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AIBU?

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Original poster

He hates my son

79 replies

Helcl · 23/10/2016 17:28

My partner of 12 years had a couple of drinks and told me he hated my Son.
I am hurt, lost and I don't know what to do with this information.
I love my Partner but this has really floored me.

OP posts:
DeputyPecksBentBeak · 23/10/2016 17:29

Get rid. It will be hard for you but you can't honestly carry on with someone who hates your child. How awful of him. Flowers to you

HappinessLivesHere · 23/10/2016 17:31

Absolutely get rid. Your son's mental well being is worth more. You both deserve better.

KinkyAfro · 23/10/2016 17:32

Dump

steff13 · 23/10/2016 17:34

You've been with him for 12 years, and this is the first inkling you've had that he hates your son?

Trifleorbust · 23/10/2016 17:34

How old is your son?

SooBee61 · 23/10/2016 17:36

How old is your son?
That's what I was wondering. If he's in his 20's maybe it's not so divisive.

VladmirsPoutine · 23/10/2016 17:37

There must be a lot more to this. In what context was the discussion and point made?
It seems strange that after 12 years he'd randomly insert that into conversation.

kate33 · 23/10/2016 17:38

You say your partner so I assume not your son's father.
Has anything happened for him to suddenly feel this way or is it just that he has never told you? Can you say how old your ds is? I onk y ask in case he has just become a teenager or something and your do is struggling. Either way hate is a strong word and what he said must have hurt you terribly. There may be a way back but I think we would need more details to establish the context but I know I couldn't love anyone who hated my child.

Lunar1 · 23/10/2016 17:39

Get rid immediately, it's not even a grey area. No child should have to grow up with someone who feels that way.

Finola1step · 23/10/2016 17:39

How old is your son and what is the situation?

If your ds is 15, a good kid then this would be a deal breaker.

If he is 25, a thieving toe rag who doesn't support his own dc, different story.

So context is important.

Jackie0 · 23/10/2016 17:40

Well you need a sober conversation before you make a decision.
Is he angry with your son over a particular incident or has he always felt this way?
Is your son a child or an adult?

DanGleballs · 23/10/2016 17:44

My DP would say he hates his ex ss. I haven't met him but considering he killed kittens as a child, was sexually inappropriate in many ways, beat his pregnant girlfriend and lots more I can see where he is coming from. Context is everything.

Bruce02 · 23/10/2016 17:48

I don't think you have to get rid.

As pp says, context is everything.

I am surprised you have never had a clue this is how he feels, assuming he has lived with your son.

But if you are the poster I think you are. You have always known this is the case. And probably won't return to the thread.

steff13 · 23/10/2016 17:56

But if you are the poster I think you are. You have always known this is the case. And probably won't return to the thread.

Oh, is that who it is? Ugh.

ivykaty44 · 23/10/2016 17:57

I'm not surprised this has floored you.

Can I ask, did he give any reason or explanation for this statement?

Has something happened that has brought this up? Other than a few drinks?

honeyroar · 23/10/2016 17:58

You really need to give a lot more info. It could be a major thing, or it may not. You're not going to get useful answers from people that haven't been told the whole story.

pipsqueak25 · 23/10/2016 18:01

op ?

ChequeOff · 23/10/2016 18:01

how old is your son?

IJustAteTheKidsFoodAgain · 23/10/2016 18:05

12 years together and you had no idea? How old is your son op and how did this conversation come about?

TaliDiNozzo · 23/10/2016 18:09

Gosh yes, that must've been awful to hear.

But like the others have said, there are a lot of variables here. Mostly dependent on how old your DS is, if there is a backstory to any behaviour or difficulties in the family and what kind of a person your DP is.

Sugarpiehoneyeye · 23/10/2016 18:12

Kick him to the kerb, with immediate effect.
Little children and drunks, tell the truth. That's an old adage, by the way, but there's some truth in it !
Twelve years together, don't make it thirteen, unlucky for some.
Your Son should be your priority, but you haven't mentioned his age.
If anyone told me, drunk or sober, that they hated my DS, there would be no further conversation, because nothing they could say, would ever erase, what they had just said. The end.😡

Original poster
Helcl · 23/10/2016 18:16

My son is a young 17. He is a really good kid. He suffers from anxiety issues.He is polite and courteous Tbh lately my Son tends to stay in his room. He isn't trouble no issues My partner thinks he's selfish.
My partner and I had very different upbringings - I don't think there was much love in his home.

I am a new member of this site!

OP posts:
Original poster
Helcl · 23/10/2016 18:17

So who am I supposed to be??

OP posts:
Lunar1 · 23/10/2016 18:23

Your poor son, have you ever asked why he has anxiety? Living with someone who hated him will do that.

NynaevesSister · 23/10/2016 18:24

He has been a parental figure in your son's life since he was 5 and he is saying this? Wow. Maybe this is why your son is spending time in his room?

It would make me re evaluate everything about the relationship. How can someone know a child from the age of 5 and not like them?!?!