AIBU to think that a cashier shouldn't comment on personal items you're buying?

[catlover1987]

Just home from the weekly shop at Asda. The cashier gave a running commentary on all of my shopping. Oh that looks nice, oh aren't those ready meals handy, oh what is that, I'll need to try that. Mildly annoying but I'm sure she was just trying to be friendly. However, where I think she really crossed the line was when she seen my pregnancy test and said, oh I hope it's a yes! I didn't know what to say!

This is why i love the self-service check-out.

So many nosy cashiers who havent been trained properly or who just cant help themselves from prying into things which dont concern them.

I now scan the check-outs for people I know wont give a running comentry on my shopping and actively avoid those who will. I also dont go into shops where people like this work. Its just so rude.

I used to go to one who would always ask me where i bought each individual item of clothing i was wearing and for how much, topped off with the comment "you never look a mess, not like some people we see in here."

I think they forget that theyre not talking to friends and family but customers. Its all so over familiar. Thank christ for online shopping too.

I was once told i must be bloody stupid for not having a Necrar card too.

Poppy, oh, so it's the OP's fault that a nosy, insensitive, thoughtless woman passed comment, is it? Stupid her for not expecting that and doing her shopping in another way.

FFS.

But I thought the unspoken rule was that you didn't mention condoms, tampons or pregnancy kits!

Me too.

I live (part-time) in a pretty deprived area. We often get comments about the "healthy" contents of our shopping trolley and we're always happy to explain what things are and what we do with them and other cheap ways to cook them. I generally feel it's a bit shit when people don't know what certain vegetables are, or how to cook them, but have been scanning them through the till for weeks/months/years so I am always happy to explain if they make a comment.

If I was having to buy a pregnancy test I wouldn't be happy about it or hoping for a yes, so I wouldn't appreciate the assumption or the comment.

It's fine to comment on something mundane like crisps or a nice top or whatever but there can be so many mixed feelings regarding pregnancy I think it's a bit personal to comment on.

YANBU but I'm sure she meant no harm.

I am glad they do not. I recently did a survival kit for university for someone and I went to the supermarket and bough a bottle of alcohol, condoms and paracetamol. The ashier must have thought I was in for a fantastic night but I am glad she did not voice it!

I was buying wine and a few bottles of beer on Friday night - cashier said 'lots of bottles but it'll keep you going a while I suppose' .... no not really that's tonight's wine and beer treat for me and husband!!! Cheeky bugger!

I work in retail (part time, but still). We're damned if we do and damned if we don't, apparently. If we chat, we get told off for chatting. If we don't, we get complaints for being surly and unfriendly... It seems to me that there are some customers who are just looking for something to complain about.

That said, yeesh! There's conversation and then there's conversation. I can see what she was trying to do, but she should have clammed up right around the time the pregnancy test came through! Like, she doesn't know you like that, am I right?

Short version: cashiers do have to talk, and often it does have to be about what you're buying, but cashiers should also be professional and understand there are limits and lines to what they ought to comment on. So. YABU if ALL the talking bothered you, but YADNBU if it was just the comments on the pregnancy test that got to you.

"RiverTam

Poppy, oh, so it's the OP's fault that a nosy, insensitive, thoughtless woman passed comment, is it? Stupid her for not expecting that and doing her shopping in another way.

FFS."

As I have said already, if privacy is an issue, the OP should have gone to the nearest pharmacy. She might even have found a small, quaint one where they hand over certain items in a brown paper bag.
What a fuss...

Why not use the self-checkout if someone being friendly bothers you so much?

Those comments are not 'being friendly'.

I agree, the poor cashiers are told they have to make comments on customer purchases. I'm sure they don't want to.

Some common sense is needed though. Would they comment on a packet of condoms? "Ooh having sex tonight?" I would hope not.
The same should apply to pregnancy tests and sanitary products surely.

Yes I had this in asda too was so awkward- was buying a bra (nursing!) ,some lip liner and hair dye and the male cashier said oh looks like someone's going to a party tonight(?!) me and my friend did laugh after but weird thing to say to make conversation

In Wilco's last week I got a telling off at the till for buying Zantac (the Wilco cheap version) when I should save my money by getting it on free prescription. Perhaps embracing my grey hair wasn't such a good idea.

I was a bit embarrassed as the man behind me started sniggering.

Yep, bra, lip liner and hair dye screams party to me . What more do you need for a good time?

My teenage DD was really sweet enough to offer to go to Boots for me as she was in town, and I was in misery with a really bad pile flare up. She asked for the medication I whatsapped her, and the girl behind the counter got the giggles. DD was really embarassed, and I was beyond fuming. There is nothing bloody funny about bleeding piles whatsoever and I only hope she gets them one day. I complained and got a £10 voucher but it was just really inappropriate for someone working behind the pharmacy counter. People don't want comments on personal items so no, YANBU. At all.

It's funny how you read on here so much about how we chould raise our children that no subject is taboo, always be open and honest, use the correct words etc etc but someone innocently comments on a pregnancy test and she is suddenly the devil now, we either want to be talking about things or we don't. I'm not sure what is so bad about commenting on a pregnancy test. Regardless of the history of the purchaser, the cashier was only trying to be nice.

As I have said already, if privacy is an issue, the OP should have gone to the nearest pharmacy. She might even have found a small, quaint one where they hand over certain items in a brown paper bag.
What a fuss...

So the OP was supposed to make a separate journey to a different shop just in case some nosy cow on a till couldn't keep her trap shut? I can't decide if you're being goady or just plain daft.

Poppy so you think it is perfectly acceptable for someone to have clearly personal items commented on by a cashier? And that to avoid that women should have to inconvenience themselves?

You are wrong. I have bought at my local Sainsbo's, on varying occasions, condoms, ovulation kits and pregnancy tests. Never had anyone comment on them. That's not luck, that's simply what should happen in a shop that values customers and customer service, and ensures their staff know how to behave.

I'm not sure what is so bad about commenting on a pregnancy test

Really? I would have thought it was glaringly obvious.

Just seen the comments about staff being told to make reassuring comments about each purchase.

For god's sake Why? It doesnt make a scrap of difference. Who comes up with these idiotic ideas?

Is this done in all retail environments?

Actually, ive just remembered another. Served by 2 teenage girls in m&s whilst buying a choker necklace. One picked it up, showed it to the other and said "actually, for m&s, that's not bad." Her friend agreed.

jessica. Yep, agree, it's a fine line to tread! My last two jobs have been retail, and I enjoy talking to customers - people don't really consider the people skills that are involved with this type of work; you have to learn to 'read' people and work out who would enjoy a bit of banter and who wants to shop in peace. That said, I'd never comment on a pregnancy test - the individual might be terrified the result was positive!

I find M&S particularly bad for this and assume it's part of training and policy for checkout staff to comment on specific items.

It drives me mad-
"Ooh, isn't that a lovely top?"
"Actually, I think it's disgusting so that's why I'm paying you €40 for it".

Meadows you are missing the point. I might being ds up to be open with me and his dad. I would expect him to have a conversation about his sore willy on the bus.
can you really not see the difference?

they do this alll the time in our local waitrose, i always come home and laugh about it with my OH
'oooh softest toilet roll- good choice" LOL
i also has this when i purchased a preg test (esp as id tried to discreetly hide it from shoppers queuing behind me, by slipping it under other items.
Waving it around in the air "Should i say good luck"?!
Erm... f*ck off!!

If. at 'Actually, for M&S, that's not bad'! Great company promotion!

Bloody hell rainbow you win this one that's awful!