitting. Clearly what the above sentence means is that these vapers should stop smoking completely.

You haven't actually read these guidelines have you?

Try page 7, Key Principle no. 1 - Make clear the distinction between vaping and smoking which includes:

to avoid confusion, do not use smoking terminology when referring to e-cigarettes.

Do you really think an org as high profile as PHE would write a whole section on the importance of making clear the distinction between vaping and smoking (Key principle no. 1, no less) and then in the same document cock it up by writing 'smoking' when they meant 'vaping'? And nobody would have picked them up on this in the months since publication?