AIBU to think that a cashier shouldn't comment on personal items you're buying?

[catlover1987]

Just home from the weekly shop at Asda. The cashier gave a running commentary on all of my shopping. Oh that looks nice, oh aren't those ready meals handy, oh what is that, I'll need to try that. Mildly annoying but I'm sure she was just trying to be friendly. However, where I think she really crossed the line was when she seen my pregnancy test and said, oh I hope it's a yes! I didn't know what to say!

In general though, love a real, sometimes interesting chat with a cashier, can't STAND anything that feels forced. What a vile idea that they're forced to comment/talk boring shit

I love to chat with cashiers but this sounds ott. A commentary on every item is intrusive and commenting on personal items is just rude!!

Though I feel the post was sarcastic I utterly agree with "Yes you are quite right to be offended.... all cashiers should be mute like robots".

I just want to buy my goods. I don't want to make friends or collect green tokens or buy a bag for life or pay a Scout to pack my stuff.

I bit insensitive to comment on such a personal item, but annoying as the mundane chit chat is, my 18yo dd recently started work for a local supermarket, they are monitored and have to make conversation with customers.

I don't mind the chat (except for personal items) but what I hate at our local Spar is when you reach the checkout, they have items they'll always ask if you'd like. Such as "would you like some chocolate bars today, 2for a £1?" Or "would you like some Jaffa cakes,they're on offer?" I politely refuse, but what I'd like to say is "IF I WANTED THE DAMN CHOCOLATE I WOULD HAVE PUT IT IN MY BASKET!"
So annoying

I remember years ago working in our local sainsburys on tills and the store had a policy where if the customer paid by debit or credit card (before chip and pin came in) then we had to briefly glance at the name on the card and hand it back saying have a good day Mrs or Mr so and so. I found it so intrusive and it used to give me the rage when I was a customer and I refused to do it when serving.

Luckily it didn't last long because so many people complained.

Dotty it is annoying but unfortunately retail staff have to ask if you would like the chocolate for a pound or peddle other offers at the till. If they don't they potentially face a warning or disciplinary.

I'd have made her feel purposefully uncomfortable.
"I hope it's a no, hate the little shits" or something
Was buying a Halloween costume for DD (a little Apple onesie) and the cashier was so rude, he told me he didn't like it and then made a point of acting disgusted at the price (£13, but I'll pass it on when we're done with it regardless)

we had to briefly glance at the name on the card and hand it back saying have a good day Mrs or Mr so and so

They seem to do this everywhere in America, I quite like it (but then I am on holiday so probably in a better than usual mood!). Funniest time was in the Disney Store when I was asked by name to sign 'Mickey's magic mirror' AKA the card authorisation screen

Someone once said oooh good luck, when I bought a pregnancy test. It was however after a ONS and I was praying it was negative. I felt bad enough without her making out it was an exciting occasion.

It's up to every individual to define when their personal boundaries are being crossed. Cashiers simply don't have the time to get to know each shopper's boundaries.
To avoid offence cashiers should keep it neutral and professional if they are trained to be friendly- eg: "how are you today" like Lidl or 'is there anything else I can help you with?" Perhaps talk about fairly universal things like the weather, time of day, etc. Or if there is something in the shopping like Halloween costumes or Christmas decorations. But commenting on someone's shopping is intrusive and overfamiliar as a rule. It would be like a stranger asking to look in your shopping bags on the way home. It is none of their business what you are buying.

Anyone who argues (as some on this thread have done) that the OP and others expressing genuine feelings of discomfort and violation about having their personal boundaries crossed by a stranger, are in fact merely 'giving an opinion'... well they should do the psychopath test - because this suggests a very limited grasp of normal human emotions and very little empathy. Chilling freaky f*ckers... in our midst (((shudders))

Daisy
she was actually talking across me to her colleague on the next till. And they went on to give their opinions on my face cream and my new skirt as I stood there like the invisible woman. Not a word to me throughout!

In the words of the great Jar-Jar Binks - "How wuude!"

all cashiers should be mute like robots

I generally feel this about hairdressers - the Stepford Conversations I am forced to have, trapped in a chair with wet hair, are beyond inane sometimes.

Mumontherun...I like you

I had a brief spell on the checkouts but I kept my comments to the full and boring, "ooh they're pretty flowers/cake looks nice/nice looking roast" etc. And never assume anything - was opposite a colleague once on a late night, dad pushing toddler in onesie in trolley. He said he was in late because just back from a holiday. Cashier said something like, "oh and mum's making daddy do the shopping is he". Dad replies to cashier/child, "mummy died didn't she?" The poor cashier looked mortified, i was cringing for her.

Favourite shopping basket - I couldn't have made a comment on this one - a man bought:

• bottle of wine
• pregnancy test
• condoms

We did wonder afterwards on the possibilities a) yippee it's negative, let's celebrate and be careful b) one for the wife one for the mistress

God it's not hard to understand is it? If your colleague nips to the loo, you don't sit there with a stony face and no comment - you might say 'see you in a bit'. You don't say 'ah, are you off for a big shit? I love doing poos, they're great, aren't they?'

If you're waiting for a bus, you might say 'tsk, it's been ages hasn't it?'. You don't say 'so, what are we up to today? Off for a bit of shopping? Get some nice new clothes?'

If you're buying a cake in a coffee shop you might say 'ooh go on then, one of the brownies, please'. You don't say 'oh, do you know, i'm going to have one of those brownies, because I had an eating disorder but I'm doing really well and haven't made myself sick in ages.'

And if you are buying a pregnancy test, you don't stand in the middle of the job and say I'M BUYING THIS BECAUSE I THINK I'M PROBABLY FERTILIZED, EVERYONE! WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT THAT?!'

Why are checkout staff assumed to be immune from understanding the limits and boundaries of everyday conversation?

YANBU at all.

I too think cashiers should be mute, at most a passing comment on the weather or "have a nice afternoon".

They can think whatever they like about my shopping but it's surely not too hard for them not to say it. Just like I don't say what I think when it would be intrusive.

She needs a tact filter fitted to her mouth. To be honest she prob said it without thinking it must no so boring for them on the checkout that to chat away passed the time. Just thank your lucky stars you don't have to shop in west cork.... the till girls have full blown conversations with the customers covering everything from kids school to cats kittens whilst you patiently wait in the que! There is no rushing the Irish 🍀

God it's not hard to understand is it? If your colleague nips to the loo, you don't sit there with a stony face and no comment - you might say 'see you in a bit'. You don't say 'ah, are you off for a big shit? I love doing poos, they're great, aren't they?'

Genius

Maybe the cashier didn't have much of a filter , maybe she just didn't think or maybe trying too hard to be friendly . I must admit that I have bought all my pregnancy tests in some large anonymous central London chemist where no one says much anyway and not sure what I would have said to anyone who commented !

mini oh yes they should must be silent and serve you
Jojofjo44 no they can't! I am thankful everyday i don't work retail, nothing will get me back there!

mini oh yes they should must be silent and serve you

To be fair, that is what they are there for; just like when I'm at work I, you know, do my job. No need to be uncivil, but I do just want to pay for my shopping, I don't want to discuss it with a total stranger. I don't like people asking me how I am either.

YANBU about the pregnancy test, she went too far there. The rest is general chit chat and wouldn't bother me.

I'M BUYING THIS BECAUSE I THINK I'M PROBABLY FERTILIZED, EVERYONE! WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT THAT?!'

And no-one is saying they have to be silent, just appropriate.