To ask why it's ok to have a bootle of wine on a Saturday afternoon with someone but not on your own.

[StrongTeaHotShower]

I'm being a facetious, alcoholic idiot. Anyone want to tell me why it would be such a spectacularly bad idea to stick dd infront of CBeebies and hide in my bedroom with some wine (or the bottle of gin my alcoholic Dad bought for me, his alcoholic daughter for her birthday . Thanks dad).

I've come so far in my sobriety this is like a bolt out of the blue. I went at the last minute to the pharmacy to collect my head meds and they said the dr hadn't sent it through so I'm stuck till Monday. This has brought on a big self medicating craving. It's just me and dd all live long day.

I'm having such a bad craving and my AA friend is away on a dirty weekend so I don't want to bother her and really don't want to admit I'm tempted to anyone else in RL.

Can anyone be arsed to talk some sense into me?

Pour the drink away, please do it.

Can you give out of hours a call to see if they can give you a script to cover you until Monday? You may need to be honest and tell them you're worried you'll relapse. Might be worth a try. I also agree with the others, do some fun stuff with your daughter.

Really hope you get through today ok.

Did you pour it away? All the drink?

Don't want to be a bitch just trying to push you into pouring it away.

Get the gin out of sight.

Put on a film both you and DD like and watch it with popcorn etc.

Distract yourself and it will ease your craving.

Stay strong.

Think about what normally happens. One bottle won't be enough. If it was me it would play out like this ..... one glass great. Second glass mildly pissed. Third glass thinking about where to get more. Child not fed and needs not met. Gin gets opened. Child gets left. Pass out drunk. Wake mid evening to child asleep in clothes. Banging head. Decide to have another drink as cannot face what has happened. Get bladdered. Piss bed. Puke next day. Buy more booze. And repeat.

Thanks. I've called AA and he suggested some good online literature in lieu of a meeting. I really appreciate everyone taking their time to post.

Wow that's it strawberry! I don't want to be that shit Mum. One of my greatest shames is putting her in bed pissed and forgetting her night nappy. I cannot ever be that mum again, ever.

Imagine your daughter finding you in a stupor, how scared, confused and upset she will be. Imagine her being hungry and cold, trying to understand why mummy looks like mummy but is not mummy.

Then imagine her happily watching tv while you snuggle with her, sober and in control, being the parent you have been since you stopped drinking.

You can do this OP, pour the wine away and chuck the bottle of gin into the middle of the duck pond.

You sound so strong and amazing, we are all with you and willing you to succeed

Pour all the alcohol you've got down the sink

If you've come some far don't drink it, it really isn't worth it

Call the generic AA number and talk it over

Imagine your DD having to see her Mum drunk, because it won't be the one drink OP that won't be enough. Do you want DD to remember Mummy being drunk?

Now pour the alcohol away!

Do something with your DD to distract you. Either film & snacks or if the weather is ok could you go for a walk to the park. Or if she's old enough bake together

Do you have any friends in rl that know of your struggle? Could you call them?

Just don't drink it. You've come this far it isn't worth it

strong. Chuck it. Like ripping off a plaster. Might have a panicky moment as it goes down the sink, but a few minutes later, you will feel such sweet relief. You've done so well (I've seen you on other threads and am also a recovering alcoholic). Remember the mouthwash and sunglasses paranoia?

Go buy a pumpkin. Your DD will love it. I remember you saying how your family drinks and there's such pressure on you to do the same. Be different. You can do this. Sending you a ton of love and strength . Wobbles are par for the course (as I well know)

I'm so alive and fun with her during the first few drinks and then it inevitably slides. I used to think the glasses of wine I'd have with her during her tea and bath made me such a fun mum. For a few hours I liked the sort of mum I was. Then once she was in bed I'd go to town on it and on and on.

Nothing to add to the other excellent posts. Go,out, do crafts, eat cake with DD, distract yourself. When you are feeling strong enough ( perhaps when meds are sorted),chuck the gin away or give it to an appreciative mate (obviously not an alcoholic mate).

Good luck with your journey to health.

Oh love, sounds really hard.

Can you watch some cheese films with her?

You've posted here because a big part of you doesn't want to go back.

Pour it away. You can do this.

Listen to that part of yourself and move towards the future you deserve.

Oh God Jess! This is so shit. I think that initial craving has passed but it's left me feeling so weak and powerless. I was fine, where the fuck did this come from?! I still can't bring myself to chuck the gin away. Pathetic. I like knowing its there.
I've seen a friend first thing in the park, when we collected the leaves. I don't want to speak to my family as they think I'm overreacting about having a drinking problem and I've kept it from most friends. I don't really have many close friends anymore.

Thanks for all the great ideas. I'm going to do a Autumn collage with her when I can drag my arse into the front room.

strong. Yep, me too. Couple of drinks and I'd be the most playful mum in the park! If other parents didn't know I was tipsy, they'd probably have thought I was trying too hard! What they didn't know is DS would be put to bed as soon as I was too drunk to 'handle' him anymore - teeth unbrushed and in half a pair of pyjamas. Then ill as hell the following morning and desperate for an 'eye-opener' to alleviate the agony. And so on....

My mum was an alcoholic.

It was horror.

Yep, that all sounds painfully familiar.

I would be angry as all get out if my father gave me a (very) large bottle of gin. Is he just back from holiday or something?

I'm really sorry to all the children of alcoholic's out there. My dad is too but he wasn't at home much. My mum held fort and sheltered me from it so I never really lived any of it. I'm really sorry.

I get that. It's a psychological 'prop'. I've had days where I'd be badly shaking and I'll, but as soon as I'd bought a bottle, I felt physically better, despite not having drunk any of it.

I really urge you to chuck it. While its there, it's like having an unexploded bomb in your house. You're doing so well. It's only liquid. Let it go.

the pharmacist, if they can see that they always dispense to you, will be able to give you enough meds to tide you over til Monday. My pharmacist does this.

Can you pour it all down the sink and go for a walk together?

Sorry if that's already been suggested..