Friend's Friend drinking all the time.!

[OutnumberedMomma]

AIBU? My friends best friend is almost 6 months pregnant and seems to be drinking quite a lot and my friend is no help to her as she is the one going out to the pubs with her feel like I am being so judgemental but if that was my best friend I would be having a stern word with her not enabling her. I myself am also pregnant and would never dream of having a drink whilst pregnant not judging anyone else for having a glass here or there but this girl is out most weekends and even adds stuff to her social networks apps like 3 bottles of cider for £5 etc...As I said she is almost 6 months and is so small you wouldn't even think she is pregnant, could this be from all the drinking she does?
I suppose we have different views of pregnancy and I feel so lucky and blessed to even be able to carry a child I would never jeopardise that. Kind of pisses me off she is taking it for granted as there are so many women in the world who would do anything to be in her shoes!

AIBU?

I'd be pretty judgy about a woman drinking heavily in pregnancy because of the risks of the baby getting FAS.

Before reading Abso's posts I didn't realise that it was possible to raise concerns officially about this kind of situation.

But, I'd want to be certain that there was actual alcohol abuse going on before reporting anything. Going out, posting about alcohol prices etc, doesn't necessarily mean that someone's actually drinking. She could be going out and drinking nothing but soft drinks for all we know. And as OP's getting her information from hearsay rather than actual first hand observations, does OP genuinely know that this woman is drinking at all, let alone to excess?

For anyone reading who maybe interested in this issue....

www.rcog.org.uk/globalassets/documents/patients/patient-information-leaflets/pregnancy/pi-alcohol-and-pregnancy.pdf

www.nhs.uk/conditions/pregnancy-and-baby/pages/alcohol-medicines-drugs-pregnant.aspx

For anyone who still thinks that HCP wouldn't be interested in hearing about a pregnant woman drinking heavily this is one NHS trusts policy that I found with a quick google search.... All trusts will have something similar:

www.pkc.gov.uk/CHttpHandler.ashx?id=29416&p=0

Here is a government document that makes it very clear the role HCP have in child protection as part of their role (see chapter 2):

www.gov.uk/government/uploads/system/uploads/attachment_data/file/419595/Working_Together_to_Safeguard_Children.pdf

I also tried to get the document from the NMC where it lays out your responsibilities under your registration but their website isn't working properly

page 8 from the 3rd link (NHS policy)

Where a wellbeing concern about an unborn baby has been brought to the attention of the named midwife it is their responsibility to consider the concerns raised and take appropriate action to promote the unborn baby development and wellbeing.

www.theguardian.com/society/2014/jun/21/pregnant-women-alcohol-abuse?CMP=Share_iOSApp_Other

The above link suggests that up to 5% of babies born in the UK may have FAS.
As a person caring for a child who has FAS, and whose mother was not aware of the risks of her drinking, I would do anything I could do prevent this happening to another child.
I belong to an organisation for carers and these children certainly are not rare.
Yes the mother has rights but so does her child who faces a lifetime of suffering.
A person with FAS has brain damage and cannot be cured. They may, among other things, also have facial disfigurement, growth impairment, liver damage, heart damage and be born with alcohol dependence.
Every drink the mother takes enters her unborn child's bloodstream.
The child does suffer believe me. They want to know why they are different from everyone else. Why everything is so difficult for them. Why they don't understand things that others find so easy.
All the carer can do is love them, support them and hope that they will grow up to be able to live an independent life. But they will always be 'different' and in the majority of cases their intelligence will be impaired.
Women of childbearing age certainly need more education about FAS particularly in the UK where young women often binge drink.
Perhaps labels about FAS on bottles of alcohol, as in the US, would be a starting point.

I would like to see that happen smilingmind

I agree with you both. There is a shocking level of ignorance out there.... And also unfortunately, about child protection too, which this thread has shown

Article from the Royal College of Midwives highlighting the role that midwives have in child protection.

It also talks about the failures of many HCP and agencies to act in the very sad case of Victoria Climbie - which is why one should never assume that HCP are already aware of and acting on information

www.rcm.org.uk/news-views-and-analysis/analysis/child-protection-is-everybodys-business