AIBU to think that a cashier shouldn't comment on personal items you're buying?

[catlover1987]

Just home from the weekly shop at Asda. The cashier gave a running commentary on all of my shopping. Oh that looks nice, oh aren't those ready meals handy, oh what is that, I'll need to try that. Mildly annoying but I'm sure she was just trying to be friendly. However, where I think she really crossed the line was when she seen my pregnancy test and said, oh I hope it's a yes! I didn't know what to say!

I'm also baffled why retail managers think that customers want to chat about personal stuff with cashiers.

If anyone from Sainsburys, M&S etc is watching this, most customers hate it, its intrusive, uncomfortable and inappropriate and we know that the cashier is only doing it because they are told to - they don't really think the blouse they have just scanned is a lovely colour .

I don't want to be asked if I am doing anything nice later, I don't want personal comments on my purchases and I don't particularly want to be told to have a great day.

In the last 2 years I've had 2 relatives die, one at a tragically young age, my work is often a stressy nightmare and I do a lot of my shopping in a rush to and from other appointments etc.

So I hope people will forgive me if my reply to the question 'doing anything nice later?' is a grunted 'not really' when I'm on my way to see a young terminally ill relative and I've just popped in to pick a few bits up for the rest of their family or similar.

@hickdead. I was buying tampons too! Luckily no comment was made on that (otherwise I might have cried.)

Barbara - I'm sorry you've had a bad year but the fact is, some customers DO want to chat and all that jazz.

Hit post too soon, I only will comment on an item of clothing being bought with a compliment if I genuinely like it too!!!

My awkward check out moment (actually I've had 2) was the woman who didn't take a breath between asking me if I work, am I the one who is married to that somali man with 5 children (?!?!?!?!), am I a single parent, how many children do I have..... No idea what that was all about, she wasn't exactly quiet about it and i gave short 1 word answers that turned into noises by the end but she didn't give up. I really wanted to go and complain about her but as she seemed rather odd I wondered if it would cause me more hassle when I went back in again. I have avoided that woman on the checkout for years now! And she didn't pass comment on any of my shopping!

I live 5 minutes away from a tesco store & Its closer than all the smaller shops.

The lady on the till regularly commented how I'm in there more than her, which I do go in before & after work. Which is so annoying tesco, i feel like screaming its non of your effin business, your employer expanded, dominated & killed the majority of smaller local shops, then I get questions like why do you come in here every day off the staff - arrrrghhhh

Just to add a pound land recently opened nearby and now my tesco has a pound section!

Meadows I take it you have never been in an early pregnancy unit. They are filled with people, some of whom, like me, will have been there many times (recurrent miscarriage), and mostly they are women for whom a so-called jovial remark, or any remark, for that matter, about a pregnancy test would have been deeply distressing.

Actually my first 2 pregnancies were loses. That doesn't mean i should have a problem with anyone talking about a test though does it? The OP wasn't in an EPU she was in Asda, it was a well meaning comment, nothing more.

No. No, it really wasn't. Can you genuinely not see that? That for many women the buying of a pregnancy test is not a fun-filled act?

To those saying the OP should have used a self service till, may I offer my own experience of trying to buy a pregnancy test using a self service trolley till in Asda as an embarrassed 22 year old?

I put all the rest of my shopping through (items mainly bought as smoke screen, obviously) then scanned the pregnancy test. The words "pregnancy test" flash up in large capitals on the computer screen that I now realise is angled for ideal viewing by the queue close behind me. Put it in the bagging area. Nothing happens. Writing stays on screen. I wait. Man in queue behind me leans in to find out cause of my delay and quickly retreats. I press the button for help. A light flashes above my head like a beacon. The words "pregnancy test" continue to be displayed on screen. It's a busy shop - I end up waiting a full ten minutes for someone to rescue me. Consider abandoning all shopping but have already put most of it in my own bags. The entire queue behind me stares at me waiting helplessly, I stare at the floor. The man behind me goes in search of a shop assistant. Shop assistant eventually arrives, says "oh god, sorry" and keys in the vital escape code. I proceed to payment stage and shop assistant leaves. But wait! What fresh hell is this? The pregnancy test (rrp £4) is security tagged and I cannot bag it until someone has come to remove it. Cue another long wait with pregnancy test in hand, another shop assistant who takes it away to another desk to remove the tag before returning it to my hand triumphantly, as the queue behind me celebrates.

Never again.

The Asda cashier once said 'Like wine, do you?' to me when scanning my shopping

I was shopping for a trip to center parcs with friends and I don't even think I'd bought THAT much!!

I think your cashier was BU with the pregnancy test comment; I don't mind a chat but there are some things they should know not to mention.

jessica. Yes, the Horatio one- she manages to squeeze it in on an almost daily basis! (My Jess is from Gilmore Girls)

No. No, it really wasn't. Can you genuinely not see that? That for many women the buying of a pregnancy test is not a fun-filled act? I never said it was fun I said she was well meaning. I'm just not that bothered by an innocent comment made by a stranger, never will be. You can't actually have control over the worlds thoughts.

Meadows76
Your experience is not the universal experience. It doesn't bother you? Fine. It bothered the OP, and it would bother a lot of us. You can scoff and pooh pooh until the cows come home but it isn't going to change how we feel. It's only going to start to anger and upset people who can't understand why you're being so cavalier about something that for some is a very touchy subject.

Slick I don't mind chatting with cashiers and often do, sometimes with prompting, what I do mind is personal stuff from strangers who have no idea what is going on in your life.

'Is it still raining outside' - fine

Are you doing anything nice later - not fine - you have no idea where they could be going.

Shopping is not always a treat or a leisure activity. It's a necessity that we have to fit in, along with everything else in our lives, including things that are unpleasant - a PP mentions buying smart clothes for a funeral.

That experience was made worse by an inane comment from someone who has been programmed by the great retail machine spouting bollocks about 'shopping experiences'.

Banks do the same - take money out 'ooh are you treating yourself today'? No I'm withdrawing the money to pay for my mother's funeral thank you very much, runs from bank in tears. (not a personal experience, but likely to have happened to someone somewhere).

She was trying to be nice, but her boundaries need work.

Some of them have taken the 'conversation with customers' training too seriously. I know some people will appreciate the chats

They don't get much choice about how seriously they take it. Poor sods get scored and appraised on it, including by mystery shoppers.

They also have their scanning rate continually monitored by the till computer system and are disciplined if they don't meet targets for the speed at which they put the shopping through.

I'm pretty sure that combination would send me into a state of hysterical jabbering if I had to work in retail. Just imagine it.

She's probably tipped over into inappropriateness under the pressure to chat while scanning at speed.

Your experience is not the universal experience. It doesn't bother you? Fine. It bothered the OP, and it would bother a lot of us. You can scoff and pooh pooh until the cows come home but it isn't going to change how we feel. It's only going to start to anger and upset people who can't understand why you're being so cavalier about something that for some is a very touchy subject.. Well their experience isn't the universal experience either. It's called having different opinions. It's a thing that happens in life. I think it's ok. Others don't. So what. My point was exactly your point - I don't think it's wrong and therefore so what, the cashier was well meaning, you can't control the worlds thoughts - you think my opinion is wrong and I can't make anyone else change their views. Well I'm not trying to. I'm just pointing out a difference.

A PP linked the Fast Show sketch starring the late, great Caroline Aherne as supermarket cashier.

This should be played on a loop to any bright managers who think customers want cashiers to pass remarks on their shopping!

Slightly different but I once was having a blood test and had used a form that noted I was pregnant except I'd actually had a miscarriage the week before. The woman did the test then she said 'oh I have to ask, when are you due?' So I said 'I'm not I lost the baby last week' she was absolutely mortified that she'd asked.

I think this is why we talk about the weather in the UK.

Op was this at an Asda in the northwest? Large town north of Manchester say??? If so I have had the exact same thing, bloody rude if you ask me, it was "oooh that ham looks nice, what are you eating that with? This shampoo is cheap and so on, I avoid that lady cashier now.

After my last mc, I did a few pg tests in the weeks after. They still showed positive for at least 2 weeks and it upset me, so I did a few more just to make sure. If a cashier had commented and said that they hoped it was a yes, I would probably have cried.

Happy for cashiers to chat, but certain items do not need commenting on.

Meadow well, you're doing a great job in demonstrating why some people should learn to keep their opinions and thoughts to themselves.

Meadow well, you're doing a great job in demonstrating why some people should learn to keep their opinions and thoughts to themselves. or perhaps I am demonstrating how people should be more open to the fact that other people think differently sometimes and we don't all love in a bubble?